An Invisible Reality
by Woodrow Rynne
Summary: I thought life was bad enough with the whole school hating my guts and having no social life. Of course, Merlin didn't agree. He decided to throw in a deadly power lurking within the walls of Hogwarts to keep me entertained. Thank you, Merlin.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I take no credit for anything. No really, none of it. Not even all those things with my name on them.**

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><p><strong>Summary:<strong>

'Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.' ~ Albert Einstein

I thought life was bad enough with the whole school hating my guts and having no social life. Of course, Merlin didn't agree. He decided to throw in a deadly power lurking within the walls of Hogwarts to keep me entertained. _Thank you_, Merlin.

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><p><strong>Warning:<strong> Alternate Universe

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

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><p>"Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake."<br>**- Edgar Wallace - **_**The Clue of the Twisted Candle**_** (1916)**

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><p>She woke up to an echoing, deafening silence, which she was positive had been preceded by a very loud crash. Breathing deeply, she strained her ears, listening. All she could hear was her own silent breathing and the frantic beating of her heart against her ribcage.<p>

This should have relieved her, yet, even in the impenetrable darkness and the innocent silence, she knew something was not right.

Silently scrambling out of her bed, she searched frantically for her wand on the bedside table. Her fingers, however only felt the smooth surface of the table. Panic rose like bile in her throat.

She felt an overwhelming impulse to call out to Reg, but she bit down on her tongue hard, knowing it would do little good. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and she swallowed hard, turning around slowly, her hands still searching futilely for safety. Only the dark outline of her bedroom met her eyes. She shook her head to get rid of the feeling. There was nobody in her bedroom; surely she would have heard the door being opened.

She almost sighed loudly in relief when she felt her fingers curl around a familiar dark stick.

Very slowly, so as not to make the floorboards creak, she made her way to the bedroom door. She turned the handle, and stepped away slightly as the door opened. Gripping her wand tightly, she pointed it at the entrance. But it was completely deserted. She exhaled a breath she had been holding.

That should have tamed her fear, but instead she found it elevated. Her legs shaking, she made her way to the staircase. Reg's bedroom was downstairs, a thing that had made her ridicule her Aunt no end. But now the fact made her sick with fear. If only she could find her, everything would be alright. Would be safe.

Her trepidation rose with each step she took. Her logic and intuition were screaming at her that it was Them, yet, she refused to believe that. _No, we are safe. Nothing has happened. _She told herself firmly, but she knew she was wrong.

Her pulse was beating so loudly now that it drowned every noise, including her muffled footsteps. Pausing at the top of the staircase, she peered downstairs stealthily, her body pressed against the wall and her wand gripped so tightly that her knuckles almost shone in the darkness.

Just as she was about to descend the stairs, she heard a faint thump from downstairs, which echoed all the way up to her. She clapped a hand to her mouth, to muffle her ragged breathing.

Her mind formed various gruesome possibilities, which only horrified her more. _Nothing has happened. Nothing has happened. Yet._ She tried her best to ignore the dread that was now settling in the pit of her stomach, but with little success.

And then all her weak hopes were dashed.

"Answer me!" a cruel male voice barked, and she felt her heart jump into her mouth. "Never." This was Reg's voice, but it was hoarse, as if she had been kicked in the stomach.

Some other voices were now to be heard, but they sounded disapproving and irritated.

"Fine," said the same voice again. "Maybe this will loosen your tongue. _Crucio!_"

A shrill scream pierced the air and terror clutched her heart. The scream was the most terrible thing she had ever heard; it was full of agony and pain. She wanted to do something. Run down to Them and stop Them. Give herself over. But she stood rigid, listening to the tortured shrieks of her Aunt. A senseless terror had gripped her limbs. A terror beyond any understanding or control. All she knew at that moment was she had never been more afraid in her life.

As the screams stopped, she felt even more scared. Were they going to take Reg away? Was she dead?

Feeling terribly ashamed of herself brought some feeling back to her limbs. The terror ebbed away a little. She felt disgusted with herself. She was no Gryffindor, but a true coward. As that thought entered her brain, she heard a voice say, "She's no use. Let's get it over with. We'll have to find another way."

Fear can make you do stupid things. Fear of falling in love can drive away your happiness. Fear of people can end your social life. Fear can control you. Fear can mess everything.

So, in that moment of fear, when she heard Them discussing her Aunt's murder, what she meant to do was slip quietly down the stairs and hex as many of them as she could. But the fear gripping her limbs, made her rigid legs stumble and the next thing she knew, her head was fast approaching the bottom of the stairs.

Pain was what she felt next. Pain piercing her legs, her head. There was a dull ache in her throat. Somebody was screaming in anguish and a moment later she realised it was her. She attempted to open her eyelids, but could not do so. Somebody was shouting. Lights were bouncing inside her eyelids. There were odd echoing cracks. Confusion swept through her.

She felt her pain subsiding as her consciousness slipped away slowly. Lying there, all she wanted to do now was escape this excruciating pain that was burning her body.

The shouting that she was hearing was slowly becoming quieter and quieter until at last everything was silent. But her moment of comfort was short-lived. Next second her body was shaking and an unrecognisable voice was speaking urgently, "Lisa, don't fall asleep! Wake up, honey! C'mon!"

"We'll have to inform Dumbledore. You take her there, we don't have enough time." Somebody else was saying.

She struggled to open her eyelids, until finally her eyes focused on the person in front of her. The last thing she saw were strange light green eyes, before her world turned black again.

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><p><strong>AN**:Review? :)


	2. A 'Nice' Rival and An Evil Best Friend

**Disclaimer: Yes, that's right, I own them. And if you'll excuse me, I have two wishes remaining...**

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><p><strong>A 'Nice' Rival and An Evil Best Friend<strong>

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><p><strong>Leo Buscaglia~<strong>  
><strong>A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.<strong>

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><p>The party was on in full swing. Swaying bodies, snogging couples and chaos in general was ubiquitous. I wound my way through the bodies, my butterbeer held over my head to prevent it from spilling. The loud music was making my ears hurt and I couldn't even cover them with my hands. Because those hands were currently occupied in shepherding the gruesomely sweaty bodies inside James Potter's house out of my way.<p>

James Potter. Despite my immense dislike (aka hatred aka _utter_ loathing) for parties, the name sent pleasure waves all through my body. A small smile graced my lips as I spotted a shock of messy black hair over the crowd. I quickly made my way over to him, my heart fluttering in nervousness.

I wasn't going to talk to him, of course. Just _look_ at him.

That wasn't a crime now, was it? At least, I'll be able to do _something_ constructive in this party.

A whole evening staring at James Potter was one which I would consider aptly utilized.

Disengaging myself from the last of the throng, I sighed in relief and looked up.

"Evans!"

My head snapped to the side at James' voice.

I spotted him about ten feet away, pursuing a redheaded girl, looking like a love struck fool.

A girl whose name I'm not going to say.

Let's call her the Devil Incarnate, shall we? A perfectly fitting name, if you ask me.

Ignoring the painful clenching of my stomach, I turned away from the sickly sight and downed my butterbeer in one, wishing I had something stronger to wash away that sight.

I hated Jatin at this moment. Best friend or not, it was _him_ who had forced me to come to the party. The simple concept that nobody would want me here didn't seem to enter his skull. He had happily argued that most of my school mates would be much too intoxicated by alcohol consumption to notice my presence.

He was right, of course. Stupid Ravenclaw.

I glanced up from my secluded corner despite myself to notice that James had vanished after the Devil Incarnate.

What did he see in her anyway? All she did was shout.

And her smile was creepy. You know, her canine teeth were so pointed; I was surprised they didn't break her skin. Maybe that was why she shouted and scowled so much; didn't want people to see her vampire-teeth.

But, of course, James didn't see her Goosebumps inducing evil smile. Hmph!

I desperately wished Jatin would come back from snogging Dorcas Meadows. Yes Jatin, my best friend, was off snogging Dor-_Meadows_.

Ugh, the thought made me shudder.

I stood up on my toes, to find Jatin somehow. I would practically drag him away from Meadows, if that was what it took to get away from this party. I would ogle at James another day.

But my line of vision was interrupted by a sweet looking blonde girl stepping in front of me.

Rachel Jackson.

The most evil girl that I had ever come across. The fact that she looked so innocent and harmless only made her deadlier. She was the stereotypical beautiful girl— long golden hair, blue eyes, tall. That was not all— she was blessed with a brain.

A very evil brain, might I add.

She smirked the typical Ravenclaw smirk and I fought to control my uneasiness.

She hated me. And I had no idea why. Nobody did, come to that. Maybe she just needed a Guinea Pig to show her true side and she picked me. The helpless girl with no friends.

Pfft! As if! When would she see that just because I let her take the mockery out of me in public, I was not helpless? Who put that pair of mice in her bed sheets by sneaking into her common room? Who made her pie explode in her face during the feast?

That's right. Yours truly.

I hadn't spoken a single word to her till date. I just have sneakier ways of retaliation than speaking in public.

Who wants to waste so much energy, right?

"Melissa, Melissa…" she said slowly, encircling her goblet my one finger.

I didn't say anything. I knew what was going to happen. She would insult me, humiliate me and then go away, pretending to be a saint to others.

Yup, she was nice to everyone and helped everyone out. She even tutored the first years.

I can practically hear all your '_Aw_...'s.

But, of course, she was even more worship-worthy because she humiliated that 'snooty Gryffindor girl who is so evil that she's rumoured to be You Know Who's daughter.'

They were talking about me. Yeah, yeah, laugh at my expense. Even I do. I mean, how more thick can people get?

"Melissa, what are _you_ doing here?" asked Jackson, raising a heavily pencilled eyebrow and crinkling her straight nose with disdain. "Nobody would have invited _you_ surely."

Is that supposed to make me feel embarrassed? Ha! What a laugh!

I looked at her with narrowed eyes.

However, narrowing my eyes could not block her nauseating image, and probably made me look like a short sighted old lady without glasses or Delworth, our Divination Professor. So, I in turn proceeded to examine her with contempt. She was wearing a blue knee-length dress today that highlighted her curves and her golden curls hung to her waist. She, without a doubt, looked like the epitome of beauty, and immediately made me feel plain. No wonder every guy around was drooling at her. It made me want to gag.

"How would you know that, Rachel?" I said extra sweetly. "This was not _your_ party, the last time I checked."

Rachel looked totally shocked. Probably because I had actually replied. It was not the best comeback ever; but two years of remaining socially mute had its demerits.

Yeah, I couldn't stay silent like I always do. It was so much fun seeing her reaction. Apart from that, I have no idea why I gave into temptation.

Rachel was still looking at me with a bewildered look on her face. I clicked my tongue loudly, which seemed to bring her to her senses slightly and she closed her mouth.

"Stop gawking at me like that, Rachel." I said in the same sweet voice. "I know I look good tonight, but you wouldn't want the world knowing that you're a lesbian now, would you?"

Wow; that felt _so_ good. Rachel looked positively murderous right now. Why did I keep mum these two years again? I basked in her angry gaze, feeling for once, empowered in her company.

Then she smirked. Huh? I blinked. She was _smirking _and had such an evil look in her eyes that I was, for the first time, quite apprehensive. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.

She opened her mouth and spoke loudly over all the music and the chatter.

"Oh really, Melissa? I never knew that you're a lesbian! So, _that's_ why you haven't gone out with a guy for all these years! Because you wanted a _girl_friend!"

Everyone within ten feet radius of Rachel and me turned to look at us with an incredulous expression. Marlene and Mary were sniggering at my mortified-cum-shocked expression. I wanted to absolutely kill Rachel right now. Then bring her back to life and kill her again. And _again_.

But more than that I wanted to blend into the wall and never be seen again.

I wished I could turn myself into a tea-cup or something. Only if I didn't suck at Transfiguration.

Ugh!

I could feel the heat creeping into my face and hear the muttering of everyone around as they continued to gape at me.

See, that is why I avoid confrontation. It's so easy to win if you keep quiet and look contemptuous. It makes others think that public humiliation doesn't affect you at all. It makes you feel superior.

And I'm no good at arguments. If you have been practicing being a mute for about two years, that happens.

Just as I was wishing that lightning would strike me or the ground would engulf me if I stared at my heels long enough, I heard a male voice say in outrage, "How can you spread such lies, Jackson? Of course she's not a lesbian!"

My head snapped up at the voice of my best friend. Jatin Patil. My saviour! I could hug him to death right now. I felt so grateful as I beamed up at him, that I didn't even notice when he slung an arm over my shoulder. He was looking at Rachel with disbelief and outrage etched over his face. However, my gratitude quickly vanished when I heard his next words.

"Did you say that because you were jealous?" he proceeded to roll his eyes. "For Merlin's sake, Rachel! I've told you hundreds of times before! My heart only belongs to Lisa, my girlfriend." With that, he grabbed my chin and planted a kiss on my mouth. I gasped in shock and he pulled back, beaming.

What. The. Hell?

I stealthily wiped my mouth in disgust.

There was silence for a few seconds, except the sound of music and I could practically feel the heat radiating from a livid Rachel. Then, she turned on her heel and stormed off with Mary and Marlene following her. A few people laughed, while I tried to arrange my face like this wasn't news to me.

Very Big and Unwanted News.

As people turned back to themselves, gossiping about this latest development (probably, how Rachel 'likes' Jatin or how That Evil Girl is Jatin's 'girlfriend'), Jatin, my 'boyfriend', grabbed my arm and muttered, "Oh, let's get out of here." And without another glance in my direction, he steered me out of the door.

Now, let me tell you this. Jatin is an excellent actor. He can lie to you with such conviction, that even if you _know_ the truth, you will be forced to double-check it.

I discovered his 'abilities' in the third year at Hogwarts, when I had received a 'P' on my Transfiguration test and McGonagall had been scolding me. Jatin had come to my rescue and told her in a sombre voice, that even I almost believed, that I had been distraught because my grandmother had passed away. This was amusing, because I had never had any grandparents and even McGonagall knew it. But Jatin's hitherto unsuspected acting skills had resulted in a temporary lapse in her memory. She had looked horrified and had consoled me. All of it would have worked, if I hadn't burst out laughing in front of the whole class. Jatin and I got two weeks' worth of detention. Needless to say, Jatin never came to my rescue in front of Minerva McGonagall again.

My respect for Jatin had risen considerably after that; for, in my opinion anybody who can lie to McGonagall deserves it.

But his current stunt of acting had me less than impressed. He dragged me outside, wending his way between drunken teenagers, while I tried to cool my anger. It was a futile effort.

When we finally reached the decorated grounds of Potter Manor, Jatin removed his grip on my arm and turned to me grinning, his white teeth glinting in the moonlight and the light from the live fairies in the rose bushes.

"Now, how awesome was that, huh?" he said, obviously pleased at having fooled a dozen people at once. He sounded like Black. Which did nothing to improve my temper.

I scowled up at him. "What _was_ that?" I exclaimed angrily. "Your girlfriend? Your flippin' girlfriend! Really, _Patil_?"

He frowned, obviously confused by my reaction. "I just saved you from public humiliation! You should have seen yourself. Staring at your shoes while your face matched the colour of your dress." He paused, as I scowled more fiercely. "It was practically a confession! If it wasn't for my awesome acting skills, your romantic life would have been doomed! At least you have a boyfriend now." He added as an afterthought.

I hit him on the arm ("Ow!") "That's all very well. But you know what this means, don't you? The guy I _do_ want to get involved with won't be with me because he thinks I'm your ruddy girlfriend!"

Ugh! Ugh! Now James Potter would never be mine. He would go marry the Devil Incarnate and have twelve kids; while _she_ presides over the huge Potter Manor...

He scoffed. "Yeah, right. As if Potter would want anything to do with Voldy's daughter anyway."

His voice was teasing, but for the first time I was hurt by his brutal honesty. I shouldn't have, but I was. Because it was true.

I turned away, ignoring the clenching of my throat. Jatin wasn't exactly known for his subtlety and I didn't want him pointing out that James Potter wouldn't look at me twice.

"Hey, I was only pointing out Potter is blind," he said loudly, hugging me from behind. "For not being able to see the prettiest girl at Hogwarts. The scariest. The craziest." I elbowed him in the gut. "No, that would be me. The craziest guy, not girl, obviously."

"Oh, shut it," I said, but wasn't able to keep the grin from spreading across my face. I knew I was none of those things. Pretty. That's a laugh. I was average. Much too average. Brown hair, brown eyes, average height. Sometimes I wondered how people were able to remember my face.

A sudden revelation struck me.

I turned towards Jatin, who was looking at me like I was going to cry any second. I shrugged it off. Usually, I wasn't able to guess what was going on in Jatin's mind. Well, nobody was, come to that.

"Dorcas," I said softly, placing my hand over his shoulder. "What happened to Dorcas?"

He sighed. And I hated myself. Here I was ranting about James Potter, when something had obviously gone wrong with him and Dorcas. I was _such_ a lousy friend for forgetting about him.

But, sometimes in Jatin's company, you got carried away. I think it was because he hardly ever spoke about himself.

"Well, you know, we snogged," he said matter-of-factly, refusing to look at me. "And after that she said that she um...wasn't interested in me. Said she liked somebody else."

I felt my jaw drop. Who would have thought that Dorcas Meadows was such a slag! I mean, she _snogged _men before telling them she wasn't interested. Or that she would turn out to be this thick? Because in all honesty, you _had_ to be thick to not like Jatin back. He was tall and dark with perfectly chiselled features. Handsome, I mused. Plus, he was popular, being on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. If I didn't think of him in a strictly platonic way, I would have considered myself extremely lucky.

"She...she assaulted you!" I heard myself splutter, having regained my ability to speak. He took one amused look at me, and then burst out laughing.

"Assaulted? Really, Lis?" he said grinning.

"You know what I mean!" I said indignantly. "How could she _not_ like you? I mean, who is this man who is better than you, anyways? _I _don't know one." I huffed angrily.

Jatin looked pleased. "Really?" he said quietly.

Then, without waiting for a response, he regained his boisterous manner. "It wasn't like that. It was just a spur-of-the-moment act, you know?" his face took a dreamy expression. I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "She even said I was a little insane."

I laughed in amusement. Only Jatin would be pleased on being called insane.

"And Lis?"

"What?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Don't do that again," he stated with a straight face.

"Do what?"

"Raise your eyebrows," he replied. "It makes you look like a gawking owl."

I huffed in annoyance as he laughed. Of course I knew about my weird facial expressions. It was a bummer all right. Imagine being unable to look questioning or narrow your eyes. It would be so irritating, right? _That's_ what I go through! So I have every right to say, _"Oh, woe is me!"_

"Moving on," said Jatin, finally having sobered up. "I have some good news for you," he said in a sing-song voice.

I looked at him questioningly, resisting the urge to raise my eyebrows.

"Evans dumped his drink on Potter before I came to look for you." He informed me. "And I heard him say afterwards that he might 'lay off Evans a bit and get himself another girl'."

I gaped at him. "Really? You're not pulling my leg, are you?" I asked suspiciously.

"Of course, not!" he said, his eyes widening innocently. It was difficult to decide whether he was acting or not. "And who knows? This—," he said pointing at each of us, "—might make him jealous."

"So, you are not trying to make Dorcas jealous, are you?" I asked shrewdly.

"Psh! Of course not! I'm over Meadows." He said in a very believable way.

Yeah? And I'm in love with Sirius Black.

"I just did this for you," he added.

I resisted pointing out that James knew me as the Devil's spawn, as _he_ had pointed out, so was unlikely to be jealous (more like shocked or disgusted); but it seemed he surmised as much from my glum expression, because he said in a placating way, "Look, I'm sure people would have forgotten this by now. One, most of them are drunk. And two, it's not _that_ big of a news." I highly doubted that, as students of Hogwarts had photographic memory when it came to gossip. "Besides," he continued, grinning now. "That one kiss was more than enough for me. I think I'll have to wash my mouth now."

I hit him playfully, smiling. "I didn't even kiss you back; it was _you_ who shoved himself all over me. It's me who will have to take a bath!"

He laughed, and then grinned evilly. "Aw," he said spreading his arms wide and stepping towards me. "Don't be like that, love."

With that, he flung himself over me before I had a chance to escape and pulled me into a bone cracking hug. I screamed and tried to wriggle out. But, he just tightened his hold on me and chuckled, his laugh rumbling through his chest. Evil Jatin. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. But I loved him all the same. What would I have done without him, I had no idea. And even though he _seemed_ to be happy right now, I knew better. He wouldn't have hugged me if he didn't feel miserable; wouldn't have laughed; wouldn't have acted like he didn't care, because he _knew_ I would be miserable in turn.

I hugged him tighter revelling in the moment. What had I done to deserve such a good friend? I honestly didn't deserve him...

I heard someone clearing his throat pointedly nearby and we turned in one to look at the ugliest creature to defile earth- Sirius Black.

But of course, that was exactly how I had gotten my best friend. Because of the one Sirius Black standing in front of us right now.


	3. Chappie the Third

**Disclaimer:**** Nuh. Uh.**** Not mine. But not yours either :P**

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><p><strong>Sirius 'oh-I'm-so-suave' *gag* Black<strong>

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><p><em>"No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge."<em>  
><strong><strong><em>- Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling<em>****

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><p><em><strong>Sirius<strong>_

I was bored out of my mind right now.

Completely bored.

Utterly-freaking bored.

How does 'utterly-freaking' go together anyway? Hmm...'utterly-freaking.' Sounds kind of poetic, doesn't it? No?

Humph!

.

Wait, now I'm talking to myself! I swear to Merlin this party is driving me nuts. The clear fact that I'm _not_ enjoying this party is pretty weird in itself.

Freaky, in fact.

Or are they the same words? 'Freaky' and 'weird'? No, obviously they are different words, duh; what I meant was, they mean the same thing, don't they?

.

Great. Now I'm so bored that I'm turning into a bloody dictionary!

I huffed loudly, but Moony paid no attention. He continued to talk to...um...some girl.

.

What? Do you expect me to remember every girl's name? I've a reputation, after all. Although, I'm pretty sure she's in our house. Uh... whatever.

.

Did someone slip me a Babbling potion today? Even though I'm only babbling inside my mind. It's possible...

I sighed impatiently again but my 'friend' Moony seemed oblivious to his 'friend's' distress. Even though I knew that he could hear me perfectly well.

Bloody werewolf and his bloody sensitive hearing.

I personally envy him. I would never tell _him_ that, of course; it would be a sure way of getting him emotional. Still, not to worry, James, Peter and I will be Animagi soon and our senses will rival his! I personally want to be a dog. Much cooler than a wolf. I would be able to roam around the school without getting caught. Ahh...think of the possibilities.

I mentally stuck out my tongue at the back of his head. No, I couldn't _actually_ do it. I like being alive, thank you very much. It was only three days since the last full moon. Who knew what he was capable of right now?

.

Actually, I knew. Believe me I had stuck my tongue out at him _when he wasn't looking_ once before and he had made sure I'll never do it again. Werewolves are freaky, I tell you. The memory of that day still makes me wince...

I looked around the hall to shake the extremely painful memory away. There seemed to be some sort of commotion at the opposite side. Probably some drunken fight, I mused. Thankfully, James' parents, being Aurors, were away on a mission or they would have eaten him alive. I had half a mind to go and join the fight, if there was one, just to escape this boredom and Moony and his love-interest's endless talk about Merlin knows what.

But I stopped myself and slumped against the wall. I didn't feel like it today.

Seriously, _what was wrong with me today? _Maybe I had had too much to drink.

I looked around again.

I had no idea where Peter was.

And James was probably following his 'red haired, green eyed angel'. I had truthfully pointed it out to him once that Evans was as much of an angel as Snape, seeing she spent a couple of hours a day shrieking at him. The expression on his face had been priceless. He had stubbornly insisted that she was a 'feisty angel'. We had laughed ourselves silly. Trust James to come up with something so ridiculous. I grinned at the memory.

A moment later I felt like an utter fool. _Fantastic_. Now, I was turning into one of those nostalgic old men who had nothing better to do than relate anecdotes from their past. Did that mean I was turning old? Oh no! _That's_ why girls weren't looking my way today! Oh no again! My handsome face—

"Calm down, Sirius. You aren't turning old," said Peter's voice from beside me. I looked around and sure enough, there was Peter sipping Gillywater and looking at me with raised eyebrows. How that guy can drink and speak at the same time, I'll never know...

"Those girls aren't flinging themselves at you because I spread the rumour that you've a nasty bout of flu. They think they might catch it too, if they went near you," he continued calmly, while my mouth hung open at him. "You told us yesterday how irritating it was, didn't you?" he looked suddenly anxious.

I was at a loss of words. How could _Peter_, of all people, tell what I was thinking? Was he a Legimens? His grades suggested otherwise...

And no! It's _not_ because I often fret about my looks!

.

All right, I may fret _a little bit_. But it's not like I need to; one smile and I have you charmed...

Peter was still looking at me anxiously. "Yes I did, Pete. Thanks a lot, mate."

He beamed up at me. It didn't take a lot to make him happy. And he tried his best to keep us all happy. This is why we all loved him. He was such a loyal friend.

"Hey Peter!" I heard a voice call. A blonde girl, who I knew was in Gryffindor in our year, was making her way among the horde of people.

What was her name, again? Ah...yes. MacDonald.

"Hey Mary!" called back Peter. She stopped five feet away from us, looking at me apprehensively.

Huh?... Oh yeah, the flu. I faked a cough, just to do it properly. She looked at me with pity.

"Are you alright, Sirius?" she asked in a high pitched voice that almost made me cringe. But, I just winked at her; she blushed. Ah... the effect I have on women...

"Yeah, I'll be okay in a few days, Mary dearest." I said with an exaggerated sniff. I heard Moony laugh from behind me and distinctly heard him mutter, "You sound like my mother. _Mary dearest_?" I ignored him like _he had ignored me_.

"I hope you get well soon, Siri," she said sympathetically. I shuddered at the stupid nickname. This time there was no mistaking Moony's snigger. I'll get back at him later on. Probably by stealing his chocolate bars...

Yes, I'm evil. But Moony is a hundred times more so. You haven't heard him plotting those pranks, so you won't know. I, for one, have no idea how people call him the 'innocent' marauder.

Brainwashed, they are.

Probably if I practice my 'innocent' look like Moony...

"Won't you catch the flu, Peter?" Mary was asking, looking between us. Enough with the Spanish Inquisition already!

"Um... I – I am immune," said Peter nervously, his eyes darting everywhere. I held back a laugh. I wonder how they even _believed_ Peter's rumours. Desperate as the crowd of Hogwarts is for gossip, the fact remained that the guy was such a bad liar.

Hmm... Mary had turned back to Peter and was batting her eyelashes at him.

"Oh, alright. Can I talk to you alone for a mo', Peter?" she asked in a sweet voice. I felt my jaw hang open.

Peter had turned pink. "O-of course, Mary," he stammered and followed her with a dumbstruck look on his face.

When they had gone, I turned back to the couple and slumped against the wall again. Something was definitely wrong with the world today. Peter was getting a girl. I was alone. And Moony was— well, Moony.

I grunted this time (what was with me and weird noises?) to catch Mr. Lupin's attention.

It didn't.

Though, it _did_ catch the girl's attention. A normal person would have probably looked at me like I was mad. Or had _I_ been a normal person, I would have gotten weird looks. But yours truly _was_ Sirius Black and this _was_ a girl, so she simply giggled, looking at me with wide eyes. I swear, what's it with girls and giggling?

I shot her my most charming smile, which of course, Remus noticed.

I quickly backed away a few steps. I had good reason, you see. Moony was sending me his 'if-you-don't-have-a-girl-to-snog-leave-mine-the-hell-alone' glare. Yes, it's quite a long glare.

And effective, I daresay.

"Let's go get something to drink. Shall we, Dorcas?" he said to the girl. The girl nodded, smiling up at him and with one last warning glance in my direction, Moony and his love-interest walked away. I remembered the girl-slash-Moony-the-weird's-love-interest's name now. Dorcas Meadows.

Oh well. What could I say to him? This was _his_ party after all. Moony, the prefect's party. That's right, boys and girls. For the first time in the history of Hogwarts...*drum roll please*... a _Marauder_ had become a prefect! I personally think Minnie's gone bonkers. After _all_ the pranks we had played, she made Moony a prefect. Moony thought it was 'to exercise control over my idiotic and childish friends'. Hah! As if!

That was a laugh! Moony would as soon act responsibly as um...Kent would ever speak a word in public.

I looked around for the billionth time in the past two hours because I had nothing better to do. And because I was alone.

Moony wasn't good company today, but at least he was _some_ company.

Touchy werewolf.

Maybe he was still sulking over the fact that we had forcibly doused him in Holy Water last night. It was a Muggle thing that Peter suggested. Just to make sure our Moony doesn't go over to the dark side and stop playing pranks or something, now that he is a prefect. We had to be certain...

Realising that standing alone was _not_ cool for a Marauder; I trudged through the crowd to find James. Even he, with his Lily-Evans-is-so-beautiful-and-perfect chat, was bound to be more fun, right?

I was wrong. Luck was _so_ not on my side today.

As I wended my way among the chatting, dancing crowd, and in one case, a shouting Rachel Jackson, who looked extremely angry, I noticed that the crowd quickly dispersed for me. Most of the girls looked sympathetic, or simply giggled (giggled? really?), but merely from afar.

I mentally thanked Peter. I was in no mood to be surrounded by irritating, giggling girls today.

.

Remember when I said somebody must have slipped me a Babbling Potion? Scratch that. Someone must have slipped me the 'Essence of Insanity'.

As I searched the hall vainly for a mass of untidy black or vivid red hair, because Jamesie was bound to be where Evans was, I felt an arm drop across my shoulder.

Turning around, I sighed in relief. "Hey, James, buddy! Thank Merlin I found you. You –,"

I stopped talking when I looked at his face. It wasn't the usual sickeningly love-struck or goofy look he had on his face after talking to Evans.

"She hates me," he said in a flat voice, very unlike his own. I winced. I didn't like this.

"What did she do this time?" I said sympathetically.

"Dumped her drink on me," he said in the same voice. Well, that was new.

"Why does she hate me?" he said desperately to me, his eyes begging. "Why does she prefer _Snivellus_ over me?"

"I don't know mate," I said quietly to him. I hated what Lily Evans had done to my best mate. I hated that she had so much control over him. I hated that she liked _Snivellus_ more. But most of all, I was scared. I didn't want _this_ to happen to me. To be so vulnerable. It had happened before. My family. But they had broken me. I had vowed it would never happen again.

* * *

><p>"I knew this party was a waste of time," I told James. We had escaped the dumb party and were making our way through the huge front doors to the lighted lawns, or at least <em>I<em> was walking while dragging James with me. I had no idea how he had gotten so drunk.

No, actually I knew. Upset over Lily Evans.

James _giggled_. You know how alcohol brings out the worst in you? "Siri-poo thinks parties are a waste of time! That's a first! What will your lovely fans say?" he said in mock horror.

I shot him a dark look as he stumbled along with me. "We could have been researching Animagi, actually—,"

I stopped myself in horror. Did I _seriously_ say that, just now?

"The Sirius Black wanting to _study_ instead of partying?"James only looked bemused. "Your fan-girls would have run away screaming by now."

"Or simply swooned," I said confidently. "Seeing the suave Sirius Black in new light."

James muttered something that I couldn't catch. Then I heard a light snore.

I caught him before he hit the ground. Bloody hell! What does this kid eat? For a scrawny fifteen year old, he weighs like 200 pounds!

"James!" I said loudly in exasperation. "I didn't know you were _this_ drunk! Wake up, you git!"

He simply snored loudly, leaning precariously against me. I stumbled back. "How the hell am I supposed to take you back up all those stairs?"

Wow, thanks a lot James. This is exactly what was missing from this horrible evening. I could have carried him if there weren't all those horrible stairs before the front door. Water. That's what I needed to wake him up. Though knowing James, I doubted it would wake him if I dumped a whole bucket on him.

Still, I shoved him on a wooden bench. I straightened up; looking around for the fountain that I knew was nearby somewhere. I had only spent the holidays with the Potters this year for the first time because my mother was having some 'esteemed guests'.

Old hag. Oh, how I pitied Regulus. So, she had decided that it was 'good riddance' if I went away, because she knew how rude I could be to those pureblood maniacs.

Now where was the ruddy fountain? Maybe I should just go and get Moony, if he doesn't kill me first...

I sighed in relief as I spotted a dark shadow nearby. Taking in its height and width, I was pretty sure it was a guy. Approaching the broad figure, I realised it wasn't a person, but two in fact, in a close embrace. Aw...how romantic! _Not_.

I sniggered as the couple leapt apart on my cough. I recognised the guy. Patil, the beater on Ravenclaw Quidditch team. I mentally thanked my luck for the first time. Imagine if it had been that pompous Amos Diggory...

I looked at the girl. She was pretty average. Dark hair and dark eyes. The kind that your eyes would slide over in a crowd without noticing. Her eyes were currently narrowed in anger. Figures. I spoiled her 'romantic moment'. Pfft!

But why did she look vaguely familiar again?

"Well, hey Patil!" I said cheerfully. There was nothing like interrupting couples to cheer me up.

He didn't say anything, merely looked at me, smiling. Seriously, that smile was starting to creep me out. It looked _evil_.

"Well," I said, making another stab at conversation. "Sorry to interrupt your...uh..._cosy_ moment; but I needed some help."

Again, he didn't reply.

That didn't dissuade me because this guy is a bit mad. _And_ he can lie like hell. There was this one time in the second year, when we were sneaking into the Quidditch storeroom—

.

Oops, I spaced out. Patil still had that smile on his face. I glanced at the girl and stepped back in horror. She was looking at me with a superbly contemptuous look on her face, a very _familiar_ disdainful look.

I had recognised her.

It was Kent! Um... I don't know her first name. But that doesn't matter! She is the most infuriating person on this planet!

One— she never speaks a word to anybody. At least, I haven't heard her talking. Ever. And it's not in that adorable shy way. If somebody talks to her, she looks at them like they are an insect or something. Like they are unworthy of Miss High and Mighty's notice.

Two— she doesn't have a heart. She should have been in Slytherin. Enough said.

.

Three— she hurt James.

A lot. It's her fault. And she doesn't even care. She must have forgotten by now, of course. Just like James, Evans and everyone else has forgotten.

But I won't forget. And I would keep trying to hurt her just as much.

She is a heartless bitch. Sometimes I wonder she isn't a Death Eater.

Now I know what you all are saying. _Isn't that a bit extreme?_ Not at all. You should see her face. It's like she's going to murder everyone in the vicinity and cackle evilly, dancing over their bodies...

Um, maybe that _is_ a tad bit exaggeration. Oh, well...

Make her life hell. That's been my motto for the last two years.

Not that I haven't tried. I started all those silly rumours about her being a descendent of Voldemort. I had never known it would blow so much out of proportion. Every first year actually believes those lies! The rest just use that to tease her. But those still don't bother her! I haven't been able to break her. Every time I make fun of her and taunt her; she just stands there with that cool and haughty expression on her face. She might not speak a word; but her face screams— "You'll never win."

Which brings me to Reason Four— I hate losing. And I'll keep trying until I win.

Kent. I growled.

She laughed. It wasn't an actual laugh. It was bitter and sarcastic. Cold. I just glared at her. Patil _still_ had that creepy smile. Only this time I understood it's meaning— "And why would _we _help _you_?" I had never known he didn't like me. Mind you, I hadn't even known he was friends with the she-devil, so I can't talk.

"James is out cold on that bench," I talked only to Patil, trying to guilt him into helping. "And I need to get him up those stairs."

"James?" I heard Kent squeak. I turned to her and my eyes went wide with shock. She looked _concerned_.

"Potter to you, Kent." I spat with narrowed eyes. "And what are _you_ doing here? Gate-crashing a party?"

I waited for her usual scornful look to return.

It didn't.

Instead she looked amused. _Amused!_ It made her look vaguely attractive.

A moment later, I was disgusted with myself.

"As a matter of fact I am," she said quite calmly, while I gawped at her. I seemed to be doing that a lot today. "Oh, I had it totally planned out. Sabotaging your party and taking everyone down. Then I would do some voodoo spells being the evil witch that I am," she was pretty good at sarcasm. I had never seen her like _this_ before.

"Oh dearest Lis!" Patil spoke up cheerily. "You forgot about the human flesh eating ritual! That's our favourite part. Remember last year with that Mathew kid? Poor dear, he actually fainted before we had even started."

Patil actually looked dreamy. Very convincingly dreamy. If I hadn't known the truth, I might actually have believed him.

I just about gagged.

"You two are disgusting." I spoke coolly. "Well, I wouldn't expect anything from the Devil's Spawn. No wonder, the only person who talks to you is somebody who's a nuttier than Dragon dung."

I instantly knew I had done the right thing.

Kent looked furious. I smirked in the rightful satisfaction that I had finally gained a response from her.

Patil murmured something to her that I didn't hear. Surprising. I didn't think he could speak in a low voice.

She clutched Patil's hand, who looked gleeful (talk about barkin' mad), and spat, "Well, being busy personalities, we've somewhere else to be. Some other evil plans to plot."

"Obviously," I muttered, ignoring her sarcasm.

"Good Luck with your precious Potter," she said in a simpering voice and a nasty grin. "And if you get a letter from the Ministry in a few minutes for improper use of magic, don't blame us if you don't want his parents to know you threw a party."

Before I even had time to blink, she had whipped out her wand and sent a spell at me. I yelled in surprise as it hit me. I looked at myself frantically.

Whole of my body had turned pink.

I'm going to _kill_ her.

Looking up, I realised both of them had vanished.

I think my heart must have stopped beating for a second. Then my face broke out into a wide, triumphant grin.

I broke her.

Well, not exactly.

I got a reaction out of her.

She got _affected_. By something _I_ said.

And this is just the beginning.

.

On the down side though, this proves she is human. There go my suspicions about her being a troll...

Now about this underage magic...

We are _so_ dead.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Melissa<strong>_

"How dare he!" I shouted to the sky, clutching Jatin's hand tightly. "How dare he ask for our help! My help! After everything he's done! What does he expect? That arrogant fool! I HATE HIM!"

I stopped my ranting, breathing heavily. Jatin was quiet. I glanced at him pointedly. "Here's the part where you're supposed to say—'I know. He's an arrogant, stuck-up prat'."

To my immense disbelief, Jatin's face broke out into a large grin. "You sound like Evans," he said cheerfully.

He's mad; it's official.

I blanched. "No! That's the worst insult ever!" I exclaimed up at him. "Don't. Say. That. Ever. Again." I told him fiercely.

"I'm surprised at you actually," he said ignoring my previous request.

"Wrong, again! Here's the part where you're supposed to say— 'I swear on my prefect's badge that I'll never ever put you through that torture Lis."

"You gave up a chance to help your James!" he said, _again_ ignoring me.

"If to help James, I would have to bow before that— that _creature_, then I'm sorry." I said a bit glumly. Stupid Black. "I'd rather die. Or kill him." Good thought.

"But you could have carried James darling, tucked him in his bed and kissed him goodnight!" he exclaimed in a very girly voice that reminded me of MacDonald. "And then he would have woken up and realised that you are his one true love and not Evans!"

I hit him. "Stop pulling my leg. I don't love him. It's just a stupid crush."

A very huge stupid crush.

"But did you see his face when you actually replied?" Jatin continued with absolute relish. "He was gawping like a fish. Bet his fan-club wouldn't find _that_ attractive."

I snorted. I doubted there was anything about Sirius 'oh-I'm-so-suave'*gag*Black that his fan-club wouldn't find attractive.

"And that spell was wicked" he continued. "Though, it was my ingenious idea. It's a good thing that Potter speaks a lot when drunk."

I laughed; thinking of Black at King's Cross tomorrow. Coloured in lovely pink.

He had had it coming. Nobody speaks ill of my best friend except me.

"And honestly, I didn't appreciate being compared to Dragon dung. I think he should know how it feels to wake up covered in that." He looked at me with an evil gleam in his eyes. _T__hat_ was never a good thing. Jatin's eye-gleam usually meant me doing something ridiculous and embarrassing and possibly life-threatening.

"You are a prefect." I reminded him, trying not to my apprehension show. "You'd still prank him?"

"Not me, honey. You," he said wickedly.

I groaned. I would rather not be caught by Black in his dormitory sprinkling dragon dung. The situation was so dangerous for me. But since when has Jatin ever cared about that? Fifth year at Hogwarts was going to be a long one.

We walked in silence. As luck would have it, Reg and I had shifted to Godric's Hollow this last month. Well, I was glad. For one, our old house had these killer stairs that had almost killed me. Literally. I had fallen face down them one night. I had had to spend a week at St. Mungo's. After that, fortunately, Reg had decided to buy a house here. She had been planning that for a while now.

And for another, James' house was just round the corner. I know, I know, I'm too much of a coward to confront him. But that doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy looking at him going down the street, with his usual confidence. His hazel eyes twinkling and his black hair messy...Mmm...

.

Sorry there, I got into full 'James is so dreamy' mode.

"You've changed, Lisa," said Jatin suddenly from beside me, interrupting our comfortable silence.

"What?"

"You've changed," he repeated simply. "Till last year, you were so— resigned. You'd let Black and Jackson pick on you; not saying a thing. It was almost as if you didn't _want_ it to change." He looked at me questioningly.

I didn't reply. Because I wasn't sure what had happened. It was true that I hadn't wanted anything to change. Like I said, I wasn't one for confrontations. I had never let Black get better of me until now. Or Rachel. So, how had they broken through my facade so easily today? I didn't like it. It felt too vulnerable. But I knew things were going to be different now. Rachel would obviously get back at me for ruining her 'perfect' reputation. Jatin too. But mostly me.

And I knew Black was going to give me hell.

"I like this new you," said Jatin quickly, mistaking my silence for hurt. "I would love to see you finally kicking Black's butt." He grinned.

I smiled back, but somehow I doubted that was possible.

I may not know much about Sirius Black, but of one thing I was certain.

Sirius Black hated losing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It's longer and much better :)**

**I think...**


	4. The Memory and The Stranger

**Disclaimer:**** The truth is out there. So :P**

* * *

><p><strong>The Memory and The Stranger<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Walter Winchell<strong>  
>A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>You have got to come to Hogsmeade!" Dorcas said excitedly.<em>

"_Obviously," I replied, equally excited. "I've heard there's this shop- Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop- where they've got self spelling ink!"_

"_Honeydukes is the best; Alice was telling me. They have got shelves upon shelves of sweets!" she continued, eating her toast._

_Whole of the great Hall was filled with an excited chatter. It was the first Hogsmeade trip of the semester. The third years were practically bouncing in their seats. As was I._

"_Oh, hurry up!" I groaned._

_Dorcas laughed. "Calm down, Lisa! Filch will not open the gates until two hours later."_

"_It's still two hours to go?" I exclaimed. "You said that half an hour ago!"_

_Dorcas rolled her eyes. She did that a lot in my presence_._ I understood it as a sign of affection. "I said that exactly ten minutes ago."_

_I huffed and picked up a piece of toast too. "Anyway, Lily and Mary aren't down yet and they'd murder us if we ditch them."_

_I felt my excitement drain out faster than a Cleansweep. Um, ouch?_

_Dorcas glanced at me as my fork clattered to the table. Then her eyes widened in realisation._

"_Oh." Was that the best she could come up with? "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Lisa, really. But I seriously forgot." Oh, yeah? Well it would have been nice to be forewarned that this day was meant to be horrible. "Look, I know you don't like them." Damn right. "But could you please be nice to them? For just one day? For me?" She gave me a wide-eyed pleading look which she knew I couldn't resist. _

"_Oh, all right." I said, finally. "But if your best friend gets sent to Azkaban for two brutal murders, don't mope."_

_She grinned in relief._

"_But next Hogsmeade weekend, you're going with me. Alone."_

"_Deal." She said happily. "I don't know why you don't like them, though." She ignored my pointed expression and went on earnestly. "Lily's really nice, you know." Well, I couldn't possibly tell Dor that I was jealous of The Lily Evans, could I? "And Mary may seem a bit...er rude, but she's really sweet." Oh, yeah? Just don't come to me when she backstabs you._

_But I didn't say anything, of course. As always. _

"_Shouldn't _Lily_ be going with Se-Snape?" I asked suddenly, eyeing the pallid boy sitting at the Slytherin table. "Isn't he her best friend or something?"_

"_Well, Mary convinced her to come with us." Ugh!_

"_What about Alice?" It would be good to be able to talk to at least one person._

"_Don't you know?" she said in her 'gossip' voice. "She's going with Frank Longbottom. That Ravenclaw fourth year!"_

"_Oh."_

_I pushed my plate away, not feeling hungry anymore. Dorcas didn't seem to notice. _Obviously_._

_She was so clueless most of the times. She failed to see the real Mary. She failed to see if I was upset or happy or bored. But I suppose she had a kind heart. That's why she was my best friend._

_I glanced at the Slytherin table again and saw Snape getting up._

"_I'm going to catch up with Snape." I told Dor, getting up as well._

_She looked at me weirdly. "You mean tease him till he hexes you?"_

_I laughed, suddenly happy. "Details!" I waved my hand. "See you at 10!"_

_She smiled and nodded and I skipped up to dearest Snape who was apparently walking back to the dungeons._

"_Hey, Sev!" I called, bouncing on my toes. I laughed when he turned around whipping out his wand, his face expressionless._

"_So," I said, ignoring his wand. "How are you, Sev darling?"_

"_Don't call me that." He said coldly._

"_Sevvy, then?" I asked innocently, taking his other hand. He jumped back immediately._

"_No." I inwardly grinned at how petulant he sounded._

"_Aw, come on, Sevvy-poo!" I said batting my eyelashes. He looked cool as ever, his dark eyes devoid of emotion._

_I dropped the facade._

"_Who are you going to Hogsmeade with?" I asked in a normal tone._

_He glanced around for some reason; but there was nobody there. "Nobody."_

_His blank expression didn't waver a bit._

_Zero._

_Zilch._

_Nada._

_Nuh. Uh._

_You get the idea._

_I felt irritated and disappointed all in one._

"_Alright, then." I said. "Will you go with me? Or I will be ab-so-lute-ly alone." I lied. Who cares? Better to get out of a whole day trip with Evans._

_He observed me for a few seconds as I found myself painfully hoping._

"_No." His voice was harsh for the first time. I cringed. Without another glance in my direction, he swept away, his cloak flapping madly behind him. I just stared. There went my day._

_Little though I knew, that the worst day of my life had just started._

I woke up in cold sweat. For as long as I could remember I always woke up suddenly, my eyes flapping open and me sitting up straight in my bed. A faint light filtered in through the curtains. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It was only 8. I would not be at King's Cross until three hours later.

I sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair. I had dreamed about that day. Finally, after so many months of suppressing that memory, it had leaked out through my unconscious thoughts. And it had left me shaken. I cringed at the memory of the dream—the happiness, the excitement, the naivety. I had been so innocent back then.

Dorcas. I was surprised I didn't feel anything towards my ex-best friend. No pain, despair or even anger. No hatred. No love. Just – nothing. Indifference. Well, that was a good thing, I thought. Not feeling. Perhaps, someday I'll even be grateful for that day. Because that day I had gotten my true best friend. I remembered the date. October, the 20th, 1972.

I felt strange, to say the least. The humiliation was there, it was always there. I remembered feeling like I was in a dream; everything that day had felt so surreal.

But now I felt a nagging feeling in my head; like I was missing...an...important clue. That's it! Like there was something missing from my memory. It felt incomplete. It was disorienting, to say the least. I couldn't say _what _was missing. As far as I remembered, everything was emblazoned in my brain in painful detail. Much, much deeper than I wanted it to be.

This must have something to do with feeling sleepy, I finally decided.

I massaged my forehead, willing the thoughts to go away. Instead I tried to focus on inanimate things—my bathroom door, my walls covered with pictures of me and Jatin making weird faces. I laughed fondly at the recent one in which Reg was shrieking behind us as we shoved pie in each others' faces.

Staying with Jatin over the holidays had been bliss. I had been so relieved when his mother had given him permission to stay with us. Reg had been very sceptical at first, seeing that Jatin was a boy; but he had slowly grown on her. I could tell. His crazy antics never failed to make me laugh and I swear I had seen Reg with an amused smirk on her face after she was done scolding us. And I was grateful. Reg had been too busy these holidays to keep me company and Jatin was an excellent one.

It had never been like this at Hogwarts. I almost didn't want to leave, as I thought of Black, Rachel and their gang awaiting me.

I pushed myself off my bed. I had always been a morning person, much to the frustration of my dorm-mates for the first two years at Hogwarts. Walking to the mirror, I glanced at my image. It had changed drastically since that eventful day. My dark brown hair fell lank just beyond my shoulders and my eyes were dull and blank. I was a different person all together. Even when I was the happiest I could be, I couldn't change _this_. I had a slightly haunted look about me now.

The thing that was different from last night was something I had recently acquired. It was a bright red scar running almost horizontally across my forehead and disappearing into my hairline. The healers had said it would fade slowly. Apparently I had fallen down the stairs and hit my head on the edge of one, cracking open my skull. To be honest, I couldn't remember much about it. Just the fact that I had woken up late at night. It was blank from there on, which I suspected had something to do with sleep-walking. Reg had told me that I had probably woken for a glass of water and fell down.

I had hidden it last night with magical make-up, but I figured it was too much to bother about everyday. It wasn't as if anybody at school would care that I had almost killed myself.

I tied my hair up, which completely revealed the hideous scar, and glanced around. Everything on my table was perfectly arranged. My trunk had been thoroughly packed last night, just like every year. I straightened a few things on my table. Perfect. Now I just had to make my bed.

I loved keeping my things orderly. I wasn't like one of those kids whose room was always in a mess. In fact, my room was always tidy. Reg sometimes said I had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Maybe she was right. I was depressed enough.

I made my way to the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

><p>I slowly made my way downstairs, humming a tune. The Catapulting Down the Stairs Incident, as I called it, was still fresh in my mind and I had no desire to repeat the experience.<p>

"Reggie Reggie Reg!" I sang in my rare moments of happiness. Of course, home was the only place where I had been truly happy. I suppose I had been happy at Hogwarts a long time ago, maybe as an overexcited naive first year, but obviously I didn't remember it.

A very, very long time ago.

Isn't it funny how merely two years of solitude and despair can cloud a decade of happiness and sunshine and daisies... and whatever.

.

I just ruined that angst-y line; didn't I?

.

Still singing, I made my merry-way to the kitchen.

Where was Jatin? Probably outside chasing butterflies or something; you never knew it with him.

I stopped outside the kitchen door, which seemed to be locked. I stepped closer to the door, listening.

Low voices. I was confused. Did we have a guest? Because Jatin would never speak in a _low_ voice.

Crouching down on my knees, I pressed my ear against the keyhole as I heard a male timbre.

_Bad, bad Lisa_, my rational side scolded, sounding uncannily like Reg herself. But my curiosity was at its peak. Reg had never told me about a guy, so can you really blame me for eavesdropping?

_Yes_, said the irritatingly correct voice.

I ignored it, as I usually tend to do, which, in turn, tends to mess up my life.

But since my life was already messed up; I decided to go for it.

You must be wondering the length of my mental monologue over a little eavesdropping.

So, I'll enlighten you. Regina Kent was an Auror. Cool, right?

_No_.

She. Is. Frightening. Not always. She can be...erm..._normal_ and sweet if she wants to be, I guess. But, if you get on the wrong side of her, you are dead.

Not figuratively.

Or at least you wish you were dead instead of facing her wrath.

So there, for those of you who were wondering how the innocent looking girl was an Auror.

She's not a girl, per se. She's 35. Hmm, that means she's a woman. I never saw her that way though. In all honesty, she even looked like she was merely twenty. Merlin! How does anybody manage that? Oh, yes, I know. Magic. Gah! Sometimes I'm a little jealous of her. We look nothing alike. She has long silky black hair and deep blue eyes. She looks delicate, but she's tough, very tough.

Me? I don't know whether I get my genes from my mother or father. My mother died giving birth to me and my father died shortly afterwards, consumed by grief. I don't know much about them, apart from the fact that they were called Septimus Kent and Celia Kent and were both magical. Reg was my father's sister's cousin or something. Distant relationship, huh? Yet her last name was still Kent. Weird.

Reg was the only living relative I had in the magical community, so I was sent to her when she was only twenty. But it never bothered her, or so she had told me.

You can say I never bothered to find out about my parents. In all honesty, I wasn't curious. I was happy with Reg. Or as happy as I could be.

Back to my eavesdropping, I could hear the voice clearly. It was a low growl.

It was almost seductive...

.

Ugh! Don't tell me I just thought that!

Maybe my perverted side is finally making an appearance at fifteen...

Anyway, it was about time Reg got a guy. She didn't want to grow into an ugly old spinster like Delworth, now did she?

I pressed my ear to the keyhole, listening.

"...make sure she doesn't find out. Don't say anything that could trigger them," the voice was saying. "It could be dangerous—,"

"Yes, yes I know." Reg sounded impatient. "It was my idea too, remember? Merlin!"

"I'm just repeating the orders." The voice growled. "After the last leak, we can't but be extra careful."

"Have they found out yet? Who—,"

"No." The man sounded menacing. "Could be anyone. Always thought Dumbledore was too trusting. I personally have suspicions about that scum Fr—,"

"Don't. Say. It." Reg's voice was steely. "I trust Dumbledore and I trust him too. He would never sell any of us to Death Eaters."

I felt a trickle of fear down my back as I heard that. Death Eaters. Apparently, there was this evil Dark Wizard Voldemort (who was 'supposedly' my father. *Shudder*. Delusional students.) who wanted to kill all muggleborns and rule the world or something. Frightening, right? And he had his band of barmy followers called Death Eaters, as Reg had told me. That's why she was so busy these days. He was steadily gaining power and Aurors were being recruited more often than ever.

I wanted to back down, I really did. After all, this was private talk pertaining to her job.

But the next words had me glued to my spot.

"— she's been kept at Hogwarts," the man was saying. "So _that's_ out of the way."

"Good."

"Don't know how she's useful. Do you think she's involved—,"

"You're paranoid, Moody." Reg laughed. "Have you actually talked to her? She's clueless as a flobberworm." There was a pause, in which I was quite certain Moody was glaring daggers at Reg. I recognised the name, of course. He was one of the best Aurors out there; Reg always said so anyway.

"Need to be careful in times like these. It could be a cover-up—,"

"I _know_, Moody." Merlin, would they stop cutting each other off? I was rather intrigued. Who's been kept at Hogwarts? Must be some new student. "Sure you don't want to come over for a bit of tea?"

Come over? What did she—

Of course! They must be using the floo, I realised.

"There's no time," growled Moody. "Make sure to come over straight away, after sending them off. Though I'm not sure Hogwarts is safe this year, what wi—,"

Moody fell silent suddenly.

"Don't say that in front of me again, Moody." Reg sounded livid. Ouch. I was pretty sure her infamous temper was being directed at Moody right now. I was impressed. She seriously had some guts to silence one of the most respected Aurors.

Meanwhile, my insides were writhing. Who was at Hogwarts this year? Somebody, who Moody reckoned, was a danger? Well, I'll just have to be on the lookout for somebody new. A new _female_.

"Yes, of course. Are you going to—,"

But the rest of her sentence was cut off.

"There you are, Lisa!" boomed Jatin from behind me.

I jumped about a foot in air in shock. Thankfully, I did not crash into the kitchen door; or I would have been murdered by now.

I whirled around to see Jatin lounging against the wall, his hands in his pockets, and a grin on his face.

"What—," he started, but I made flappy gestures with my hands at him to hush him down. I knew what he was going to ask. No, shout was more like it.

Inside the kitchen, both of them had fallen silent. I moved away from the door; quickly but silently.

Merlin forbid if Reg finds me crouching against the door.

Jatin was grinning, as if he knew exactly what was on my mind. I wouldn't have been surprised if he did.

"Hey Jatin!" I said loudly, even though I was standing right next to him. He winced at the loud voice and pretended to clutch his heart in shock, his mouth agape. I rolled my eyes. Reg's footsteps her coming closer so I said loudly again, "I just came down too. So, are you um...ready?" I nearly bit my tongue off at the end.

Great tact, Lisa. We still had an hour and a half to get to King's Cross. Meaning plenty of time; considering Reg would just apparate us there.

I glanced at Jatin nervously. He had a look that clearly said, "You are, officially the worst actress of the century." I smiled sheepishly. That was true. You'd think that spending two years with Jatin would have rubbed off on me.

Thankfully, Jatin saved the day, as usual. Just before the kitchen door opened, he said, "You took your time coming down. Is the Great Gryffindor Girl scared of some silly stairs?"

Whoa. Some alliteration.

I scowled at him, hitting him on the arm. Which, in turn, made him grab me by the arms fling me over his shoulder.

"Jatin!" I shrieked, but he merely laughed. "Put me down!"

"You must be taught respect Missy!" he said pompously, in a very good impersonation of Amos Diggory according to me. "You just had audacity to touch Patil, the Prefect!"

"Patil, the Prat, more like." I muttered, my voice muffled by the backside of his shirt, ceasing my struggles. The guy was a Beater. There was no way I would be able to fight him.

"Jatin!"

No, it wasn't me. This was the shocked voice of Regina Kent. Jatin quickly pulled me down.

"Yes, Miss Kent?" he said innocently, as though he frequently carried girls on his shoulder.

I suppressed a giggle, covering it with a fake cough.

Reg looked even more shocked, and slightly suspicious; though for entirely different reasons than my eavesdropping.

Which is what Jatin had been aiming for in the first place.

Yes, he had a devious mind. I was _so_ proud of him.

"Yes, Reg?" I asked in the same voice as Jatin. He smiled proudly at me; apparently impressed by my 'innocent' tone.

She cringed at the nickname. She hated being called 'Reg'. Of course, that's why I called her that.

"What are you two doing?" she still sounded suspicious, her hands on her hips.

I recognised the 'Mother' mode.

I opened my mouth to reply how Jatin had attacked me, but he beat me to it.

"I'm afraid, Miss Kent, that your niece is simply evil," he began solemnly while I openly stared at him, not believing he was actually saying this. "I was merely telling her how she should not thunder down the stairs, considering her recent accident—," he looked so...so _innocent_, that I would have been surprised if Reg hadn't believed him. Damn him and his acting prowess. "But she simply refused to listen to me and hit me instead! Me! Who cares for her well-being!" he said this as if I had committed the most heinous crime in the world. "And she has quite a hand, Miss. She sure takes after you. Do you train her in self defence?"

Reg looked quite flattered, and then turned to me. "Melissa." I noticed the use of my full name. "You should know better than to treat your friends like that—,"

"He's lying, Reg!" I cried dramatically, trying the kick the liar in the shins. "He was the one who bloody attacked me!"

"Melissa, language!" cried Reg in outrage. "Stop!" she commanded as Jatin continued to dodge me, by using Reg as a shield.

"You're going down!" I pointed my finger at him, from over Reg's shoulder. Why did he have to be so damn fast? "I'll be getting revenge, Patil!"

He stuck his tongue out at me.

The nerve of him! I took off after him as he ran through the kitchen door as if the place was on fire, ignoring Reg's protests.

Yes, she might be able to catch several dark Wizards, but she was hopeless when it came to overgrown children.

"Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" I shrieked after him from the doorway as he ran out into the lawn. I know. Mature.

Apparently, Jatin thought the same, "Real mature, Lisa!" he called, laughing. Ugh! I'm just going to kill him.

Or lock him in a broom closet with Delworth. An evil grin spread across my face. Perfect. It wouldn't be difficult considering she couldn't see anything without her glasses. How she managed to see twenty years into the 'future', when she couldn't see two feet ahead of her was beyond me—

"You be careful, girl," a low, growling voice said. I almost shrieked as I swivelled around on the threshold. I had forgotten about Moody. There in the fireplace, a man's, _Moody's_ head was sitting in the flames. His head was covered in grey hair, emerald flames dancing around it and his beady black eyes were fixed on me in an unwavering glare. His face seemed to be covered in various scars, disfiguring his features and his lips were pressed together in a diagonal line. The scrutinising gaze was making me feel rather uncomfortable.

"What?" I said faintly. Did he have to jump on me like that?

"Moody!" Reg scolded with narrowed eyes.

"The girl should know of the dangers ahead," growled Moody, his eyes never leaving mine.

"What dangers?" I squeaked, looking between Reg and Moody. _I_ was in danger? Moody had earlier said a new arrival at Hogwarts could be a threat. But specifically a threat to _me_?

I trembled. The thought was frightening.

"Enough!" snapped Reg, glaring at Moody.

"Danger from what?" I demanded again.

But Moody continued scrutinizing me.

"Constant vigilance!" he barked suddenly and I jumped _again_.

"Jeez, man!" I said, clutching my heart. "There's no need to be so dramatic! I swear my heart is going oh-so-fast—,"

Oops.

I clamped a hand over my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Moody was growling. Honestly, was he a dog or something?

Reg looked like she was barely controlling in laughter. "Lisa, why don't you go get your stuff packed?" she said in a constricted voice.

"But it's already packed!" Reg knew this of course. "Why don't _you _tell me what's going on?"

I could hear Moody muttering about insolent teenagers.

Reg's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Uh. Oh.

"Get. Out. Now," she translated. Before I could decide whether to scamper or press the issue, Jatin spoke up from behind me, "We should go outside Lis. I don't think we should pry into confidential information. Miss Kent, we won't bother you anymore."

And before I could protest, he had grabbed my arm and dragged me outside, shutting the door in my face.

"Suck-up," I muttered.

Jatin grinned. "Well, she's good looking," he said defensively.

I mimed gagging. "She's over thirty years old!"

"So?" he asked casually, walking up to a tree and flopping down at its roots.

I sighed. "You are such a guy." I said a little affectionately, sitting down next to him.

"You are such a girl." He said smiling.

Oh, yes. Enlightening conversation.

I leaned back, inhaling the fresh air and looking fondly at my new home. It looked quite old and was small, but I loved it. Creepers covered the lower part of it and sweet smelling honeysuckles grew all around it. Green trees swayed around in the breeze. It was peaceful and perfect.

I should have known it wouldn't last for long.

Yes, you guessed it right. My peaceful morning was interrupted by a _very_ obnoxious voice that I had never wanted to hear again, let alone before I had predicted.

"—you sure she lives here?" Black was saying.

"You've asked, what, eighteen times already?" replied James. His voice made a light blush creep up to my cheeks and my stomach clench in anticipation. I glanced at Jatin, who was frowning and peering around the tree at the road where both of them were approaching our house. Approaching _us_.

Black was unrecognisable. His skin looked like he had a very bad case of sunburn. His entire body was a coral pink and clashed wildly with his grey shirt. I sniggered despite myself.

"What are they here for?" asked Jatin, breaking my daydream where the entire platform laughed at the sight of Black.

"Huh?" I asked intelligibly, tearing my eyes away from the pair of them.

"Darn!' muttered Jatin, getting up at tugging my hand. He seemed to have understood something.

But I was mortified. "No!" I whispered fiercely. Talking to James Potter was beyond my realm of capability. Talking to James Potter _in front of_ Sirius Black even more so.

"I just want to get back at her!" Black was saying. "Look at me! I'm bloody pink!"

James sniggered. The sound made me smile.

"Would you rather they talk to Gina?" Jatin asked me, pulling me up to my feet. Then it dawned on me. "They are here to talk to _Reg_!"

Jatin merely pulled me in their direction. My stomach swooped. If Reg found out that I had used magic on purpose...I didn't even like to think of the consequences.

I could feel my face getting redder as they opened the rickety gate slowly. "— I've seen her a couple of times around here—," James stopped at the sight of us.

He had seen me? I could feel my face getting hotter at the thought.

Black wasn't glaring at me as I had expected. Instead he was smirking evilly. James merely looked pleasantly at us, his hands in his pockets. I refused to be the one to speak first and merely glared at Black, avoiding looking at James altogether. Black seemed to be thinking similarly and made no move to speak, simply stood there with a scornful smirk.

I was itching to insult Black, this was too good an opportunity to let pass, but somehow the sight of James kept me mum.

The tension in the air was palpable. Black was smug, James looked awkward and Jatin— I could never tell what Jatin was feeling. Me? My feelings were in disarray, ranging from embarrassment on being so close to James Potter, hurt on realising that James was here to tattle about me too, dread on wondering how on earth I would explain this to Reg and a furious anger towards Black.

I was confused to say the least.

I glanced at James. He was shuffling his feet slightly, looking at each of us as if expecting us to break the silence. I could feel Jatin's hand forming a tighter grip on my hand with each passing second and I knew he was dying to speak.

But before Jatin caved into temptation, Black spoke up, interrupting my careful scrutinising of James' features, who had been looking at his friend expectantly.

"Oh, look James! Doesn't Kent look absolutely stunning today?"

I admit it, I blushed. Furiously.

James didn't say anything, but he frowned slightly, looking at his feet.

"Yes, I think it's actually an improvement from her normal self," Black continued. "That scar at least distracts us from her hideous face."

My fists clenched and I gritted my teeth in anger. It was all I could do to stop myself from hitting him. I couldn't even look at James, for fear of seeing him agreeing with the monster Black.

But apparently Jatin had different plans. In the blink of an eye, he had snatched his hand and lunged at Black, sending both of them flying backwards. I shrieked in shock as I saw Jatin punch Black directly in the face. A loud crack echoed ominously just as I heard the door behind me bang open. James was trying to pull them apart, yelling at Jatin.

I just stood there in shock. Jatin, who had never in my lifetime, hurt a fly, than punch somebody was beating Black into a pulp. Jatin, who had never been violent, preferring to argue, lie or act his way out of fights, had flung himself at Black. For me.

To say that I was touched would be an understatement.

"What is going on here?" Reg bellowed from behind me. I winced, she had quite a voice.

Regaining my senses, I quickly caught hold of Jatin's arm, tugging him backward with all my strength. He finally gave in and James and I managed to get the two of them apart.

Jatin was breathing heavily, but looked quite unharmed. The same, however, could not be said for Black. His nose was crooked and was oozing dark blood. I felt a wave of unwonted pleasure as I looked into his livid face.

He gently touched his crooked nose.

"What the bloody—Ow!"

"Nose?" I completed his sentence innocently, tilting my head to the side.

Black looked ready to hit me. Thankfully, Reg stalked up to him and drew out her wand, tapping his nose. It was instantly healed.

"Ow—oh. Thanks, Mrs. Kent."

Reg did not bother to correct him. She looked very stern, her lips pursed. I was reminded strongly of McGonagall.

"Would any of you tell me why you had to resort to muggle fighting? Or fighting at all?"

Was she channelling McGonagall's spirit? Definitely seemed so. Nobody replied. Jatin looked livid like I had never seen him before. James still looked uncomfortable.

"Well?" she demanded.

I stared at my shoes.

"And who was the one who used that curse?" I looked up to see her pointing at Black who was suddenly looking very smug.

"Ah, I'm sorry to inform you it was your daughter, Mrs. Kent." Black shot her his most charming smile, but Reg's stern expression did not fade. He produced an official looking envelope from his pocket and handed it to Reg. I recognised the Ministry of Magic seal. I gulped.

"She did this to me at the party last night, thinking she could pin the blame on James, seeing the Ministry cannot recognise who cast the spell," he smirked. "So, we, being the responsible wizards that we are—," I scoffed openly. "—thought she should be properly..._punished_."

"A well devised lie Black." Jatin said calmly. "Lisa was with me whole of the last night. And we never met you. I don't know what delusions you are harbouring..." he paused for effect, leaving the sentence hanging. "We never touched him, Miss Kent. Alas! Innocents are always the ones victimised," he added tragically.

"Is this true, Potter?" Reg barked at James, folding up the letter and ignoring Jatin.

"Um...how do you know my name, Mrs. — Miss Kent?" James looked nervous. Reg could look frightening if she wanted to.

"It's in the letter," said Reg, raising her eyebrows at his stupidity. "And Lisa told me about you as well. I'm her Aunt," she added to his questioning look. I blushed furiously as he looked at me. I had told her a lot more about him than his name. "I know your parents, as well. So, is this true?"

"Um..." said James, with half a glance at Black. "Yes."

I felt my heart sink to my toes. I couldn't look up. Jatin made a disbelieving noise, which I figured had more to do with his failed attempt at lying than anything else.

"Thank you, both of you, for telling me the truth." Reg said to them, much more kindly. "James and—,"

"Sirius Black, mam." Black gave her a mock-bow. I rolled my eyes, scowling.

Reg's eyes momentarily widened in recognition, which I thought was rather odd and she nodded.

"I'll talk to her," she told them firmly, tilting her head towards me. I felt an awful wave of trepidation.

"Then, we'll er...go," said James. "Nice to meet you, Miss Kent."

"See you at the platform!" Black called back over his shoulder, with a smug look on his face. I wanted to slap it away. Stupid Black.

When they had disappeared down the road, I slowly turned to look at Reg, preparing myself for screaming, scolding or possible murder.

Instead, Reg gave me the widest possible grin and said, "That. Was. Brilliant."

My day just got weirder.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thankyou to all my wonderful reviewers! You have no idea how happy you make me! :)


	5. The Broken Silence

**Disclaimer: *blinks in surprise* I *don't* own Sirius Black?**

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><p><strong>The Broken Silence<strong>

* * *

><p>A story is told as much by silence as by speech.<p>

~**Susan Griffin **

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><p><em>When they had disappeared down the road, I slowly turned to look at Reg, preparing myself for screaming, scolding or possible murder.<em>

_Instead, Reg gave me the widest possible grin and said, "That. Was. Brilliant."_

_My day just got weirder._

I choked on my own spit.

"Ex- excuse me?" I said in a hoarse voice, not believing my ears. Or eyes, for that matter.

"I've never seen such a convincing Colour Change spell before." Grinning made Reg look like a mischievous teenager. "I'm proud of you."

"Um..." I said, my eyes wide, looking at Jatin for support.

But Jatin was grinning just as crazily back at Reg, his eyes bright with amusement.

"O-kay." I said slowly. "Thank you?" It came out as a tentative question.

To be honest, I was sort of freaking out here.

Reg's lack of extreme reaction was a little too disconcerting. Which meant I was having many suspicions in my head that Reg was lulling me into a false sense of security and that she would probably attack me when my guard was completely let down.

"Actually, it was my idea Miss Kent. I taught her that useful little spell," said Jatin. "Though I would never take credit for casting it." He pretended to look modest.

Oh, yeah, Jatin? You would just take credit for teaching me, but never for performing it illegally.

"Oh, how absolutely humble of you Jatin." I said sarcastically, as Reg looked impressed.

"How do you know about Potter, Miss Kent?" asked Jatin slyly, deftly changing the subject. I turned pink, but glared at him nonetheless.

"His name was on the letter—," I protested feebly.

But thankfully Reg didn't cotton on to his plan of embarrassing me further. I was already confused by Reg's lack of berating. Goodness knows I don't need anymore drama in my life.

"His parents are well known Aurors." I smiled smugly as Jatin looked disappointed. "They are much higher up in the Ministry, but I've talked to them a couple of times." Reg smiled. "Though I have no idea how they allowed their kid to throw a party. From what I know they are very strict. Nice, but strict."

"They didn't." Jatin looked sulky. "They weren't at home. Potter was saying, or should I say _rambling_ last night."

Reg raised her eyebrows. "I wouldn't want to be there when they find out. Aurors can be very terrifying."

_Tell me about it_, I thought, eyeing Reg pointedly.

"All Aurors are clearly psychotic." I muttered.

Reg heard me. I suppose being a Dark wizard catcher gives you greater senses. I should have known that by now. My bad...

"Don't think you won't be punished for that little stunt, though." Reg said, narrowing her eyes. I think I should be diagnosed with Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome. "Just because I'm glad you're finally fighting back to the boy who's made your life hell, doesn't mean—,"

Her rant was cut short by my spluttering. "WH—what?" I was flabbergasted. "How do you know?" I said quickly, the colour draining from my cheeks. I sure as hell didn't tell her. And nobody else—

"JATIN!" I shrieked. "You-,"

Jatin raised his palms up in defence, looking a little scared. As he should be. "I didn't tell her anything! I swear on your stuffed rabbit, Lisa—,"

"You are supposed to swear on something _you_ own." I said testily.

"Erm...sorry to disappoint, but I don't own no stuffed rabbit. Personally I think they are rather itchy—,"

"Lisa," Reg said quietly, interrupting Jatin's ramble about itchy stuffed toys. "Why didn't you tell me?" She looked hurt. I felt a little guilty. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I told you about that fight," I mumbled. "In third year."

"I had never known it would get this out of hand! You have been miserable and you don't even share it with me—,"

"Reg." I cut her off. "I'm sorry, alright? But I didn't want to talk about it." I continued before she could protest. "And I'm never miserable. I have my best, slightly neurotic friend with me."

"Oi! I resent that!" Jatin huffed. "When have I been neurotic?"

"What was that just now, then?" I asked, failing to hide an affectionate smile. "Breaking Black's nose? Acting like a deranged animal?"

"That was—,"

"Years of suppressed emotions leaking out?" I completed.

"Nah! I just like to take everyone by surprise," he said idly.

"It's you who has been suppressing their emotions Lisa." Reg said. Oh, please! I wasn't _that_ depressed that I needed psychiatric talk.

"I said I was sorry, okay?"

"Just tell me yourself next time. I would rather find out from you than your teachers."

"My _teachers_?" Oh, Merlin. Who did she talk to? "You talked to my teachers! _Why_?"

"She sent me a letter, Lisa, not the other way round." McGonagall. She linked my bad grades to being a social cripple. Mad, that one. You'd think having almost no friends would give me more time to study. "Just talk to me, alright?"

"I will, Reg." I sighed. "Promise."

She smiled. "And I wish you'd start calling me Gina." She said a little grumpily.

"Alright." I paused. "Reg."

She tried to look intimidating, but a smile slipped out. "I'm going to get breakfast ready," she said mostly to herself. "Actually, I don't think there's much time. I'll just get it packed." And she sauntered off in the direction of the kitchen.

"Jatin! What are you _doing_?"

"Making a snow angel," he replied from his spot on the ground, waving his arms and legs up and down.

"Snow angels are made in snow." I said slowly.

"How do you know?"

It looked like my best friend had finally cracked. I had never imagined that punching somebody would have such a drastic effect on his mental faculties.

"Hey, that rhymed!" he exclaimed, sitting up as I plopped down next to him. "I would make a great poet."

"I was kidding," he replied to my concerned gaze, questioning his sanity. "Geez! One cannot even joke around here..."

"Alright," I said slowly, taking a deep breath. "Just don't do that again. I've had enough drama for the day."

"Do what? Punching Black or making a snow angel?" he asked innocently.

"Both! Especially the former."

"Why?" he mock-whined. Does he ever stop acting? "I thought you rather enjoyed it."

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped.

"I did." I assured him. "But it just wasn't you. You didn't seem yourself. Next time, just insult him, confuse him or prank him. No violence."

"It was funny," he said, proceeding to giggle like a little girl. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was imitating me.

I narrowed my eyes. "I was having a nervous breakdown the whole time!"

"You're doing it again," he said suddenly in a solemn voice which alarmed me even more.

"Doing what?"

"Geez! Stop it! I don't want to see your striking resemblance to Delworth! My eyes! My poor-poor eyes!"

I kicked him, hard, as he rolled around guffawing.

"Ha-ha, very funny." I said sarcastically.

He just laughed harder.

"My eyes aren't funny!" I huffed.

"Sure they aren't." Jatin replied, sitting up straight and wiping his eyes. He grinned happily. "I love your house," he said out of the blue.

I beamed at him, and then gazed at my house. "Me too."

"Because Jamsie darling lives down the street?"

"No. Because it's so peaceful here. And it's invisible to Muggles, which is always a plus." I winced as I remembered my previous encounters with Muggles.

"And the Muggles will forever be grateful for that," he said dramatically, waving his hands in an exaggerated gesture.

"True," I replied with a wry smile.

"Remember that kid whose hair you set on fire?" he sniggered. Obviously, I did, seeing _I_ was there, not _him_. "No wonder those people chased you with pitchforks."

"He tried to kiss me!" I said defensively.

"Lisa, darling, when a person tries to kiss you, it's generally seen as a sign of affection," said Jatin gently, as if talking to a two year old.

"I was seven!"

"Poor kid," he replied fervently.

"But let's not talk about Robert right now—,"

"Ooooh...you still remember his naaaame..." Ugh! That sing-song voice again.

"Jatin, stop imitating Peeves and listen to me for a minute, will you? And it would be helpful if you bring your insanity down a notch too." I added thoughtfully.

"Blasphemy!" Jatin spluttered in mock-outrage.

"Jatin!" I groaned exasperatedly.

"Sorry," he said with his 'serious' face on.

I lowered my voice. "You know, when I was outside the kitchen door? I overheard—,"

"You mean you eavesdropped," piped up Jatin. "On innocent, unsuspecting victims—,"

"JATIN!" I screamed; my nerves frayed.

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

Sucking in a breath, I told him everything I'd overheard. Thankfully, he did not interrupt me again, though. When I had finished, he said, "So somebody's coming at Hogwarts who could be a possible danger?" He seemed uncharacteristically solemn.

I nodded. "And Reg refused to tell me. I could have found out something more if I hadn't been unceremoniously pushed out of the kitchen door."

"Gina is so stubborn that I doubt it would have made much of a difference," he replied to my pointed look.

And those were the only sentences that he said in a serious manner the whole day.

"Do you think they were talking about Delworth? Because let's face it, she's a danger to everyone around, herself included."

I laughed. "It could be our new DADA professor," I said seriously.

"Why am I friends with you again?" said Jatin, looking painfully deep in thought. "You are so serious all the time. Oh, I know. Your hilarious expressions make up for it."

I laughed, ignoring his jibe.

I had absolutely no idea. I guess that was our weird friendship. With him joking around and doing crazy antics, and me being sarcastic, cynical and slightly bitter. That was the essence of our bond— being on so different frequencies from each other.

It was refreshing.

"But eavesdropping is morally wrong, Lis," Jatin looked solemn. "Notwithstanding, whatever useful information you may have overheard about whether Delworth should be locked away in a loony bin." He pretended to look awfully disappointed.

"This coming from the person who followed Meadows around for two years, like one creepy stalker. No wonder she found you insane."

Oo-ops.

I did it again, didn't I?

And, the infamous Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome strikes again. Sigh.

I looked at him guiltily, scratching the back of my head.

To my surprise, he raised a hand and did the same to his head. "Yeah...I was a little creepy, wasn't I?" he said with a guilty-cum-sheepish look.

"A little?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"I suppose it's time for a new victim. What do you think of that Rita Skeeter in 7th year?"

He looked at my flabbergasted expression and grinned. "Kidding."

And that was when we both started laughing.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Sirius<strong>_

"And then she ended up shrieking at him." Remus finished relating the 571st time James had asked Lily out.

"Again." I added grinning.

Mrs. Potter looked pitying and sympathetic, though at her son's futile attempts or Evans' sad fate at having to put up with a love-struck James, it was hard to tell.

But James had a goofy grin plastered over his face. Apparently, he had gotten over his sane idea of moving on and leaving Evans alone. He was practically _skipping_ in his rush to see the love of his life. I swear, if he wasn't my best mate, I'd be laughing outright now.

On second thought, who cares? I still laughed at him.

I don't think he even noticed.

"And he still worships the ground she storms on." Peter was telling Mrs. Potter.

"Storms on?" James interrupted indignantly, ceasing his skipping.

"Well, she doesn't exactly walk, does she?" continued Remus.

"Yeah, more like thunders. Like a rampaging bull. I'm always surprised there isn't smoke coming out of her nostrils. Though she does that only when you are around, of course," said Peter, oblivious to the fact that James had stopped several feet behind us.

"Way to keep brutality to a minimum, Pete." I said sarcastically, laughing along with Moony at the thunderstruck look on James' face. Even Mrs. Potter was trying and failing to hide her smile.

"Here's the platform, boys." Mrs. Potter stopped in front of the barrier. "Sirius, you go first."

I gulped.

I looked pleadingly at Mrs. Potter, but she shook her head, looking firm. I had the feeling that she was rather enjoying this.

I sighed in defeat.

I had discovered yesterday that making puppy-dog eyes had no effect on Mrs. Potter whatsoever. We had thankfully cleared up all the mess before she arrived. On the downside though, I had forgotten that I was pink, and that a Ministry letter lay open on the kitchen table, thanks to being slightly drunk.

So we had told Mrs. Potter that Kent had attacked me while we were having a 'small' get-together.

I don't think my innocent look is working, because Mrs. Potter seems to think that I must have done something to provoke the 'girl'. Like making a move on her.

Gag. Me. Now.

Really, Mrs. Potter? Puh-lease. I've better taste.

She seemed to think it was fair punishment to let the charm wear off.

Honestly, I love her and everything, but she doesn't seem to realise that she might be putting several girls' health at risk!

I can almost _picture_ the numbers of girls distraught over my new look...

See? I'm _such_ a concerned being—

"C'mon Sirius, don't be afraid..." said Moony in a choked voice. I could tell he was holding back a laugh. Peter was staring at James avidly, the latter of whom was just beaming, lost in his own world.

I just realised that my friends are pretty weird...

"I'm not afraid!" I scoffed, offended.

_The_ Sirius Black? Afraid? Never!

I was just – apprehensive, that's all.

Yes, that's all. For the sake of others. Not afraid.

_Not afraid_, thinking thus, I positioned my trolley in front of the barrier, and started running.

The sight of a gleaming scarlet engine met my eyes. The platform was already abuzz with an excited chatter of students and parents alike, milling about.

I attempted to blend in and go unnoticed.

_Attempted_ being the key word.

I should have known better than to attempt to blend into thin air. Blending into the Hogwarts Express would have been a better choice seeing that my skin matched its colour.

"Looking good, Black!" a voice hollered over the entire din. It belonged to a person that I'm absolutely beginning to detest in the past fifteen hours. I didn't think it was possible to start dreading a person in such a short span of time.

That was until _he_ came by.

Honestly, if there's one person I'm a little afraid of, it's him.

Just a little.

I suppressed a groan as I recognised his dark face over the crowd, grinning like the lunatic he was.

"I must say pink is your colour!" he continued, as heads turned in my direction. Merlin! Could he speak any louder? He could give Slughorn a run for his money. "It makes you look even more— _girly_."

I glared at him furiously. I wasn't going to let him live _this_ down.

I was as manly as a man could be!

I resisted the urge to puff out my chest. The last thing I wanted was to appear like that prat Diggory.

Before I could reply, he gave me a sarcastic smile and disappeared into the crowd, whistling to himself.

Well, it's not as if I had anything to reply.

.

I think too much pink affects your brain.

I turned away, haughtily ignoring the shocked looks and sniggering.

"I'm sorry your father couldn't come over, James." Mrs. Potter was saying, oblivious to my predicament.

"It's okay, mum," James replied, hugging her. "I understand."

I watched the scene of affection with fondness and a twinge of jealousy, but he next moment Mrs. Potter had pulled me into a hug too.

"Be good, both of you. I don't want any more letters from your teachers."

We all grinned. As if that was possible.

"Thanks Mrs. Potter, for letting us stay," Moony said with a sincere look, as a whistle sounded and everyone started to board the train.

"Yeah, thanks a lot Mrs. Potter." I shot her my charming grin.

"Remus, keep these boys in check, won't you?" she asked him as we all jumped onto the train.

Remus looked a bit uncomfortable and guilty. "I'll try, Mrs. Potter," he finally said. I suppressed a snort.

"You all are more than welcome to come here for Christmas," she continued as the train started moving, but she was looking at me. I smiled at her warmly to show how much I appreciated that.

"Be good, boys!" she called again, as the train gathered speed and finally left the platform.

"Finally. Change me back, Moony!" I sighed in relief.

"Nah! I think this look suits you better." Moony grinned.

_Grinned! _I _told_ you he was evil.

"Pwease, Moony? Pwetty pwease?" I gave him my best puppy-dog eyed look.

"You know what?" he said turning away and following James and Peter to search for a compartment. "Patil is right. You _are_ a little girly."

I glared at the back of his head, huffing.

I think I really need to steal his chocolates and hold them for ransom.

I hurried after them, nonetheless, smiling and waving sarcastically at everyone who stared.

It's not _that_ big of a deal!

There have been more than a few backfired pranks where we Marauders are involved. I remember the time James nose got transfigured into a tomato. _That_ was more strange than my er...pink skin.

Maybe it's just because I'm more popular and my beauty is overshadowed by this horrible colour.

.

I think Moony is right. That sounded girly.

"James, buddy!" I cried dramatically, flopping down next to him. "Change me back, please?"

"And what would I get in return?" he asked, grinning and twirling his wand. Apparently, he has spent too much time with Moony. "Kidding!" he said as Moony laughed.

With a flick of his wand, I was back to normal.

Welcome back, my handsome skin and manly brain!

I looked up to see all of them looking at me as if I had sprouted three heads.

Did I just say that out loud?

.

This is awkward.

"M-manly b-brain?" said Moony, spluttering with laughter.

James looked like he was going to fall down seeing the way he was rolling with guffaws.

Peter was trying to hide his snorts.

Some friends I have.

"Glad to amuse you," I muttered, which just caused them to laugh harder.

It wasn't _that_ funny.

Or maybe it was.

"Oh, Sirius," said James, sobering up. "I'm glad that you're our friend."

"I'm glad too!" I replied, grinning and deciding to ignore the fact that they just ridiculed my manly brain. "Which is why I need you chaps to help me."

"If it's about crazy ex-girlfriends again, no, I won't talk to them," said Moony nonchalantly, flipping open a magazine.

"Hey! I don't always ask you blokes to do that!" I said, offended.

"When don't you?" replied Moony, his eyebrows raised in disbelief."Remember that Emma—,"

"And Brittany—,"

"And Samuels nearly bit my head off," finished James.

"How is it that every girl you've dated is a nutter?" Peter asked.

"And they are all fourth years," continued James, nodding. "Maybe you need somebody more mature, buddy."

"The crux of the matter remains," interrupted Moony, sounding awfully like McGonagall, "that we won't get rid of them."

I sighed in defeat. "Alright, maybe I've asked you blokes more than once, but this isn't one of those times."

Moony made a disbelieving sound.

"Thinking about pranking somebody?" asked James, interested at once.

"Oh, yes." I smirked. "A big revenge prank on Kent. One that Hogwarts will never forget."

All of them exchanged furtive glances.

O-kay. Am I missing something?

"Revenge for what exactly?" James sounded exasperated.

"You _know_ what." I replied, albeit a little coolly.

"It was two years ago, Sirius!" James exclaimed impatiently. "Get over it already!"

"Get over it?," I began in outrage. "She turned me bloody _pink_!"

"I think you deserved that," said Moony quietly, with a small frown on his face, looking outside.

"What do you think, Peter?" I barked.

"I...um...J-James..." he stuttered.

"Leave it." I cut him off with contempt. It was at times like these that I felt quite irritated with him. Couldn't he just make up his mind?

"Haven't you done enough Sirius?" started James.

"She hurt you!" I replied angrily. "And don't say it wasn't her fault!"

"I'm _not_ saying that. I'm just – she – we—," he took a deep breath. "I don't know what your obsession is with her, but it's getting a little too much."

I glared at him.

"I never thought I'd see a day when a Marauder would refuse to play a prank." I bit out.

James looked cool for the first time. "I think Evans has had more than enough time to think about this. And she has clearly made her decision. She'd have responded by now if she wanted me." The pain in his eyes was evident. I cringed, feeling a little ashamed. "I don't think even Kent deserves what you've done, Sirius." James' voice held an awful finality, and I looked away, feeling a twinge of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

He stood up abruptly. "I need to go see Evans. See you." He left the compartment with a last pointed look in my direction.

"What does he _see_ in Evans?" I grumbled, folding my arms as the door slid shut.

Moony didn't say anything.

"Women. Can't live with them. Definitely can't live without them," said Peter sagely.

I gawped at him. Where were these words of wisdom coming from?

He turned pink under my disbelieving gaze, fidgeting in his seat. "I've got to meet Mary. I'll see you both later?" he said, getting up quickly.

"Mary?" questioned Remus.

"She told me to meet her," he replied, backing away and slowly turning red in the face.

"Merlin." I breathed once he had scampered off.

Remus didn't reply, but looked at me with painfully disappointed eyes.

I squirmed, trying to push the guilty feeling away.

How did he _do_ that?

"Lily Evans is a wonderful person," he told me quietly, tossing the magazine aside. "And I don't think Kent is what you're trying to make her out to be either. You've got your priorities wrong, Sirius."

I avoided his searching amber eyes.

He stood up as well and said, "I need to get to the prefects' meeting. I'll see you in two hours."

I felt far worse than I had at any time today as he left me sitting there and regretting my words to James.

An angry Remus I could handle, but I hated a disappointed Remus.

I sighed, getting up.

I think I need a girl.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Melissa<strong>_

I sighed happily to myself, gazing out of the train and smiling giddily.

Odd?

That's what getting an empty compartment does to you. For once, nobody was sending me evil glares or cowering in fear. Or being just plain rude and kicking me out of the compartment.

I would rather be my usual whiny self when I'm back at Hogwarts.

Right now, I would just enjoy the scenery and munch my sandwiches, while wondering how Jatin's prefect meeting is going.

I giggled as I imagined him trapped with Jackson, Evans and Diggory. It's been almost two hours. He would be back any second now.

Just as that thought floated into my brain, the compartment door was blasted (yes, _blasted_,by the sound of it) open and I sat up, grinning, imagining Jatin's usual dramatic entrance.

Instead, the people who entered totally ruined my train ride.

How is it that my happiness is always temporary?

See? Even my whiny angst-y self is back.

Sigh.

"— what does he think of himself? That arrogant, conceited toerag!"

_Please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her._

Ah, wishful thinking.

Dorcas, Alice and Mary trooped in after her, looking quite unperturbed to Evans' ranting as he waved her fists and stomped around.

What was _I_? Bloody invisible?

Apparently yes.

Meeting all of my dorm-mates was _not_ a situation I wanted to be trapped in.

"—his ego is the size of the castle and yet—,"

Merlin! Doesn't this ever get old? She should come up with some new arguments.

"What did he do this time? Breathe too loudly?" I said scornfully, unable to stop myself. I seemed to be forgetting my principle of 'there's nothing more humiliating than silence'. This really isn't my day.

Everyone's heads jerked towards me in shock. Seemingly they had just noticed I was here.

"I suggest you all get out of my compartment," I said with forced calm. "I would rather not listen to your bitchy talks."

Evans regarded me with a furious glare.

"_You_ wouldn't know, would you?" she snarled. "Because you don't have to put up with that prat!"

Mary had merely settled down, idly examining her fingernails. Alice looked apprehensive and Dorcas was pointedly looking outside the window, ignoring me. It was this last sight that spurred me into speech. Suddenly I was angry. No, I was _beyond_ angry. I was livid.

"Oh, _really_?" I snarled back into her face, jumping to my feet. "Because _I_ don't remember _you _complaining two years back when you went on and on about his perfect hazel eyes and messy hair!" She flushed red but kept her furious gaze. "Because I clearly remember you running back to him like a little girl and—," _ruining my life_, I completed in my head.

But I wasn't going to give her _that_ satisfaction. Instead, I regained my cool composure. "You. Are. Such. A. Filthy. Hypocrite, Evans." I said with bitter disdain, before grabbing my trunk and stomping out of the compartment. I made sure to step on McDonald's toes on my way out. Her shriek of pain was lost as I slammed the door so hard that the glass cracked.

I didn't care. Fury; fury and jealousy alike were pounding into my veins like a burning inferno.

I hated her.

I so-so-_so_ loathed her.

She didn't know what it was like for others like me. She could _never_ know. She had everything— every damn thing for heaven's sake! A bloke who loved her, innumerable friends who could be with her every second of the day, teachers who fawned on her, perfect grades, perfect life...

Yet all she did was wail and moan and rant...

She was such a whinger!

Don't look at me like that. I've more reason to moan than she does.

I could feel the hatred burning my blood as I blindly pushed people out of the way, dragging my trunk along. On top of everything, she had even robbed me of my peaceful compartment.

"_She's_ the one?"

"Yeah, with that Ravenclaw beater."

"But why _her_?"

"She's no beauty—,"

"She looks rather ugly."

"But isn't she that evil—,"

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP?" I screamed, whirling around, furious beyond belief. Two third year girls scampered back into their compartment, looking terrified.

I turned back around in impatience and collided with something hard.

"Sor—," a masculine voice started, but then the hands promptly dropped me.

"Oof—," I grunted as I landed hard on my trunk.

Ouch. I think my tailbone was broken.

I looked up to glare at whoever the inconsiderate _blind_ person it was. Though if the truth be told, most of the people at school would just love to drop me on the ground.

"_No_," I moaned.

It was Black.

It was just so much you could expect a girl to bear in one day.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded, getting jerkily to my feet.

I don't know what had gotten into me. What was I doing here making decent conversation with Black, when I should have been searching for a compartment?

Because '_what the hell was that'_ was pretty decent conversation when it came to talking to Black.

"I'm _not _sorry," he said in an obnoxious voice, smirking.

His smirk was the ugliest and most vile thing I had ever seen.

I can hear those fan-girls' protests— "Oh, but he is the most handsome being ever!"

Ha! Those looks hide the monster that he is underneath. A person would be on his guard on a dark and ominous night. But on a clear, sunny day? How would he know to flee when he couldn't see any place for danger to hide?

His looks made him even more repulsive and dangerous.

I tried to keep my voice level.

_Tried_, being the operative word.

"Oh, just get the hell away from me Black!" I screamed. Screaming felt good, it helped abate my rage. I figured hitting him would feel better, but I couldn't bring myself to touch him.

"You are such a bitch, you know that?" he sneered, cold fury in his grey eyes.

My anger hit a boiling point instantly and I found myself screeching shrilly.

"Oh, _I'm_ the bitch, aren't I?" Had I been calmer, I'd have noticed how my throat hurt, but I wasn't. "When _you_ go around taunting and humiliating people just for the heck of it, _I'm_ the bitch! When you are the biggest arse to walk on the planet, _I'm_ called a bitch! When _you_ get some sick pleasure from ruining people's lives, _I'm_ the bitch!" People were peeking out of their compartments, but I was on a roll today. I didn't care. My wrath seemed to have exploded like a dormant volcano. "Just – just stay the heck _away_ from me, Black!"

I pushed past him, elbowing him in the gut as hard as I could.

"Gladly, _bitch_." He snarled from behind me.

"ARGHHHHHHHH!" I screamed out loud. It was strange. I'd never let him get under my skin before. Now the simplest remarks seemed to enrage me. That was the third time in the past one day. Breathing loudly, I opened a compartment at random and pushed myself inside.

As suddenly as it had come, the fury inside me was extinguished. I was exhausted now. And I felt like crying.

Merlin! I didn't even know why!

A small whimpering snapped me out of my thoughts.

I looked around. The compartment was empty except for a tiny boy, who looked like he was a first year. He looked terrified. Figures, seeing I stomped in like a bull on a rampage, my hair flying wildly. The scar on my forehead did no favours either. He must have thought me to be some manic murderer on the loose.

I quickly tried to flatten my hair and rearrange my expression to one of kindness.

"Um...do you mind if I sit here?" I asked politely.

He shook his head frantically, still looking petrified.

I shoved my trunk in and sat down in front of him.

"So, are you a first year?" I asked gently.

"Yes," he squeaked, looking as though he would be anywhere than here.

"I'm not an axe murderer, you know." I said conversationally. "I wouldn't chop off your head and feed your entrails to the birds, either."

I don't really think that helped. I think it was the result of Jatin rubbing off on me.

Well, atleast I was trying...

"What's your name, anyway?" I prodded.

But before he could reply the door banged open so loudly that both of us jumped. I realised that was what it would have been like for the unnamed kid when I had barged in. Ah, Karma...

Somebody scurried in quick as lightening, and shut the door behind him quite silently, considering the noise he had just made.

Jatin snapped the hangings shut and leant against the door, eyes closed and breathing deeply. His hair was dishevelled and he looked distinctly ruffled.

"Jatin?" I said tentatively.

He screamed, stumbling sideways. Yes, _screamed. _Now I was really concerned.

"Jatin, what's wrong with you?" I asked, grabbing his hand. He jumped, but finally his wide eyes focused on me and he relaxed.

"Oh," he breathed, his whole body staggering with relief. "It's you." He flopped down beside me.

"Yes, who else would it be?" I asked slowly.

He just grunted, leaning back and flattening his hair.

"How did the prefects' meeting go anyway?" I asked, staring at him. What had happened to make him scream like a terrified girl?

To my surprise, he blanched under his dark skin, his expression an intriguing mix of annoyance, disgust and fear. "Ugh," he groaned. "Don't remind me. And please do me a favour and never-ever speak of that _blasted_ meeting again."

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Guess who's the other Ravenclaw prefect?" he asked with mock sarcasm, the annoyance not quite leaving his voice.

"Jackson." I said at once. Obviously. The perfect Rachel Jackson. The girl ran a _charity service_, for Merlin's sake. Who else could it be if it wasn't Saint Jackson?

He groaned again, his head buried into his hands.

I patted his arm sympathetically. I would probably be in the same, if not worse, condition after spending two hours with her.

"What did she do?" I asked kindly.

He raised his head, seeming to teeter on the verge of speech.

"She's—scary!" he burst out.

"Really?" I asked astonished. I wasn't under the impression that Jatin was afraid of Jackson. Well, we learn something new everyday.

He struggled with his words. "Sh—She—She flirted with me!" he exclaimed. "I was just trapped in a corner and she was just—trying to be all over me and I couldn't think what to do!"

There were two seconds of absolute silence.

Then I burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard that my already raw throat felt painful, but I didn't care. Even the first year kid was sniggering in the corner.

"Ja-Jatin!" I gasped out between bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Jatin looked quite offended, which only made the situation more amusing.

He didn't make any move to stop my hysterical giggles and it was after a few minutes that I finally sat back and wiped my eyes, breathing deeply and clutching my painful stomach.

"Jatin." I began with mock solemnity, turning my torso towards his sulking face. "When a person flirts with you, it's generally seen as a sign of _affection_." I repeated his words to him.

He looked quite disgusted and I grinned.

Clutching his flattened hair, he muttered, "I didn't like being in that situation. It was so scary, dammit!"

"I can never figure you out. You can punch somebody even though you're a devoted follower of Mahatma Gandhi, but you can't deal with a flirting girl..."

Suddenly, the implications of everything hit me.

"She's upto something." I breathed quietly as the revelation struck me. "She's upto something!" I gasped at him.

"What?" he said confused.

"When has _Rachel Jackson_ ever flirted with you?" I asked him. "I told you she'll get back at you. You humiliated her; tarnished her five years' worth of reputation by showing everyone that she was a liar and she was jealous!" My mind was reeling. What was her plan? "And still she's flirting with you? How does that even make sense?"

Jatin looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "You think I can't handle an over-hormonal teenage girl?"

I looked back at him disbelievingly. "Well, if just now is anything to go by, I'd say—no."

He seemed to willing himself to grin. When he finally did, it was strained. "Well, shouldn't I be cheerful? I've got three days a week to look forward to. We'll be doing patrols _together_." He spoke with biting sarcasm.

I frowned. "Oh, cheer up, Jatin!" I begged. "It's over for now."

He sighed deeply and then grinned. I sighed in relief.

"Now, what is it that I hear about you stomping the length of the Express screaming at everyone?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement.

The rest of the journey was considerably smoother without the much common drama that had the tendency to barge into our lives. The first year kid, it turned out, was called Steven and was muggleborn. No wonder I scared him. Jatin had better effect on calming him into a coherent language than me, though I refrained from telling him that it was because of his flirto-phobia. Uh, yes, I just invented that word. I've a feeling that I'd be using it a lot in the future.

Steven seemed to be surprised at everything— from chocolate frogs to the fact that I was not, after all, a mad slaughterer.

"You'd better be in Hufflepuff." I told Steven as we neared Hogwarts.

"Why not Gryffindor or Ravenclaw?" he looked a little glum. "You don't think I am brave or smart enough?"

I shook my head. How do I explain it to him that he was better off without monsters in his life?

"Hufflepuff is the best house there is," I told him quietly. "It has noble, hardworking and loyal people."

"I want to be in Ravenclaw, like him," he said, pointing at Jatin, who was snoring slightly.

"That's not too bad, either." I smiled.

The Express turned a corner and Hogwarts came into view, looking like everything else in my life, the most beautiful and enchanting thing. It was only when you experienced its life, would you realise how murky and treacherous it could be.

"Is that Hogwarts?" Steven breathed, his nose pressed against the glance, looking entranced. I remembered a time, maybe a million years ago, when I used to have the same reaction.

"Yes," I whispered to the spellbound boy, dread very heavy in my stomach.

Here, was finally Hogwarts and there was no escaping it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I've noticed that my chapters get longer everytime. Maybe that's because I can't help writing more?

I've worked _really_ hard on this chapter. Your views would be very much appreciated =)

The quote - "A person would be on his guard on a dark and ominous night. But on a clear, sunny day? How would he know to flee when he couldn't see any place for danger to hide?" is taken from The Host by Stephanie Meyer. Just to let you know.

Thanks to my anonymous reviewer _opaline star! _:D


	6. A Very Black Evening

**Disclaimer : I know this is a big shocker, but the Harry Potter universe doesn't belong to me. It belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

><p><strong>A Very Black Evening<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause.<br>~Baltasar Gracian**

* * *

><p>I gazed at the gigantic castle as we stumbled out of the horseless carriages, illuminated against the dark sky.<p>

Even I, whose some of the worst experiences of life had occurred within its walls, could not deny its captivating beauty. Magic seemed to seep from the very walls. Just looking at it, you started to feel like anything was possible. And even through my dread, I couldn't help but smile.

Despite whatever my moan-y side wailed about, some of the very best things that had happened to me were also within these walls. Like Jatin.

Both of us climbed up the staircase into the entrance hall, in the midst of the crowd of students. As I followed Jatin, shepherded by the multitude of kids, many gave me looks, ranging from _she's-mad-as-a-hatter_ stares and terrified glances to jealous glares.

No doubt due to my recent screaming spree as Jatin's girlfriend, I thought dully, rolling my eyes. These people need a life, if they find that so exciting that they can't stop looking at me.

"What?" I barked at a small second year beside me, who was staring at my face avidly, as if I was her role model or something.

Yeah, _right_.

She burst into tears.

Oh, my...

"Sorry..." I said weakly, as she ran off howling, into the crowd.

Hey, at least I was trying.

It wasn't my fault that I was rubbish with small children.

I mean, they are so— _small_.

And...er...

.

Yeah, I'm just bursting with motives, aren't I?

I turned to face the front again grumpily, only to have my nose collide with somebody's very hard shoulder. Somebody who was supposed to be in _front_ of me. Somebody who was supposed to _keep walking_ and _not stop_ so suddenly so as to break my nose.

A hideous gigantic scar on the head, a bruised tailbone and a possibly broken nose, even _before_ I had entered the Great Hall?

Dandy, just dandy.

"What the _hell_, Jatin?" I exclaimed, just low enough for him to hear, rubbing my nose, and glaring at his shoulder bone.

He didn't respond in any way.

"Jatin, _move_!" I hissed. We were, no _he_ was blocking the doorway of the Great Hall. I shoved him in the back, but he was utterly immobile. What was he doing? I tried to stand over my toes to look over his around, my hand on his shoulder for support, but the next moment he had jumped, yes, _jumped_ forward, so that he was inside, nearly sending me crashing to the ground.

"Wha—," I started, as I stumbled inside after him. But the sight in front of me stopped me.

Jatin was doing some crazy dance, flapping his arms and legs about, a wide grin on his face. Students were starting to stare and I felt extremely uncomfortable. I saw Professor Flitwick running on his short legs towards us.

"Jatin!" I moaned, embarrassed and aghast. Doing a crazy dance in the middle of the Great Hall? That was extreme, even by Jatin's standards.

"Mr. Patil!" exclaimed Flitwick squeakily, coming to a stop in front of me, as whole of the Hogwarts population laughed. He stopped at once, grinning away madly.

"Yes, Professor?" he said politely.

"Five points from Ravenclaw, for creating a ruckus in the middle of the Great Hall! Now be seated, both of you."

Me? I didn't even do anything.

"Well, technically, Professor, we're in a corner." Oh, _shut up_, Jatin.

Flitwick tried to look stern. Jatin is so lucky. McGonagall would have landed us in a detention by now.

"I'm sorry, sir," Jatin continued, acting all sincere. "But I was so happy to be back! It's so glad to see my favourite Professor again, sir!" he beamed.

He's such a sycophant.

Flitwick looked quite pleased too, blushing. "Of, course, Mr. Patil! It's good to have you back too. Ten points to Ravenclaw for your compassion towards the school!" he bustled off.

My jaw hung open. How did he _do_ that?

"How do you do that?" I gaped at him in awe, as we made our way towards the House tables full of laughing students.

"It's a gift," he grinned happily.

"So what were you doing back there?" After all, I had to know whether my best friend needed to be shipped off to St. Mungo's.

He laughed gleefully. "It was a victory dance. Didn't you notice?" he asked, stopping as we reached the Ravenclaw table. "Delworth's gone!"

"_What_?" I turned around to squint at the Staff Table. There was Dumbledore, his head rested on his interlocked fingers, gazing at Jatin with twinkling eyes and an amused expression.

Ah, well...birds of a feather...

There was Flitwick, beaming around; Sprout, a young witch with flyaway brown hair; Slughorn with his vast belly; Kettleburn, who was still teaching with his one and a half remaining limbs.

On Kettleburn's left, however, were two faces I had never seen before. A thin middle aged man with gleaming eyes and light brown hair was talking to the witch seated next to him. He looked good-natured, but that didn't say anything. I looked like some evil witch, didn't I? Looks could be deceiving, as I had learned through my experience at Hogwarts.

The witch seated next to him looked barely of age, yet she was dressed very oddly, in a way that made her seem years older. Her body was wrapped in gauzy shawls and her hands were adorned with bangles, all covered in shiny sequins. Yet, the oddest feature were her thick, round glasses that made her dark green eyes look ten times larger than normal. I visualised a large glittering fly. She wasn't the DADA professor, of that I was certain.

"The new Divination Professor doesn't look any better either," I commented, turning to look at Jatin.

Who wasn't there.

What the—?

I whipped my head around towards the Ravenclaw table to finally spot Jatin being dragged by his arms by two boys on either side of him. He was swivelling his head and trying to look at me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lisa!" he called over his shoulder.

I threw up my arms in frustration, proceeding to stomp to the Gryffindor table and throw myself into an empty seat blindly.

To say that I was jealous would be an understatement.

I had grown so used to Jatin's presence over the summer that I had forgotten that he had more than one friend, who moaned and ranted and had the whole school after her.

Xenophilius Lovegood was a sixth year Ravenclaw who could be described in a single word- 'creepy'. Oh, and mentally unhinged was another. I know what you're saying. He was _Jatin's_ friend after all, wasn't he?

But Jatin was a good kind of insane. Lovegood was just eerie, frankly. He went on trips to search for imaginary animals and kept on rambling about 'Nargles', whatever they are.

Psychiatric help, anyone?

His second, more 'normal' friend was Frank Longbottom, again, a Ravenclaw sixth year. I personally admired him for putting up with two insane people at the same time.

I had never talked to either of them, but I had the feeling that they didn't like me much.

Shocking, right?

Sigh. Not really.

I glanced up at the Ravenclaw table to see Jatin laughing with them, and I frowned at the table, feeling another wave of jealousy wash over me. I knew I shouldn't feel envious, but I did. The Welcoming Feast was not really something I looked forward to. Just like the past year, I felt a little bereaved sitting alone at the Gryffindor Table, while everyone chatted happily around.

"Plotting to ruin somebody else's life?"

I looked up to notice somebody in front of me who I hadn't noticed before. I suppressed a groan. Please, _please_ not anymore today.

Why does Merlin hate me so much?

I glared at Black, whose trademarked hideous smirk was plastered on his face. My temper flared, but I fought to control it. I will _not_ degrade myself by speaking to him again. I will _not_ lower myself to his standards. Probably, if I just remained silent, he would leave me alone.

.

Fat chance, seeing he didn't in these past two years.

I should have chosen my seat more carefully. Too late now.

Why was he sitting here alone, anyway? I glanced along the Gryffindor table to see James frowning a little at Sirius as if he was deep in thought. Lupin and Pettigrew were just talking to each other. As I watched, James glance flicked to me and his eyes widened slightly. I looked away, embarrassed, wondering why he was looking at me like that.

On second thought, finding _me_ staring at you would be a tad bit disturbing.

Or maybe more than that.

"Why aren't you with your sidekicks today, Black?" I taunted, looking coldly at Black. To hell with my silence. I just can't seem to be able to keep quiet these days. "Oh, but my bad. _You_ are their sidekick, not the other way round, right? Seeing how utterly despicable you are, I'm not surprised they abandoned you."

His grey eyes were ice cold. "It's something called _friends_, Kent," he smirked. "Not that you'd know anything about that."

"I know much more than you could possibly imagine, Black." I snapped.

Black's face arranged itself into a disbelieving look. "Yes, and you clearly showed us that two years ago." My stomach swooped. "When you abandoned and humiliated them. Shall I rattle your memories?"

"I never abandoned anyone." I said through gritted teeth. Oh no, it was the _other_ way round.

"Yes, it wasn't _you_ who did that to Evans, was it?" he snarled.

I glared at him furiously. Who was he to remind me what I had or hadn't done? It had happened two flipping years, for Merlin's sake. Did he still use _that_ as an excuse to torture me? Probably got some sick pleasure from it too.

Before I could retort, however, a silence fell through on the Hall. McGonagall had entered, followed by awe-struck to terrified first years.

I caught sight of Steven as the Sorting started. The kid looked pretty terrified. I found myself painfully hoping that he wouldn't be in _my_ house.

You want to know why?

The only empty seats were around me.

Sirius Black was seated across me.

Steven was bound to talk to me.

In front of him.

And what would he do?

The same thing as last year.

I shuddered.

But of course, I had the worst luck in the world.

"Boyle, Steven!"

Steven stumbled forward and sat down, before the hat was placed on his head.

There was a moment's silence, then—

"_Gryffindor_!"

Did I mention I hate the Sorting Hat?

Steven happily skipped off, beaming, as our house applauded. I tried to become invisible in my seat, while he gazed for empty seats, which were all around me, of course.

"Lisa!" he squealed from beside me. I opened my eyes to look his face, bright with delight.

I don't think closing your eyes makes you invisible.

"Hey!" I said weakly, aware of Black watching the exchange carefully.

"I made it! I made into Gryffindor!" he squealed.

Really? Wow! That's great!

.

Enough with the exclamation marks already!

"I thought you wanted to be in Ravenclaw?" I asked. His smile slid off a little.

Then it came back in full force. I was surprised his face didn't hurt from that wide smile. "But Gryffindor's great too!"

How very wrong he was.

"Sure." I grimaced.

That was when Black decided to interfere.

"Of course it is! Welcome to Gryffindor, the best house there is, little one." Yes, I'm sure he just _loved_ being called that. "I'm Sirius Black, the biggest prankster Hogwarts has ever seen." He proceeded to grin mischievously.

To my horror, Steven looked impressed.

"And who has an ego bigger than the castle itself." I added scowling at him.

Did I seriously say that?

Oh help me, somebody. I sounded like Evans! Apparently, staying in her company for even two minutes is contagious.

Even if it _was_ true that he was an arrogant, conceited jerk—

.

Shut up, traitorous thoughts.

"Is he your boyfriend?" asked Steven, jumping in his seat in an excited manner.

I think I just about died. This kid is severely delusional. Ugh! ... I'm gagging right now.

"What the hell?" I spat in disgust. "Do I look like a slag to you?"

Steven looked horrified. I realised too late that I shouldn't swear in front of kids. Oops?

Black shot me a furious look. The truth is a terrible thing, Black. "Her?" he said, his face contorted in disgust. "As if I would look twice at _that_. Puh-lease, I've much better class than to be with _Voldemort's_ daughter."

He had done it now. Anger rose palpably through my arms, and it took all of my will power to not attack him. "Go to hell, Black!" I snarled, clenching my hands into fists under the table.

Unfortunately, Steven took my response as an affirmative to Black's statement. He whimpered in horror, shifting away from me slowly.

I rolled my eyes in extreme irritation. "Oh, yes. My father is the infamous You-Know-Who. I really wanted to keep that a secret. You caught me, Black." I said with awful sarcasm.

I expected Steven to laugh. Instead, he squeaked and shifted as far away from me as possible, his face white.

Sarcasm is lost on the people of lower intellect, it seems. No wonder he didn't make it into Ravenclaw.

Were all Gryffindors this thick? It was at moments like these that I wished I was in Ravenclaw. Then I remembered that I would have to share a dorm with Marlene and Rachel in that case. I shuddered.

Well, isn't it good to know that life could be much worse?

Black was sniggering at my failed attempts. What would I not give to murder him in his sleep tonight? Unfortunately, I don't think murder would look good on my resume.

I sighed in defeat as another Gryffindor joined us and sat between Steven and me. I had known this would happen sooner or later, but I still hoped that there would be just one more person who didn't believe I was evil.

Black, thankfully, remained quiet during the feast. I really didn't think I could take any more before cursing him into the next century. Even though my appetite was considerably lost at having to see his face every time I glanced up, it could have been worse.

I think that would be my constant refrain from now on. _It could be much worse_. See? I already feel a little more cheerful.

When the feast was over, Dumbledore stood up beaming, like he was truly happy to see us there. The sight made me feel a little warmth through the ice cold hatred that surrounded me.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, old and new students! I would like to tell the first years that Hogwarts is just your second home..."

I scoffed openly, "He has obviously not tried being me here." Black shot me a look, but I turned away, not wanting to look at his sneering expression.

"...I am pleased to welcome to new teachers to our school this year." Dumbledore was saying. "First, Professor Freestone has consented to be the teacher for Defence Against the Dark Arts." There was a smattering of polite applause, as professor smiled kindly around. "As to our second appointment, well, I'm sorry to inform you that Professor Delworth retired last year." There was an enthusiastic applause around. I concealed a grin. Dumbledore looked like he was concealing a smile too.

"About time!" somebody yelled from the Ravenclaw table. I had a very shrewd suspicion who it was. I giggled, ignoring Black's surprised stare. It was no secret that Jatin hated Delworth. It was because Delworth had been obsessed with him, continually telling him that he looked like her son or that he would make a great Seer. I was a little disappointed that she had retired. Well, all good things come to an end.

"However, I am pleased to tell you that Professor Trelawney will fill the post of the Divination teacher." There was a rather lukewarm applause.

"Gee! She looks like a glittering insect!" said Black to no one in particular. The first years around laughed.

Dumbledore waited till the noise had died down and then continued. "Now, as all of you are aware, a certain Dark Wizard named Lord Voldemort and his followers are at large and gaining at strength."

The silence in the Hall was resounding as I felt the trickle of fear in my stomach. "The situation at present is very dangerous, and I urge all of you to follow your teachers' rules to ensure that we remain safe. The castle's fortifications have been strengthened over the summer; however we cannot but be extra careful. I trust you all to abide by the restrictions imposed on you— in particular, the rule that you are not to be out of bed after hours. If anyone of you should notice anything strange or suspicious, I beseech you to inform a member of staff immediately."

Dumbledore's gaze swept through the serious faces of the students. "The situation is panicky enough without additional rumours." His gaze lingered on Black and I had the strange feeling that somehow, Dumbledore knew all about my situation. "I expect that none of you would make the situation worse."

I glanced at him to see that he looked a little uncomfortable. I glared at him. Was he really a human? Would he ever feel guilty?

"However, now your beds await you, warm and comfortable. I'm not going to rob you all of your sleep anymore. Goodnight."

I walked through the crowd, trying my best to ignore the glares I was receiving. Their number had elevated significantly since the episode at the party. I just trudged along, wishing to be invisible.

When I finally reached my dormitory, it was to notice that the rest of them were already there. Evans shot me a furious glare, but the for the most part ignored me as I opened my trunk and set my things perfectly on my table.

"Freak," muttered Mary, as she pushed past me, shoving me in the shoulder deliberately. I rolled my eyes. She needed to work up on her insults. Rachel could give her free lessons.

When I finally fell into my bed in my pyjamas and shut my hangings that night, I just wished I was a nobody. That no one would notice me if I walked by, prank me or taunt me. Being a nobody had to be better, right? I laughed at the irony of the statement. _Once upon a time I had known all about being that, _was my last thought as I drifted off into fitful slumber.

The memory came back in full force, starting to play in my head like a tape, as if it was just waiting for me to fall asleep.

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><p><strong>AN: **I know I'm evil :P. But you'll come to know what happens in the next chapter.

Now, before all those canon freaks pelt me with rotten tomatoes, saying that Trewlawney wasn't at Hogwarts until later, I'll just say- I know what I'm doing. You'll come to know later ;)

This chapter was short by my standards, but I've an entrance exam coming up, so wish me luck?

A big thanks to everyone who has added this to their favourites/alerts and reviewed. :)


	7. Drowning In The Past

**Disclaimer: Insert witty remark to the effect that Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling here.**

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><p><strong>Drowning In The Past<strong>

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title.**  
><strong>~Virginia Woolf<strong>

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><p><em>I pushed my Potions essay away from me and massaged my fingers. Well, at least I had completed my homework. I glanced at my bedside clock and nearly screamed. It was five minutes to ten. I jumped up, shoving my parchment into my bag with one hand and wrapping a scarf around my neck with another. Evans and her gang wouldn't leave me behind if I was a few minutes late, would they?<em>

_Oh, who am I kidding? Of course they would. And Dorcas would go with them, not wanting to speak up against them._

_So, all in all, the prospect of going to Hogsmeade alone was not a cool one, even by my standards. I almost flew down the stairs in my hurry to get to the Entrance Hall. The common room was almost empty, further elevating my panic. I wrenched the portrait door and dashed across the corridor, ignoring the Fat lady's scolding about inconsiderate students._

_I was already out of breath as I dashed down another corridor._

_Sigh. I was really out of shape._

_Just as I was approaching the corridor's end, trying to catch my breath, a voice drifted around the corner, making me halt in my tracks._

"_...and lilies will fall from the ceiling..." James Potter was saying._

_Um, what?_

_I tiptoed until I was at the edge of the wall and peered around the corner into the next corridor. Standing in the middle were three Gryffindor boys and one love of my life._

_Well, he's technically not 'the love of my life', but that sounds much better than 'the boy, who I'm pining after and who doesn't know I exist', doesn't it?_

_I thought so._

_Man, my life is sad._

_I smiled as I saw him speaking in his slightly cocky manner, his hand making his dark hair messier._

_Don't look at me like that. I wasn't some creepy stalker. Nor did I frequently eavesdrop on people's conversation. But I couldn't just walk past him. What if he noticed me? I was positive I would end up doing something weird, like blurting out random things. What can I say? He makes me nervous._

_And what if he didn't notice me? What if he didn't even glance at me? I would be desolate for whole of the day and my Hogsmeade trip will be even more ruined._

_See? It was a lose-lose situation. So I was just going to stand here and gaze at James, until they moved away. Which they were bound to, soon, as it was their first Hogsmeade trip too._

_I'm a genius, aren't I?_

"_Oh, James," Remus interjected whatever James was saying. "Why don't you just go to her and ask her _normally_."_

_James looked outraged at Remus' amused tone. What were they planning _now_? Couldn't they just move away? What kind of place it was to discuss pranks, anyway? Shouldn't they have a secret meeting place or something? I mean, they named themselves 'Marauders', for heaven's sake._

_I tucked my head back in, leaning against the wall and trying to control my impatience. If they didn't move in a couple of minutes, I would just have to walk past them. _It would be easy enough Lisa,_ I told myself_, just don't look at him or stare at him or...or even glance at him, okay?

_Easier said than done. _

"_...but we are the _Marauders_!" James was saying. "And—,"_

_He paused._

_I peered around the corner again in curiosity._

_James was _blushing_?_

"_And what, James?" said Sirius, with a smirk playing on his lips, leaning against the wall opposite, looking nonchalant and a little haughty as usual._

"_And...and um...yeah...that's all...yeah," he stuttered, his hand messing up his hair. O-kay? What had happened to make James this embarrassed?_

"_Just admit it James," Sirius taunted, grinning. "You luuurve Evans! You think she's beuuuu-ti-ful."_

_My stomach swooped._

_The others laughed as James looked a little embarrassed. "Maybe," he muttered, his hand trying to flatten his hair._

_Sirius laughed. "I knew it! Since when have you tried that hard to impress a girl? I mean, asking Evans in the middle of the Great Hall? You sure you aren't asking her to marry you?"_

"_Do you think she would say yes?" asked James, in a most un-James way, ignoring their laughter._

_He was serious. He wasn't being suave or arrogant. He sounded anxious and unconfident._

_He was being real._

_I gulped the lump in my throat as Sirius clapped him on the back. "Of course she would, mate! How could she resist our charms?"_

_I sighed, unsurprised. That was _such_ a 'Sirius' thing to say._

"_You're right," replied James, regaining his arrogant manner and grinning like a loon. "I bet she finds me irresistible. With my obvious wit and debonairness, she'll be floored at dinner."_

_Peter was looking admiringly at James. I mean, who wouldn't? I think my expression matched his a few moments ago._

_Remus looked like he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes._

"_Sure," he said._

_James missed the sarcasm._

"_Ooh..." he exclaimed, as if he had had a sudden revelation. I snuck my head back in, my heart swooping at the thought that he had seen me ogling at him creepily. "Do you think it should be lilies or roses? I mean, I know her name is Lily, but what if she hates lilies? I mean it's a kind of...Heck! I don't even know her favourite flowers! What if she's allergic? What-what if the charm doesn't work on time? Or..."_

_James' panicky voice was fading, and I assumed they were finally walking away, discussing this 'Grand Prank'- if you could call it that. More like the 'Grand Propose-Evans-Moment'._

_I could almost picture his friends' exasperated or in Sirius' case, amused expressions as James' endless what-ifs faded away, leaving a ringing silence in their wake._

_A ringing silence, which left the previously said words hanging in the air, tempting me to take the bait and start screaming. Jealousy bubbled like acid in my stomach and ragged breaths escaped my mouth._

_I really was pathetic, wasn't I? Crying over a boy._

_I rubbed my eyes furiously to rid them of traitorous tears._

This isn't the end of everything,_ I told myself weakly, _maybe James will take her out and finally see how snobbish she is and dump her for good.

_I was never a very good liar; I didn't convince myself._

_Lily Evans was pretty and intelligent and _nice_, and I resented her for that. She was a girl any guy would go after. I was not. I was average and sarcastic and...invisible._

_My throat was clenching painfully as I continued on my way. Thankfully, the marauders were nowhere to be seen._

At dinner. Tonight.

_I screwed my face, determined not to cry. I didn't know why I was so upset. I mean, it had been obvious that those two fancied each other for ages. But I suppose, I had still stupidly hoped for the opposite._

"You luuurve Evans! You think she's beeuuu-ti-ful!"

_The words hurt. A lot._

_As I approached the last stragglers in the Entrance Hall, envy reared its ugly head in my stomach, making me clench my jaw in annoyance. I didn't want to spend my day with Evans. Not after this. I doubt I could ever see her happy face again, without feeling sick._

_My stomach relaxed with blissful relief as I realised that none of my 'friends' were to be seen. They had left without me, hadn't they? Obviously. That was what I was. _Forgettable Lisa Kent_, I thought bitterly._

_And even though I was grateful for not having to deal with Lily 'I'm-so-loveable' Evans, I could do with a best friend. Or even a friend. I wanted to mope._

_I approached Filch, who was glaring nastily at me, and showed him my permission slip. He squinted at it suspiciously and finally nodded, scowling and poking me with secrecy sensor. When the check was complete, I stepped out into the cold air and I started my melancholy walk to Hogsmeade._

_Was it pitiable that I found Filch's company more endearing than my own thoughts'?_

_I guess it was._

_My thoughts swirled around in my brain, stinging and making me feel worse by the second._

_I was so lost in my miserable thoughts that I didn't notice where I was going until I looked up and realised I was in the middle of a crowded street. A little excited despite myself, I roamed around, not entering any shop, just window shopping._

_Once, I saw Dorcas, Lily, Mary -and was that_ Marlene_? -walking past me from the opposite side, all of them giggling. I looked away childishly, not wanting to look at Evans._

_Well, wasn't it good to know that my best friend didn't care about where I was?_

_My sarcasm was making me sick. Maybe that's why people forgot about me. After all, no one liked sarcastic, bitter people._

_They didn't notice me, even though that part of the village was pretty deserted. Just some sixth year boys were guffawing in the corner, me walking alone and them, on the other side of the street. It wasn't that hard to miss me._

_But they did._

_Gee, I sure do _love_ being invisible._

_I just walked in the opposite direction, trying to look happy. I could enjoy by myself, couldn't I?_

_A moment later, I was turning around and walking quickly after them as they disappeared from view, into a side street._

_Turns out I couldn't._

_I decided that I would just ask Dorcas to come with me and hope that she would comply. She would do that for her best friend, wouldn't she?_

_The turn that the events took was something I could never have imagined._

_I should have considered my bad luck since morning as a premonition. But I was a naive, naive third year and thought things in my life couldn't get worse._

_The funny –and the most certain –thing about life is, it can always get worse._

_I hurried after them, resolute to shun my pride and grovel at Dorcas' feet if I had to, to get her away from them. I huffed from the lack of air, making a mental note to exercise more, and marvelling how they had gotten so far in such a short span of time. Leaning against a wall, I breathed deeply. The cold air was doing nothing from getting my air back and I was positive that my face was red._

_Clutching the stitch in my side, I finally turned into the alley in which they had disappeared._

_The sight in front of me made my eyes widen._

_Severus Snape was sprawled in the middle of the alley, soap bubbles covering his entire face, making it look like it was covered in pink hair. Standing over him were Marlene and Mary, while Dorcas hung back, looking awkward and Evans looked torn and guilty, but made no step to move from her position behind Dor._

_Shoving aside the small crowd that was watching the show, I pushed myself towards the scene._

"_Your hair looks much better now, Snape," Marlene said loudly over the laughing, clutching two wands in her hand. "And so does your face."_

_The students laughed at Snape's immobile figure. With a rush of understanding, I realised he must be under the Body-Bind Curse._

_Now, I was not some chivalrous person. Neither was I one for confrontations. Many people were bullied at Hogwarts, for various reasons, but I had never acted like a Knight in Shining Armour or something. But it was Evans' guilty expression that set my blood boiling. It was this girl that James fancied over me. This was the girl that Snape chose to be friends with instead of me. And where did it get him? On the ground, immobile and humiliated. All I knew was that I had never hated Evans than I did at that moment. She could scream at the Marauders for the smallest pranks, but she couldn't stand up against her friends for some bloody reputation? She chose her friends over her best friend?_

_I had known for a fact that Marlene was very good at magic, unlike me and going against her was just asking for trouble._

_But logic and common sense had flown out of the window, and it was in desperation that I finally slipped around some Hufflepuffs and cried "Finite Incantatem!", my wand pointed at Snape's motionless figure. I had never used the spell before, and it was a surprise that I saw Snape move and wipe his face._

_Every one turned to me in shock, but I ignored all of them. Approaching Snape, I held out a hand, but he got up himself, his face cold and full of loathing. Towards _me_. My temper rose again and I whipped around to see Marlene looking at me with narrowed eyes. She was afraid to attack, I knew she was. I was unknown territory and she, being, a Ravenclaw, was more clever than daring. I gripped my wand tightly, but otherwise ignored her, and glared directly at Evans, who looked very uncomfortable and guiltier than ever._

"_Some friend you are, Evans!" I snarled in her face, as the crowd talked in hushed voices._

"_Leave her alone." Snape said coldly from behind me. I could tell he was furious. At me._

_I swivelled back around. "Why? Isn't she the same person who just watched you get cursed, without saying a single word?" I snapped._

"_Nobody asked you to interfere!" he snapped back._

"_How did coming to Hogsmeade alone go then, _Snape_?" I knew I was lashing out at everybody, but I couldn't help it. I was feeling very vindictive._

_From the corner of my eye, I saw Marlene raise her wand and I ducked just in time._

_Gritting my teeth, I raised my own, not wanting to start a duel. "Think you can duel me, whoever you are?" she said disdainfully, cocking an eyebrow. I knew she was waiting for me to attack first. Ha! As if._

"_Leave it, Marlene." Evans said firmly, while looking at me defiantly. Seemed like she had regained her pride quickly._

"_Excuse me?" replied Marlene, outraged, as she turned to look at Evans. Apparently, nobody had said that to her before. I scowled as Evans gripped her arm and said something in a low voice to her. Marlene huffed and turned to walk away, Mary following her and shooting me a glare._

"_You got off easy today, Miss No-Name," said Marlene condescendingly as she moved away. My insides were smouldering with hatred, and I was itching to say something as they all started walking away. Dorcas was looking pleadingly at me, but I turned away petulantly._

_She sighed and I thought that she, for once, might stay with me. I was wrong. The crowd was dispersing and Snape had mysteriously vanished, without his wand, I might add, and I found myself suppressing the urge to call after Evans and give her a piece of my mind._

_The memory of James' dreamy look came back to me, followed by Snape's look of pure loathing. I deserved none of that. A mix of rage and jealousy fuelled me to do what I did next. Something I was going to regret for years later._

_The last remnants of rationality were lost and I shouted after Evans with a roar that echoed in the space, "You are such a wimp, Evans! No wonder the only person who even pretends to like you is Potter!"_

_A confused and shocked silence met my outburst, as most people turned back to look at me, ceasing their conversations._

"_What do you mean _pretends_, Kent?" snarled Evans, glaring at me, but I could see the apprehension in her eyes as to what I might say. She truly liked him too. This made me more furious than ever and I wanted to hurt her, as much as James had unwittingly hurt me._

"_It's obvious, isn't it?" I taunted. "I thought, you Evans, of all people would have figured it out by now, seeing the way you show off your 'wit'." I made quotation marks in the air with my fingers._

"_Don't waste our time with stupid riddles, Melissa, if you can't come up with any insults!" This was Mary, of course, thick as ever._

_I looked at her disdainfully. "I think you'd deserve what is going to happen to you today, Evans," I said, arrogantly. I didn't know what was making me act like this. This just wasn't me. I think Dorcas noticed too, because she was frowning at me as the few people who had gathered again held their breath for the latest piece of gossip. "But being the kind person I am, I'm going to tell you."_

_Nobody was speaking, though Evans looked furious and fearful all in one._

"_Do you know why James Potter has been flirting with you all of this week, Evans?" I said with a vindictive pleasure. "Even though all you've ever done is shout at him?" Muttering broke out at this, but I continued relentlessly. "He wanted to get back at you. For ratting him out to McGonagall the other day?" I said, referring to his last prank. "So, he decided the best way was to humiliate you." Evans face was a little pale, as if such a thought had never occurred to her. "By asking you out at dinner tonight." A sharp intake of breath. "And then dumping you in front of the whole school. Clever right?"_

_A horrible billowing silence filled the air. In that moment everyone's faces were of shock. The tension in the air was almost static._

_As if my spiteful side hadn't had enough, I decided to add, "He never really liked you, Evans. Nobody could ever like _you_—,"_

_That's when her curse hit me, making my skin erupt in painful hives. I howled, falling to the ground, and writhing in pain. Evans expression was wild and frenzied, making her look very dangerous._

_I realised too late that James was going to get hell tonight. That was all it took to break me out of my possessed state. Oh, no. What had I _done_? Evans shot me a last disgusted look, before she stomped off her head held high. Mary followed her. I recoiled at the lie I had spewed out. Why had I done that? _

_The crowd was shouting, muttering or gossiping. Dorcas looked at me, covered in hives and unable to move, and I almost expected her to come rushing to me._

_Almost._

_The next moment, she had vanished, leaving me in my sad state, without another look. _

_What had I done?_

_It had been a moment of insanity. Dementia._

_I had lain there, as the alley slowly deserted, but nobody had bothered to even help me up. I don't think I noticed my state. My mind was busy forming gruesome possibilities of what might happen at Hogwarts today. When the news reaches James Potters' ears, thanks to gossip queen Marlene. He would hate me forever and ever._

_This time I knew, I _so_ knew, that much, much worse was to come._

I gasped as my eyes flew open. Ragged breaths were shaking my body and I sat up, hugging myself to calm my body down. Running a hand through my hair, a habit I had picked up from watching James, I thought of that day's events, despite my will. Lying on the cold floor until miraculously, somehow Madam Rosmerta, as she had introduced herself, had found me and taken me to the castle.

I had the suspicion (or was it some wishful hope?) that Dorcas had informed her of my predicament. But the fact that she had left me alone, even though she didn't know at the time that I'd spoken a lie, had hurt a lot.

The memory had been so clear, as if it had been waiting to play itself out. I groaned silently in frustration. There it was again, that eerie feeling like an important part of my memory was missing. It felt incomplete.

Which was obviously not possible. Because that was one day that I could never forget even if I wanted.

I sighed, laying back again and staring at the dark canopy above me. As far as I knew, people didn't dream about actual memories in striking clarity. Even if the memory was about the worst day of their lives.

I pulled the hanging aside a little with one hand and saw that it was still dark outside. Five o'clock, my clock said.

I was tired, as if I had not slept at all. My eyelids drooped, as many thoughts floated into my mind.

I had changed in the past two years. I was still the sarcastic, bitter person that I had been all my life. And I still fancied James Potter like hell. But I didn't cry anymore. And I certainly didn't feel hurt whenever I looked at my ex-best friend. You could say I had become what everyone had accused me of being then. Cold. Indifferent. I shrugged; I didn't care.

I realised now with a bitter laugh, that I had never been Dorcas' best friend, or even good friend. She had been mine. It had been always me, who had called us that. Best friends. Not her. She had never wanted me.

Nobody had. I used to wish I wasn't just a nobody. That James would notice me. Snape would talk to me (he had been my role model for cynicism). That I had more friends. In short, I had wanted to be everything that Evans was. I had wished I wasn't just a wallflower. Too much to wish for, eh?

Fate had granted my wish. Or at least a part of it. Sometimes I think fate has a twisted sense of humour.

* * *

><p>"Lisa!" said Jatin enthusiastically as I approached his side of the Ravenclaw table. "My favourite girl! It has been ages!"<p>

Several Ravenclaw girls glared from their seats. Well, everyone except Rachel, who smiled sweetly at me. That smile held the promise of a painful death. I admit that I was a little scared.

Eh, I think reverse psychology actually works.

The thing about Rachel is that she is all dandy and flowery and happy and nice to everyone around her, _but me_. I really don't get it, because I haven't done a single thing in my life to offend her. It's like she hates me for existing.

Well, if that was the case, I couldn't really blame her, could I?

Jatin was beaming at me from over his toasts.

I looked at him weirdly as I slid in next to him. "Er...it has only been twelve hours, remember?" I said, tapping his head with my hand.

He pushed it away, scowling as I said, "Wow, I almost expected it to sound hollow."

"Erm, what are you doing?" he asked, as I patted the seat thoroughly before sitting down.

"Looking for possible pranks." I replied in a 'duh' voice.

Jatin nibbled his toast thoughtfully. "Isn't it a bit early for that? It's only the first day back—,"

"This year has been worse!" I cried, slowly handling a goblet of pumpkin juice. "And Black hasn't attacked me yet. For turning him pink or bruising his ribs or—,"

Jatin grinned. "This year has been better."

"Of course it has," I muttered darkly, sniffing the juice. "For you."

"How can you not be happy?" he said incredulously. "Delworth's gone!"

I shrugged, taking a small sip experimentally. "I liked her." Jatin looked flabbergasted. I grinned. "Didn't you? You looked exactly like her _son_." I said slyly.

He scowled, turning away. A moment later he grinned again. Talk about bipolar. "But she's gone!"

"The new one doesn't look any better, either." I commented lightly.

Jatin squinted at the staff table. "She's not here."

I looked too. Yep, she was nowhere to be seen. Neither was the DADA professor. "Must be preparing for their classes."

Jatin's eyes widened suddenly. "Hey!" he exclaimed, slapping a hand over his face. "We're such big fools, honestly!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Our Divination Professor! She could be the one you were telling me about, remember? A new female?" he raised his eyebrows, expecting me to remember.

"Oh!" I said as everything dawned on me. That conversation with Reg seemed eons ago. "Oh."

"Is that all you can say?" said Jatin, amused. Then without waiting for a reply, he continued. "Though I know what you mean. A little anticlimactic, eh? She looked like she couldn't hurt a fly."

"Looks can be deceiving." I said knowledgeably.

"You're right," replied Jatin. "The only way she could be a danger is if she tripped on her shawls and fell down a staircase, taking everyone with her."

I laughed. "Okay, okay. You win. Reg was right, Moody is paranoid." I stated.

We ate the breakfast in companionable silence, only because Jatin was too busy stuffing his face to talk.

"Whagh?" he asked through a mouthful of toast, as I looked pointedly at him. I merely looked disgusted and he shrugged, and went back to eating. Honestly, how can boys eat so much?

"Where are your friends, anyway?" I asked, attempting to slow down his eating.

"Lahbrahree," he replied.

I gaped. Library already? Ravenclaws were _such_ nerds. "But it's the first day back!"

He shrugged again, and my efforts proved futile, I said, "Look, I'm going to go take my timetable, alright?" as McGonagall descended from the Staff Table.

I don't think he even heard.

I approached the Gryffindor table amongst more glares. Seriously! Didn't these people get bored?

McGonagall was handling over the timetables to –_ugh_- the Marauders.

"Thank you, Minnie!" smirked Black, as McGonagall pursed her lips, but said nothing. This had happened so many times that I'm sure she felt useless to even reprimand him.

I scowled, folding my arms behind McGonagall's back. Of course, Sirius Black got away with everything.

The said Sirius Black caught my eye and shot me a challenging look. I didn't know what that was for unless it was the 'I'm-going-to-make-your-life-hell-and-you-won't-be-able-to-stop-me' look, which he sent me every year.

Uh, that must be it. I'm a little thick in the mornings.

"Thanks, Professor." I said as she handed me the time-table.

"Miss Kent, are you alright?" she asked with a kind undertone that made me look up at her face in surprise.

"Um...yes. Why?" I asked, surprised where this was coming from. I was as good as I could ever be at Hogwarts.

"Miss Kent, you spent two weeks at St. Mungo's and you don't expect your teachers to ask about your well being?"She asked disbelievingly.

"Oh, yeah," I said. "I'm fine."

"Your aunt wrote to me and demanded weekly checkups at the Hospital Wing." I blushed, realising that Black was eavesdropping stealthily.

"But I'm perfectly okay!" I protested.

"You haven't been having any headaches, have you?" she asked sternly.

I shook my head. "Very well, then." she turned to move. "If you have any problems, you're to come to me, understand?"

I nodded. Truth be told, McGonagall frightened me a little.

"And I expect you to get better results in Transfiguration this year, Miss Kent." Black sniggered. I resisted the urge to throttle him.

I nodded dumbly, knowing that was impossible, even though this was our O.W.L. year.

With that, she turned away, resuming handing down the slips.

I sighed, going back to Jatin. I was _so_ going to kill Reg for tattling to McGonagall. I was a big girl, not a child! Weekly checkups, really?

"What have you got first?" asked Jatin, having (thankfully) finished his breakfast.

I smiled as I observed schedule. "Potions!' I said excitedly.

Jatin made a face. "How can you like that class...?"

"Hey, it's my favourite subject!" I said defensively. "And...Whoa! It's not with the Slytherins!"

I was shocked. That was a first. This class was going to be loads better.

Jatin observed his. "We haven't got Transfiguration together this year, either."

I blanched. "What?" I said faintly. "But...but it's O.W.L. year! I'm so going to fail!" I wailed.

"Cheer up!" Jatin said chirpily. "This will teach you to be independent."

I shot him a dark look. "Whatever." I said sulkily. "I'm going to Potions."

"Bye, love!" called Jatin, when I was half way towards the doors. The glares returned with full force.

I groaned. I'll kill Reg later. I'm going to kill Jatin first.

Various plans of revenge floating in my mind, I entered the dismal classroom in the dungeon. I was early, so the room was empty, except for Slughorn who was bustling about.

He didn't notice me, as usual. I think that's why I liked this class. Slughorn never noticed me or my potion, whether the latter was excellent or poor.

Ah, the irony.

I slid down quietly into my usual seat at the back as the class slowly filled. I kept my eyes glued on the blackboard, ignoring everyone. I wondered whether Black would attack me in this class. It would be easy. Just slipping a wrong ingredient into my cauldron and letting the resulting explosion do the work.

The last person to enter was surprisingly Evans, who had a murderous look in her green eyes. She was glaring around at us all, as if she wanted to kill us all just for taking her air or something. James was gulping in the corner.

As she stomped in, Slughorn said jovially, "Oho! Miss Evans! So glad to have you back! I trust you had a good summer?"

Her face automatically arranged itself into a smile. "Of course, Professor. You?"

"It was great! Thank you for the concern, child!" Huh, concern. As if.

I knew why Evans was so angry, obviously. I smirked as I saw her face. Our class wasn't with the Slytherins this year, so she won't be able to partner with Snape, the best potioneer.

Pooh, how sad.

Evans was good at Potions, but she wasn't as good as me. I'm not being arrogant or anything...eh, who cares. I'm better than her and it's the truth. Though, none of us could ever compare to Snape. Having him as a partner had been an advantage for her all these years. Not this year, though.

I laughed to myself. It sounded rather evil.

The Hufflepuff in the next row scooted away.

Slughorn started the lecture with the importance of O.W.L.s and I tuned him out. I didn't need to listen to that. Reg had been lecturing me for whole of the holidays.

"—I shall be deciding your seating arrangement—,"

Wait, what?

"So, Miss Evans with Mr. Black."

I grinned. This class got better and better. That would make Evans' day.

"...Mr. Pettigrew with Mr. Abbott..."

Hmm... I wondered who I would be paired with. A Hufflepuff would be easy to work with...

"...Mr. Potter and Miss Kent..."

My insides vanished. At least it felt like it. Please tell me I didn't hear that right. Please, please...

Oh, no...James was looking at me from his seat, motioning me to come over. My face beetroot red, I stood over on shaking legs and picked up my bag and cauldron.

Maybe I spoke too soon when I thought that this was bad.

Guess who was sitting behind him?

Evans. And Black.

Kill me now.

Double potions with two people who hated my guts and the subject of my fancying?

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sooo? You finally know what happened! Sort of. There's still more to the memory though. I was really tempted to cut this in half, but I'm feeling happy today (my exam went well), so you get an early plus long chapter :D

Do you hate Lisa for what she did too? I know I did. A little. Just a little.

And do you think Lily was a li'l OOC? I just wanted to show that she was only 13 years old. Plus there is difference between standing up against your enemy and standing up against your friends, right?

Hmm..I'm getting wise... :P

What did you think? Suggestions? Rants? Raves? Advice? Random smiley faces? I want hear all, :)

**PS-** I've just written a one-shot based on this story. You could check it out if you like. I think it would provide more base to this story. It's set in Lisa's third year, one month after the above incident.;)


	8. The Disaster That Was Potions

**Disclaimer: You know, there's a funny story relating to this. You see, my great aunt's cousin by marriage twice-removed had a friend whose daughter...**

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><p><strong>The Disaster that Was Potions<strong>

* * *

><p>Alas, I emerge from one disaster to fall into a worse.<br>~**Pierre Corneille**

* * *

><p>My stomach flipped in acute nervousness as I approached him.<p>

_What do I say to him? _Should_ I say something?_

_Hello_?

Nah, too formal.

_Hi_?

Too friendly.

_Hiya_?

I would look like an idiot.

Oooh, I know! I would just wait for him to say something.

I'm so brilliant, that I surprise myself.

_If he ignores me, I will do the same. But if he talks to me_... my insides trembled in anticipation.

There he sat, chatting with Black and occasionally sending a wink at Evans, whose expression was darker than his hair.

What did he see in her? The girl had fangs, for Merlin's sake!

Not that he could see those often when he was around her. I bet if she actually _grinned_ in front of him, he would run away screaming.

_Or maybe not_, my brain responded, as I saw him beam at her even though she had a very ugly look on her face right now.

Shut up, brain.

James looked up as I slid down next to him and clumsily adjusted my cauldron. I couldn't believe my hands were actually shaking. So much for acting cool.

James was looking curiously at me, so I looked down, letting my hair curtain the dark the blush creeping up my neck. My brain wished desperately that he would look elsewhere. My stomach, on the other hand, was doing some weird flippy-floppy movements under his gaze and didn't want him to stop.

Why do I always end up confused around him?

"Er...hi..."

I looked up from the trembling hands on my lap in disbelief to see him smiling at me slightly.

My brain seemed to have jammed.

"You're Lisa, right?"

Had I died and gone to heaven? _He knows my name_! He knew _my_ name. My insides were dancing the tango quite vigorously by this point.

I just found myself dumbstruck, as I gazed into his hazel eyes behind those glasses. They seemed to twinkle, and I realised they were almost the same shade as mine, except mine never twinkled. They were dull; his were bright, always seemingly alight with mischief.

And both of us had dark hair, except mine were more brownish.

But same difference, really.

See? We were totally made for each other. A reason why we should just elope and get married, without any grumpy redheads interfering into our lives.

I realised too late that he was still waiting for a reply, while I ogled shamelessly at him. I immediately shut my mouth, feeling my face turn red.

Damn my pale skin! I silently cursed whichever parent had endowed me with this wonderful ability to blush at the tiniest feeling of embarrassment.

"Er...yeah." I muttered to my hands.

Of course Black had to interfere our romantic moment.

Hey, a girl can hope, right? In my mind, it _was_ a romantic moment, with us having this silent conversation with our eyes.

I suppose I've been reading too many romantic novels this summer.

"Bad luck, mate," said Black from behind me, leaning forward to clap James on the back. "To be stuck with _that_."

Black made a disgusted sound and I could only imagine the expression on his face. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the clenching of my stomach and gazed determinedly at Slughorn, who was shepherding the last of students into their new seats.

What would have I not given to punch Black in the face like Jatin before he could open his mouth. I couldn't even glance at James, I was so embarrassed.

Before James could agree, however, Slughorn started his lecture, informing us that he would be testing our previous knowledge for the O.W.L.s. We had to make Wit-Sharpening Potion, a fourth year one, which was pretty easy to brew.

However, I was finding it a little difficult to concentrate today, my attention frequently wandering towards James and the way he looked so casual and mischievous all the time. He often turned behind, talking to Black or trying to look charmingly at Evans, occasionally stirring his cauldron. He didn't talk to me again, however, but I didn't mind that much, strangely. He knew my name. At least he didn't call me _that girl_. Or the Incarnation of Evil.

Plus he sent me these occasional (okay, just _one_) smile that would make any girl melt.

All this James business hadn't made me forget about Black, or more specifically, what Black could _do_. So I kept a close eye on him as well, whenever he got up to get more ingredients from the front. My potion was coming along nicely, despite my distracted state, and I wanted to keep it that way, thank you very much.

"I _told_ you that we had to add only two crushed beetles, Black!" Evans' scathing voice interrupted my dreamy state. I glanced over my shoulder to see Evans looking smug and Black looking indifferent at the fate of his potion, which should have been a bright green colour by now, while his was a mysterious blue.

I sniggered with contempt to myself.

Until Black heard me. That was when I swivelled my head around completely and shot him a smug grin which might or might not have been eerily similar to Evans'.

"Pathetic, Black," I said with relish. "Unable to brew a simple fourth year potion? That is low, even by your standards." Okay, that might not have been _that_ pathetic, James' was a lime green and Pettigrew's was orange. But can you blame me, really? James was dawdling by the cupboard again, so it was my only chance to get back at Black for his remark earlier.

However, before Black could do more than narrow his eyes coolly and open his mouth to speak, a deafening explosion resonated across the dungeon room and an unseen force threw me straight into— Black's boiling cauldron. I barely had time to blink, let alone form a coherent thought when I crashed into it, successfully tipping whole of the desk— cauldron included— onto Black's body. A searing, burning pain across my torso was the last thing I felt before the headlong crash made me slip into oblivion.

* * *

><p>The first thing I felt was a searing, itching pain on my torso, causing me to take a shaky breath as I slowly regained consciousness.<p>

The second thing I felt was a bright, painful light poking my eyelids incessantly, waking me slowly from my slumber.

"Ow..." I grumbled in irritation as I raised a hand to shield my eyes. They flickered open slowly, pupils contracting as I adjusted to the light. Why was everything so freaking bright?

White ceiling stared back at me. I looked around, raising my head slowly, propped on my elbows. I was surrounded my white curtains and covered in white sheets.

Poor choice of colour combination, if you ask me.

I groaned as the events of my first class of the year came back to me— my cauldron had suspiciously exploded, leaving me covered in that boiling potion, hence the burning, itching pain all over my skin. Somebody must have taken me to the Hospital Wing.

Somehow, I doubted that that my perfect potion exploding had anything to do with me. Potions did not frequently explode on their own just for the heck of it, if I remembered correctly. I was just going to _kill_ whichever _prick_ had done this. Sadly though, I knew it wasn't Black as I had been smirking at him at that moment. This fact irritated me even more. Because it meant he had yet to give me usual dose of pain + humiliation this year.

I sat up properly, ignoring my immense discomfort, and it was now I realised that I was completely naked under the white sheets. This fact had eluded me until now. Burns make it difficult to feel anything apart from the demanding pain.

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed in horror and mortification, momentarily forgetting that I was a patient in the Hospital Wing, so my burns must have been being treated.

"Miss Kent!" a maternal voice gasped and seconds later Madam Pomfrey appeared by my bedside, slipping around the curtain. Her face relaxed when she realised that I wasn't being attacked by an invisible monster.

"Miss Kent," she repeated, this time sternly, pushing me back forcefully. "Don't get up! Your burns haven't been treated yet." She pried my finger away from where they were clutching the sheets desperately.

Lying back, I stared at the ceiling, trying unsuccessfully to distract myself from the building pain on my skin. It seemed to be getting more unbearable by the second, making me squirm in discomfort.

"Here it is," said Madam Pomfrey, reappearing again. I noticed that she carried a green lotion of some sort. It smelled unbearably bad.

"What is that?" I coughed, choking on the odour.

"It contains Dragon Meat," she said calmly over my renewed spluttering. "It's good for healing first degree burns. Lie back properly, now."

As she applied the paste (/meat?) on my skin, I felt a sense of staggering relief and coolness. Wow, this stuff was magical!

Uh, I suppose it _was_.

_Anyway_, when every burnt inch of my skin was covered and she drew back the sheets, I asked, "Do you know who did this?"

"Do what?" she asked absentmindedly, screwing back the lid.

"This!" I gestured to my body for emphasis.

She finally looked up. "Your own cauldron exploded, Miss Kent. That's not something anybody else can do."

"Hardly." I muttered with a snort.

She didn't seem to hear me.

"Just lie here for an hour," she said, bustling about. "By which time your burns will be completely healed."

"An hour!" I cried. I was going to miss Charms, the class Jatin and I had together.

I _liked_ Charms. Couldn't it have been Transfiguration?

Not fair.

"Yes, Miss Kent. An hour," said the matron sternly. "As for that head injury, I don't know whether any internal damage happened—,"

"Wha—?" My hand flew to my head and I felt the gauzy surface of the bandages on my fingertips.

"What happened?" I asked, feeling my forehead. It didn't seem to pain. I could remember crashing into something. Surely my head hadn't sustained an injury? Again?

"Your old wound opened up and it was bleeding heavily. It wasn't deep as far as I could tell, but—,"

"But couldn't you just find that out through a detection charm?" I asked, frowning.

For some reason, she looked very uncomfortable. And I had no idea why she should.

"Yes, yes of course," she said, looking flustered and rearranging the contents of a nearby table, for absolutely no reason. "I did, of course. But I thought that the patient should be asked for confirmation." She looked immensely relieved to come up with this explanation. If I didn't know better I would have said she was lying.

"How am I supposed to know that?" I asked. I couldn't help but feel a little suspicious at her behaviour— a proof that I was getting paranoid after all those months of prank attacks.

"Does the wound hurt, Miss Kent?" she asked, regaining her brisk manner at my question.

No it didn't. It felt— numb.

"No, it doesn't. It feels sort of numb." I repeated my thoughts.

She nodded, as if this was to be expected. "That's because it has just been healed. Alright, that's good." Her clipboard popped into her hands from nowhere. "Any headaches since the accident you had over the summer, Miss Kent?"

"Professor McGonagall told you, didn't she?" I asked tiredly, too er... tired to be angry. Yawn. I was feeling so exhausted all of a sudden, even though I had barely attended a single class. I didn't really sleep well last night. "No, I haven't. My head is perfectly fine and though I may scream at random moments, I _don't_ need psychiatric help."

Meh, I suppose that last bit wasn't needed.

Madam Pomfrey sent me a doubtful look. Gee, that _sure_ did wonders to my self esteem. Thank a lot, Madam Pomfrey.

"I'm perfectly okay, Merlin!" I groaned as she continued to check my pulse, head, eyes...

She almost acted like a Muggle Healer. I had only gone to one once to get vaccinated. Since that was ab-solute-lee essential, as my hundred year old Muggle neighbour had convinced Reg.

I had been eight. And deathly afraid of that huge needle. The healer had ended up running from the room, his pants on fire.

Literally.

I hadn't been a very intriguing kid and neither had been my accidental magic. While other kids probably transfigured things or flew around (unwittingly) at that age, I had always ended up setting things on fire.

Didn't like my dinner? On fire. Frilly frock that I hated? On fire. Kid trying to kiss me? On fire.

Reg used to say I had a fiery and spirited personality. She didn't say that anymore. It had been two years since I had ever been spirited or excited over anything.

"_Oh, hurry up!" I groaned. I was excited beyond belief._

_Dorcas laughed. "Calm down, Lisa! Filch will not open the gates until two hours later."_

"Can I ask you something, Madam Pomfrey?" I questioned, just as she was about to leave, reminding me (for the umpteenth time) to come to her immediately if my head injury gave me any trouble. Which it wasn't going to. Geez, lady! "If it was so important for me to have weekly checkups, why didn't the St. Mungo's staff inform us of that? I mean, I was at home for a month."

She muttered something that I didn't quite catch. I was feeling incredibly drowsy.

"I'm just following the instructions that your head of House gave me, Miss Kent. Now get some rest!" she snapped.

Hey, no need to get so defensive, woman. I was just asking a simple question.

_Hmm_... _suspicious_, I thought as my eyes flickered close and my senses dulled. She was acting so strangely...

I slept, dreaming of interesting scenarios, where James carried my wounded body from the class to this wing, whispering sweetly to me to wake up. _I love dreams_, I decided.

**.o0~0o.**

When I came to, it was already past an hour and my curtains had been drawn back. The nurse was beside the opposite bed mending a first year's broken ankle. I noticed my clothes were back on. She shouldn't really have used magic for that. I sighed, getting up.

The matron caught sight of me.

"You can open your bandages now!" she called, as the first year bounced off, his foot mended in an instant.

"Okay," I muttered, as she disappeared again.

When she reappeared, I realised she was carrying a small mirror and a tray full of food.

She placed the food on a table by my bed, and handed me the mirror.

"Have a look," she said.

I glanced at the mirror and grimaced. The scar was redder than before, obviously fresh and more gruesome.

"Ugh." I said, touching the puckered skin lightly. "Can't you heal this scar as well, Madam Pomfrey?"

" 'M afraid not," she replied, and momentarily, I saw the same uncomfortable look return. That was the same thing that the St. Mungo's staff had said.

"Why not?" I whined. Seriously, it would only take her a second. Surely, she wouldn't deny a whining girl?

"Let it heal by itself, Miss Kent!" she snapped. Huh, somebody was in a tetchy mood.

My incessant questions were seemingly irritating her. A lot. Well, _that_ was nothing new. I had been in the Hospital Wing far too many times for my liking (an obvious result of having the whole school after you), and I always seemed to annoy her.

"Have this food quickly and leave," she said, gesturing at the laden plate. I had the feeling that she would be glad to see the back of me. "Lunch is almost over. I don't want you missing any more of your classes."

As if I wanted to, in the first place. First day back and I already have catching up to do.

I shoved down the food quickly, mentally imagining that I must look worse than Jatin while doing this.

When I finished, I straightened my robes, brushed my fingers through my hair to make it lie flat and almost hide the scar. With an obnoxiously loud, "Goodbye, Madam Pomfrey!" skipped away from the dismal Wing.

The corridors were mostly empty as my made my way to the Divination classroom, which just happened to be the second and the last class I shared with the Ravenclaws, and subsequently, Jatin.

I pulled out my timetable again and looked at it. The classroom was situated in the topmost room of the North Tower. If only I knew where it was. And how many minutes were left before the class began.

I realised belatedly that I had a watch. Slapping my right hand to my forehead at my stupidity, I glanced at my left wrist. It was five minutes to class. I groaned. I would never get to the class on time. I _so_ didn't want a detention. This new Divination teacher, however she looked like, was an unknown entity and I had no idea how strict she could be. I hadn't seen her crack a single smile the previous night.

I slapped my hand to my face again. I should just have gotten a note from Madam Pomfrey, explaining I was sick.

You know, a dose of Wit-Sharpening Potion would do me good.

If you haven't figured out by now, I'm deathly apprehensive of authority figures. Which means of Professors, as well. I can never be one of those people who chat with their teachers as if they are friends or something. How can you, when your 'friend' has the ability to hand out a detention to you at the tiniest mistake? And no, having a Prefect friend is _not_ the same thing. Prefects cheat quite often. Jatin cheats even oftener.

I huffed, turning blindly around another corner and collided with another person turning just blindly around the same corner. I never seem to remember the fact that walking along the wall equals collisions at corners.

"Ow!" I rubbed my scar gently where my head had collided with the person's chin.

I looked down, where the person surprisingly lay.

"Jatin?"

He got up, grumbling at me, trying to regain his dignity.

"You fell down because _I_ bumped into you?" I couldn't stop the laughter bubbling from my throat. "Because a measly five foot six girl collided with you?"

"Oh, shut up!" he mock-scowled, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Aren't beaters supposed to be strong?" I teased, grinning. "How did a scrawny git like you become one?"

"My strength is in my arms," he replied, sticking his tongue out at me and flexing the muscles in the said arms.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, purposefully making my tone disbelieving.

Jatin looked at me with wide eyes in response, as if he had just realised something.

"Lisa!" he shouted, his arms wide open, and lunged at me, pulling me into a hug that almost crushed my bones.

I couldn't breathe.

"What. was. that?" I gasped, when he had let me go.

"It was the 'my-best-friend-was-in-the-Hospital-wing-on-her-death-bed-and-now-she's-recovered-so-I'm-so-happy' hug!" he said in a single breath, grinning. I swear the grin didn't leave his face even when he was talking.

"Come again? It was what-the what- the what hug?"

"Eh, never mind," he said, waving his hand and slinging the other arm over my shoulder. "Nothing important. So, dearest Lis, whatever did you do to Mary?"

I didn't hear him as I was too absorbed in my surroundings.

"Where are we going?" I asked in confusion.

"North tower. Divination classroom. Duh."

"But isn't this east?" I asked.

"No, this is north," he replied patiently, taking me down a new corridor. "Here's your stuff, by the way," he said, holding out the bag I hadn't realised he was carrying. "So what did you do to Mary?" he repeated, only this time I heard.

"What? Nothing...why?" I said in confusion at the strange question.

Jatin looked at me and frowned. "She was telling anybody who would listen, that it was her who slipped a wrong ingredient in your cauldron. Didn't you know?"

I shook my head, digesting this piece of information. Whatever had I done to Mary? Maybe Black had bribed her...Then it came back. It was _so_ like Mary to do that over such a small thing.

"I stepped on her toes," I sighed. "Probably ruined her perfect Pedicure or something," I added in disgust.

"So she tried to get back at you by trying to blow you up?" Jatin said in outrage, stopping in his tracks.

"She blew the cauldron, Jatin." I said tugging him up the stairs, but grinning all the same at his defence for me. On the downside though, I would have to get a new cauldron.

"How can you take this so lightly?" he demanded, his eyes flashing angrily, which was rare. "You could have been blinded or—,"

"But I didn't, did I?" I sighed again. "Look, knowing how thick Mary is, I doubt she knew the right ingredient for blowing up a potion. She probably was just trying to mess it up and make me fail." I looked at him, knowing the complete truth behind my words. "She just got lucky."

Jatin didn't say anything and I knew he wasn't satisfied.

"Which class did you have?" I asked, trying to change the topic.

"Don't change the subject," he said, catching my scheme at once. He grabbed my arm, making me stop as well. We were nearly at the top and the bell hadn't rung yet. "I think we should get back at her." His eyes were alight with that all-too-familiar gleam.

I drew back my arm at once. "No, Jatin! No, no, no, no! I refuse!" he opened his mouth to interrupt but I spoke over him. I knew all too well what he would say. I had gotten caught in his plans too many times. "Not now, not...today. If we do it now, she'll know at once it was me. Please?"

He scowled, but grumbled, "Fine," knowing I was right.

I sighed in relief as I continued up the stairs. Sure, revenge was sweet, but survival was sweeter.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Finally got another chapter up! It's been – what— three weeks? since the last update and I feel guilty as hell.

But real life has finally gotten busy. I got admitted to a college, yay!

I'm really nervous, because,

Me+ lots of unknown people + social interaction = very-very awkward situations.

I don't know why I'm telling you guys this over the internet. Maybe because you are not very likely to say—

"Then it would be a good learning experience!" (Mom)

Or "Grow up!" while rolling your eyes (my twelve year old sis). Yes, my dearest family is _so_ not helping me right now.

Soo, review? :) – if you can forgive this poor author for taking so long?

Thanks to every person who has reviewed so far, especially my anonymous reviewers who I couldn't reach personally. Thanks! :)


	9. Sybill Trelawney

**Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada...**

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Sybill Trelawney<strong>

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><p>'Don't complain, this means we've finished palmistry," Harry muttered back. 'I was getting sick of her flinching every time she looked at my hands.'<br>**-_Harry Potter, talking about Sybill Trelawney_**

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><p>We emerged in a tiny landing where the rest of the class was already assembled. There were no other doors off this landing, as far as I could see. Glancing at the ceiling, I noticed a circular trapdoor with a brass plaque on it which read 'Sybill Trelawney, Divination Teacher'.<p>

I raised my eyebrows.

"What—?" I started, glancing at Jatin, just as the bell rang. He nudged me in response, making me look up again.

The trapdoor opened by itself and a silvery ladder descended silently into the landing. Most of the class looked at each other in bemusement. Talk about dramatic.

We followed the class up the ladder and emerged into a room that looked the farthest thing from a classroom. The closest place I had seen like this was Madam Puddifoot's tea shop— except it lacked pink and frilly bows. The room was dimly lit and there were no desks; instead various small, circular tables were crammed inside it, surrounded by chintz armchairs and pouffes.

Jatin and I settled around a round table in the very front, which turned out to be a mistake.

"Where is—," I started.

A figure jumped out of the shadows from behind the table in the front, nearly making me scream.

Nearly. I didn't actually scream. That would have been embarrassing.

I jumped about a foot in air in shock, nevertheless. Jatin, however, seemed supremely unperturbed as the figure started speaking in a misty sort of voice, "Welcome...students of Divination."

Professor Trelawney finally came into view, her face recognisable in the dim, flickering light from the fireplace. The whispers ceased immediately. She was dressed in the same type of clothes as the previous day, with the same shawl draped around her thin frame. Her arms and fingers were encrusted in a number of bangles and rings.

It was when she was so close, that I realised how young she actually seemed. She looked barely older than eighteen. It felt like she could be a senior student rather than a teacher.

"Welcome to Divination," Professor Trelawney repeated in a soft voice. "The most subtle, yet difficult of all arts. I am Professor Trelawney and I'll be filling the post of Professor Delworth. A capable Seer, I'm sure, yet..." she trailed off, leaving us wondering what she meant.

"This year, you all will be giving your Ordinary Wizarding Levels. However, that shouldn't disrupt your focus from expanding your aura and the ability to see past the mundane..."

"Is she saying that O.W.L.s aren't important?" I whispered to Jatin in disbelief as she swept off dramatically to her desk.

Jatin merely grinned at me. I raised my eyebrows, wondering what was going on in his head. Hadn't the euphoria of Delworth's retirement worn off yet?

"What?" I hissed.

"Later," he mouthed, as Professor Trelawney returned.

"We will be studying Palmistry this month. Open your copy of Unfogging The Future at page ninety-five and start by interpreting your partner's age as shown by their age line."

"This is rubbish!" I moaned, after half an hour worth's calculation that was getting me absolutely nowhere. I was already starting to miss the normal _cool_ classroom no. 14 and Delworth's tremulous voice as opposed to this stifling heat in which Trelawney occasionally boomed, "Broaden your minds, dear! Try to see through the veiled mysteries of the future!"

"Alright," said Jatin peering at his scribbled calculations. "Uh, according to this, you should have been born in mid-April..." he trailed off, knowing full well that my birthday was months away from that. I smacked my head on the table. I _so_ preferred Delworth, mainly because she just spent the entire time talking to Jatin and ignoring the rest of us.

"You're right. This is rubbish," said Jatin, balling up the paper. "Wait. I've an idea," he added slowly.

I sat up straight. "You mean how we could ditch this class?" I asked hopefully.

Jatin simply rolled his eyes and turned back, facing Trelawney who was engrossed in Rachel's palm line.

"PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY!" Jatin boomed so loudly that his voice echoed in the room. Trelawney looked up with a scowl on her face.

"Are you sure you aren't related to Slughorn?" I muttered to Jatin, but he pretended not to hear.

"Yes?" said Trelawney, a little testily, the mystical quality mysteriously dropping out of her voice.

"I think I found a tragedy line in Lisa's hand, Professor!" lied Jatin, looking painfully enthusiastic to me. I almost expected him to add a sinister 'Oooh...' after that.

I glared at him. _This_ was his plan?

However, this seemed to have the opposite effect on Trelawney. Her eyes bugged out with excitement, almost making them larger than her face. She glided towards us.

"Show me, my dear," she said in an eager tone. _My dear_, really? What was she— forty?

Jatin grabbed my hand at once and held it out in front of him, his expression one of utmost concentration.

"Look, Professor. Hmm...yes. This line—," he jabbed my palm, at no point in particular, "— tells us that Lisa is going to get married to an enemy, then get separated from him, lose all her hair in depression and ultimately die a tragic death!" he exclaimed triumphantly. At this point, every single person's mouth hung open at him— including Trelawney's.

She was the first to recover, however. "You exude a very powerful aura, child!" she said, looking impressed. "A truly amazing prediction— and a true one too!"

My jaw hung lower as my eyes shifted from a thrilled Trelawney to a triumphant Jatin.

The rest of the hour passed in considerable slowness. For _me_. Jatin seemed to be enjoying himself as Trelawney showered him with praise.

The only instance when I broke out of my stupor was when Jatin asked, "How many O.W.L.s did you receive, Professor? I mean you're such a talented witch..."

Had it been McGonagall, she would have said, "Flattery won't get you anywhere, Mr. Patil."

However Trelawney looked pleased. "I didn't take the Ordinary Wizarding Levels, Mr. Patil. I was homeschooled by my mother." So _that's_ why I had never seen her at Hogwarts before.

"Why were homeschooled?" asked a kid obnoxiously from the back.

"Being around too many people clouds my inner eye," she replied in a lofty voice, as if the question had ruffled her.

"Figures," I muttered to Jatin. "She has never been around a human before." I stifled my giggle as he sniggered.

"So you didn't give your N.E.W.T.s as well? How come are you employed then?" the kid's voice was accusing. I glanced over my shoulder to notice a Ravenclaw I didn't quite know.

"I gave my N.E.W.T.s last year, Mr. Smith and got a satisfying result," snapped Trelawney uncharacteristically.

So I had been right in thinking she was about eighteen. How come Dumbledore had employed someone as young as her? Well, who was I to ask? Dumbledore was as eccentric as they come.

I remembered what Moody had growled, _"I don't think Hogwarts is safe this year, what with—,"_

Moody was truly unreasonable if he thought _Trelawney_ could pose any sort of danger.

Nobody quite asked her any questions after that and I drifted back into my daydream.

That was until she made Jatin repeat what my 'tragedy line' foresaw, expressing how courageous he was for accepting his friend's heart-rending fate so easily. Neither did she give us any homework, saying that the class had 'natural talent'.

I was the first one out of the class when the bell rang. My incredibly sane and logical mind was telling me to remain calm, while my intuition was telling me something else altogether.

Fine! I was panicking.

Wouldn't you, if your Divination teacher, who was apparently talented in her field, told you that you were destined to marry an enemy, become bald and then _die_?

"Lis!" Jatin called from behind me, but I didn't turn around; just speed-walked to the staircase.

"Wait up, Lis," he said cheerfully, catching up with me easily. "What are you in such a hurry for? If you walked any faster, I'd think you were ignoring me." He gave me a wide-eyed look.

"What are you so cheerful for?" I shot back, petulantly.

"Don't you think that was the best class ever?" he asked, pulling on his 'innocent' face. I shot him a dark, pointed look.

"Please." I said in disgust.

"No, it was," he insisted, this time looking genuine. That pulled me up short. "_What_?"

He grinned in response. "You're mad," I said bluntly. I don't think there was _ever_ a way in which this class could be described as _good_, let alone _best_.

Best. That word's shudder inducing.

"No, I'm not," he looked woebegone at that. "But, Trelawney is my guru from now on."

"I think she's bit of a fraud, really." I said, trying to sound confident and hide my uncertainty.

"I'm not talking about Divination," he replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Isn't she the most brilliant actor ever?"

"You're better than her," I told him with genuine amusement as I realised his motive. "She simply seems deluded to me."

Jatin shrugged.

"So you like her only because she shares your flair for dramatics," I stated. "Jatin, Jatin..." I added, shaking my head in affection. I would be hard-pressed to remain mad at him.

Somebody's shoulder purposely bumped into mine as we walked down another corridor. I staggered forward, landing hard on the floor due to the force of the shove.

"Ouch," I muttered out of reflex at my scraped knees.

"Here," Jatin helped my get up, all the while scowling at that certain someone.

Mary shot me a supremely smug look when I noticed her, then continued after Marlene. Massaging my shoulder, I stuck my tongue out at her back.

"Bitch," I muttered.

"Do you want me to hex her?" Jatin asked, drawing out his wand.

"You'll hex a girl?" I asked teasingly, trying to smoothen out the scowl from his face. It didn't look good on him. "Whatever happened to chivalry?"

"Isn't chivalry officially dead in this school?" I heard him mutter.

"Leave it, Jatin." I consoled. "Our patience will soon bear fruit," I added sagely.

"Fine," he sighed, looking defeated, but joined in my conversation of whether Trelawney was a fraud all the same.

Sometimes, I think I didn't understand Jatin at all. He loved getting revenge on people who hurt me in any way, but he wanted me to do it. Always. He had never participated in any pranks. Sure they were fun when your victims started shrieking blue murder in the middle of the night, but there was always the fear of being caught. Sometimes, while listening to Jatin's harebrained schemes, I started wondering whether he _wanted_ me to get caught, after all.

"I know she's no Seer," said Jatin as we settled into a corner of a courtyard. "But, I still think we'll enjoy Divination."

"How so?" I asked, not really paying attention. Black & Gang was coming our way. One good thing about Divination had been the absence of Black and James, neither of which took the subject. Imagine my mortification had Trelawney announced my tragic tale in front of James.

Black shot me a glare filled with extra loathing as they passed us. That was weird. Black never went out of his way to do that.

"...plus making things up will help us expand our creative horizons..." Jatin was saying.

"Black's acting weird," I commented, interrupting whatever Jatin was rambling about.

"Isn't that hard to believe, really," replied Jatin, noticing Black's glare as well. "Considering you tried to dump an entire potion on him."

I merely looked my confusion.

"You almost dumped his potion on his when your cauldron exploded," he explained, sniggering. "He hopped out of his way in time though. Just got his toe burnt. Or that's what I heard."

News travels faster than Garrotting Gas at Hogwarts, which spreads er...really slowly. But anyway, the feeling of immense satisfaction that crept through me at that piece of news made me grin.

"So, as I was saying..." Jatin started, but I cut across him again.

"Forget Trelawney. I just remembered something," I said, putting Black, Mary and Trelawney out of thought as the events earlier in the day came back to me.

Jatin shot me a look and I told him all about Madam Pomfrey's suspicious behaviour and how she seemed to be hiding something.

When I had finished, Jatin looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. I frowned at this inconsiderate behaviour.

"Lisa," he said in a constrained voice. "You have been reading Detective novels again, haven't you?"

"Not really," I protested. Weakly, might I add. "Fine, I have. What's that got to do with this?" I had read just one detective novel. It was a really good one too. Something about a dog's ghost which haunted a hall...

"The last time you read a detective novel, you told me five times a day how Filch's cat was an Animagus undercover agent and that it followed you around to spy on you." Jatin reminded me calmly.

That was a year ago! When I was immature and childish!

"Fine! Be like that. Don't believe me," I said sticking my tongue out at him. "Just don't come to me when she turns out to be involved in some Anti-You-Know-Who Squad or something."

I wish I had known how right I was.

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><p><strong>AN: **Yay! Quick update! :D

Shortest chapter yet, but it was really important plot-wise and I couldn't really fit it into the next chapter, so there you are.

I know my fic is probably very slow on the romance side ( _aboutBlank_ thinks otherwise, thank you!), but each chapter is essential to the plot, so I can't really speed that up. Next chapter will be longer and more entertaining, hopefully, and with a bit more of Sirius ;)

Thanks to my lovely, brilliant reviewers who make my day! :)

**PS- **_aboutBlank_: Yes, there is a story behind that hatred, you'll come to know later :P

**PS 2- **It's about to rain here..wow! I love rain!


	10. Dreams, DayDreams or Memories?

**Disclaimer: Disclaimers, shmisclaimers...**

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><p><strong>Chapter: Dreams, Day-dreams or Memories?<strong>

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><p>Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.<br>**~Edgar Allan Poe**

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><p><em><strong>Remus<strong>_

I didn't want James to say that to Sirius. I didn't want Sirius to feel guilty. And I didn't want James to be angry at Sirius.

There were a lot of things that I didn't want. But as I had learnt very quickly, things that you don't want to happen have a way of happening stubbornly.

I had never wanted to fall down my bike and break my leg when I was four.

My mom had never wanted to marry my father and though they pretended to be civil to each other for my sake, I could see they were just waiting for me to graduate to get separated.

My father was a good man and he had never wanted to anger Greyback so much that he bit me. He had never wanted to succumb in front of evil.

I had never wanted my friends to find out about my lycanthropy. But they did. And it was as if a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Because they accepted me.

But now that familiar weight was settling again. Only this time it was in my stomach.

_Guilt._

We were sitting at our usual spot beneath the Beech tree, enjoying what was probably the last sunny day this year. A normal Friday afternoon.

Except, something was different.

There was no Sirius around. Just like he hadn't been around for the past five days.

Peter was extremely jumpy, just like he always was whenever he was nervous or tense. I could see his eyes darting anxiously between James and me, and I knew he was just as uncomfortable with this situation as I was.

If Sirius had been here, he would have made a disdainful remark to him by now.

I tried to frame another argument in my mind to dissuade James. I didn't like this. The tension between the two of them was surreal- unearthly. We Marauders were supposed to be lying back and having fun, unconcerned to the world around us. Yet, here we were— edgy and overwrought.

I glanced at the nearby gaggle of girls as the idea of marshalling my thoughts failed. There was Dorcas, her feet immersed in the lake, her legs flapping in the water. I noticed how her dark hair flapped in the wind and how the sunlight made her skin almost glow.

She caught me staring at her and twisted her torso completely to face me. Waving at me, the smile that spread on her face was angelic and made my breath catch. She had never looked more beautiful, as she did then; a part of another world altogether. A wonderful, alien world that I could never quite partake in. Not completely. Not forever.

"Stop drooling, Moony mate. If you ogled anymore at Meadows, your jaw would hit the ground," an awfully familiar voice said in that awfully familiar amusement. "The only time I've seen that look on your face is when you're with a _book_."

I hadn't realised how much I missed him.

Sirius stood a few feet away, looking the same as always. Casual, arrogant, a Marauder.

Yet, his appearance didn't alleviate the tension like it usually did; rather, it was more palpable than ever now.

James' face was emotionless.

"So, what's going on, guys?" Sirius asked casually; flopping down beside us, completely oblivious.

"That is what _I'd_ like to know," said James with an uncharacteristically, or as the situation demanded, characteristically cool voice. I shot him a strict, disciplinary look which I usually reserved for them when they went overboard with their pranks, but he didn't notice. His eyes were glued to Sirius, demanding an answer.

Sirius seemed taken aback by his tone. "What's wrong, James?" he asked slowly, carefully.

James' eyes narrowed and he leapt to his feet, "You still have to _ask_ that?"

Anger didn't suit James. At all.

I stood up as well. "Calm down, James." I said warningly. Peter audibly gulped as James shook my hand off his shoulder.

"Oh, I didn't know that playing pranks was a crime, now!" Sirius snarled back irrationally, finally having cottoned on. Irrational. Sirius was always irrational and stupid when he was angry. And when he _wasn't_ angry, as well.

"He didn't—," I started with a futile effort.

"It _is_, when they aren't pranks anymore!" James shouted, the vein in his forehead jumping. The group of girls nearby looked up in alarm.

"What else are they, then?" shouted back Sirius, whipping out his wand. I frowned. I had no idea why he was getting so defensive. The girls hurried off, whether to inform a teacher or simply to get away from Sirius' wrath, I didn't know. "I don't know who you are, James Potter! Pranks aren't fun for you any longer!"

"My idea of fun is not ruining somebody's life!" James whipped out his own wand. "She doesn't deserve it, Sirius!"

I took out my own wand quickly, knowing no words would be able to calm these two down now. I was always surprised at the way James talked about the girl in question— Kent. It was as if he knew her personally or had known her. Which he hadn't. He was strangely protective of her, despite everything. Sirius didn't seem to be able to grasp that.

"Oh, yeah? Have you forgotten what she did?" spat Sirius. "Well, I haven't. And I can't. Not when I see you being pathetically rejected by Evans each day!"

I growled. I couldn't believe Sirius had just said that. He never used his brain.

Surprisingly, James lowered his wand at his words.

"I know what you're doing, Sirius," he said in a low, deadly voice that I had never heard him use before. "You're taking out all your frustrations on her. She's simply a scapegoat to you." His eyes narrowed. "You don't hate her as you claim. Everything you can't say or do to your family, you do it to her."

Peter and I stood there, stunned, as both of them glowered at each other. Words that hurt, words that had never been spoken before were being exchanged and both of us were mere spectators as this happened, unable to stop them. As two brothers hurt each other. Because that was they actually were— brothers. They shared bonds that ran thicker than blood. They were closer to each other than anybody else on the planet.

"And you've been so engrossed in your own selfish pursuits, Sirius," James said in a quiet, disappointed voice. "That you have broken your promise. And just because of you, Moony, our _best_ _friend, _would have another painful transformation. Thanks to you, our almost complete research hasn't been finished before the full moon."

Sirius took a step back as these words hit him, as if staggered by their weight. He turned to me, his eyes wide in realisation and his expression one of boundless guilt and horror.

It was worse than I thought.

I didn't want him to feel guilty. I didn't want any of them to become Animagi illegally either. It could go horrible wrong or they could get caught and sent to Azkaban. But I couldn't deny that I secretly wanted them to do it- succeed- either. And I felt guilty about thinking as such. Even though the transformation into a monster was painful beyond belief.

"Moony, I..." Sirius started quietly.

"Leave it," cut across James sharply, before I could accept his apology. An apology that I _didn't_ need.

It was all going horribly, horribly wrong. Marauders didn't apologise to each other. We didn't fight over such trivial issues either. (Chocolate cake was _not_ a trivial issue). It was as if a part of us was missing.

"Sirius!" a girl squealed, running towards him from apparently nowhere and engulfing him in a long hug, which made him snap his gaze to her.

That was all it took for James to grab my shoulder and drag me away from the scene with Peter trailing behind us.

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><p><em><strong>Melissa<strong>_

I sat at my usual corner in the deserted common room, gazing out of the castle window and noticing the patterns that the cold rain made on the glass pane. The way the raindrops slithered down the pane with a melancholic continuity reflected my dreary disposition.

Now that we've established that I was in an angst-y mood— I didn't hate rain, really.

Hate is a strong word. There were far better things or _people_ to hate instead— Evans, Black, Jackson...there was no dearth of such hatred-worthy people in my life.

No, I didn't hate rain. But I didn't like it either. It was cold, dull and much too likely to correspond with my mood for my liking.

This week had been worse than any other before— horrible and drawn out. It had seemed never-ending. And I had thought the first day back at Hogwarts was bad. Pfft! The first day back had been _pure bliss_ compared to the rest of them.

It had all started when I had woken up Tuesday morning and gone down to breakfast, like I did every day. The first step into the Great Hall had done it— a great wave of water- chilly water- had cascaded over me, leaving me soaked to the skin. Did I mention I was wearing a white shirt? No? Well, I was. And the thing about white shirts was that they turned _transparent_ on being soaked.

The laughter still rang in my ears. The rest of the pranks that followed after that— over a period of four days— had been the same. Not innovative. Not extraordinary. But those plain, overused ones that were the most embarrassing.

From my shoelaces that got tied together by themselves when I wasn't looking, thus making me fall on my face, to lewd notes stuck on my unsuspecting back, Black had done _everything_.

I had underestimated him. Consider being the victim of at least five pranks _each_ day of the week— yeah, it had been _that_ bad.

However, scraped palms and knees and public humiliation were just one part of my problems. The other was social alienation. I know, I know— since when had I ever been a part of the society here? Or at least a welcome part of it?

But this time, I hadn't seen Jatin for the past three days as well. The last time I had seen him was in Wednesday's Charms, after which we hadn't shared any classes. I had stopped going down for meals altogether, preferring to order food from a small house-elf that worked in the kitchens.

The last words I had spoken were when the elf had brought me lunch; I had said, "Thank you, Teeny!" and it had squeaked, "It's a pleasure, Miss!"

I had missed last night's dinner. It was now breakfast time on this Saturday morning and I had no intention of going down. Mainly because I hadn't the faintest idea how long Black wanted to draw out this one-sided prank war.

"Raindrops, raindrops, why do I loathe thee?" I sang under my breath, even though I didn't, tracing a pattern in the glass with my finger.

It was the first rain of the season.

"First rain of the season," I murmured, just for something to say.

It was as I uttered these words, that a memory inexplicably came back to me that was definitely, hundred percent, guaranteed _not_ mine.

_The muddy water sloshed around our boots as I walked down the deserted streets with two girls- both of whom looked around fourteen. Who would be crazy enough to come out of their houses in this downpour? Us, by the looks of it._

"_I hate you, Ad," I muttered darkly to the red haired one on my right, but the effect was ruined by the use of her nickname._

"_Aw, I love you too!" she replied chirpily, widening her blue eyes in a puppy dog expression._

_I sighed and turned away from her. Her face looked _angelic_. And the thing was – she _was_ the most adorable person ever. But I wanted to stay mad at her today— like really, really mad._

_The dark haired girl on my left poked me "Why do you hate the rain?" she asked quietly, her soft brown eyes probing mine._

_I shrugged. "I don't hate it, I just despise it." I stated simply. The girl named Ad laughed._

"_I don't hate the rain," the dark haired girl said in the same quiet tone. "It's beautiful."_

_I snorted disbelievingly._

"_In India," she continued, "the summer is so scorching hot that just coming out of your house is a chore. Dry skies, dry hot winds." She paused as both Ad and I gazed at her. "But then monsoon comes and we know it was all worth it. The dark skies and lush green trees is the most gorgeous sight you'll ever see and the cool air is like ambrosia."_

_We stared at her for a few more moments. "You should be a poet, Soph!" _

And just like that, it was gone. I was left there, shaking and trembling, clutching the window ledge for support.

What _had_ just happened? Who had been those girls? Because I had never met them before. And what in the name of Merlin's underpants were they doing in _my_ head, in _my_ memory, in _my_ head?

A memory that shouldn't be mine in the first place! It...it _wasn't_.

Then why the bloody hell had it played in my head like a damn vivid tape?

What the HELL IS GOING ON?

I traced the raindrops' descent with my eyes, trying to remember. There had been a girl— two actually— Ad and Soph, nobody I knew!

The blasting open of the Portrait Hole made me jump out of my skin and whirl around in shock. Jatin climbed in, spotting me immediately.

He rolled his eyes, scowled and directly made his way towards me.

"You look like crap," he said as a manner of greeting, folding his arms and glowering at me.

I didn't snap back or bother asking him how he had gotten in because I was too busy hyperventilating.

I ...couldn't breathe...everything was going fuzzy...

"Lisa!" Jatin's sharp voice made me open my eyes slowly. I was lying on a couch, with Jatin peering at my face with a concerned expression.

"Wh-what happened?"

"You fainted," he said with a frown. "When was the last time you ate, Lis?" he ran a hand through his hair in annoyance. "Granted, I can look menacing, but it wasn't _that_ scary! Here I was trying to be freaking mad at you for ditching me and you just have to go and get ill on me?"

He grinned to show that he was just kidding.

"Yeah? Well I doubt _you_ had been alone for the past three stinking days!" I snapped.

He looked taken aback. "I was just joking, Lis," he said slowly. "Why are you—,"

"Sorry, sorry!" I moaned, cutting across him and dropping my head in my hands.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "I ..._saw_...something just now..." I trailed off, unsure how to describe the 'what-the-hell-just-happened?' situation to him. "Something weird."

He looked questioningly at me.

I sighed again. "It was...like...a _memory_. Only I've never had this memory before. Whatever..._happened_ in the memory has never happened to me before! And yet, I was _there_ and I could _see_ everything as if I had experienced it when I haven't!" my voice had reached a shrill peak by the time I had finished and I was hyperventilating again.

"Stop freaking out, Lis," said Jatin calmly, but frowning all the same. "Take deep breaths."

"Now tell me," he said, when I had calmed down considerably. "What happened in the memory?"

So I told him. How I had been walking in the rain with those two girls, how we had been discussing..._rain_.

When I had finished, Jatin stared into space and then spoke, "it was probably just hunger induced hallucinations."

Hunger induced hallucinations? Whoever had heard of _that_?

"Excuse me? It was nothing like a hallucination! I wasn't dreaming, Jatin. It was real, vivid!"

"The thing about hallucinations is that they are very vivid." Jatin explained patiently. "I speak from experience. See it's raining right now. So you probably just daydreamed about that."

"Really?" I asked hopefully. Sure, the idea of suffering from hallucinations wasn't good, but it was better than having real memories of which I recalled nothing about.

"Honestly, Lis," said Jatin, standing up now. "You have been coped up in here for three days. A mental breakdown is sort of expected after that."

Instead of snapping at Jatin for this, I nodded at his explanation. It was a perfectly plausible one. Hunger + mental breakdown + angst-y girl= hallucinations.

To be honest, I had been expecting a mental breakdown since _that_ day, you know. And now I had gotten it over with. I had hallucinated away and the worst that had happened was I had inventive two people who didn't actually exist. I must be creative.

I felt oddly relieved.

"I'm not going into the Great Hall, Jatin," I told him as we approached it. "Can't you just bring me a stack of toast out here?"

"No," he replied, grabbing my wrist firmly. "You're going in like a normal teenager. You're not on house arrest, Lisa."

No? It sure felt like it.

"B-but..." I sputtered, as he dragged me with him.

"No buts. Face it with your head held high, Lisa. If you're going to hide from the world for the rest of your life, you are just giving Black the satisfaction he wants."

That shut me up as Jatin dragged me inside. Since when had he gotten so wise?

The chattering students were a welcome sight, because no one was bothering to look at me. It was if the first week back hadn't happened at all. The kids had gotten their quota of humiliating others for the week, I suppose.

Jatin pulled me into a seat beside him on the Ravenclaw table in a comparatively secluded corner.

"Where are your friends?" I asked as he loaded his plate.

His response was the same as the last time I had asked the same question.

"Library."

"Is that why you came looking for me?" I asked sourly, picking up a toast.

In response, he gave me a look that clearly said I was being ridiculous.

"Sorry," I mumbled again.

"It's okay, Lisa!" he said buoyantly, slapping me hard on the back and making me choke a little. "Take out all your frustrations on me! I wouldn't mind."

I punched him in the manner of an answer.

"See?" he said after a while (after he had wolfed down almost half a dozen buttered toasts). "I told you. There weren't going to be any pranks played on you today." He winked.

"You didn't tell me, but how so?"

"Black is otherwise occupied," he replied idly. "In case you haven't noticed, he got himself a new girlfriend."

"What else is new?" I said in a bored tone. What did I have to do anything with his short flings?

I glanced at the Gryffindor Table, nevertheless and choked in horror. Jatin slapped me on the back.

"Her?" I gasped as I regained the use of my lungs.

"So?" Jatin said offhandedly. Offhandedly! How can he be so calm when I'm panicking here?

"Rachel? Rachel Jackson?" I said in a hoarse voice. Jatin merely looked at me oddly, as if I was over-reacting and nodded.

I didn't need that nod. Even from this distance, there was no mistaking the long golden curls.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Dun, Dun Dun! :P**

Don't you just love me? Two updates in two days! I'm trying to write as much as I can before college starts, because I've got absolutely nothing else to do. Well, apart from reading Chetan Bhagat novels. I dunno, the raw reality of his works always makes me shudder :/

Those who have this on alerts probably got two alert mails for the last chapter. My mistake! *Headdesk*. I was trying to edit the ninth chapter and it got posted as a new one. Sorry!

I know I haven't responded to your reviews, but it's 1 AM in the morning and I'm tired. I'll do it tomorrow :P

Sooo? How was this chapter? Let me know! :)


	11. Broken

**Disclaimer: MWAHAHAHA! I OWN ALL THE CHARACTERS! MWUHAHAHAHA!**

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><p><strong>Chapter: Broken<strong>

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><p>A broken bone can heal, but the wound a word opens can fester forever.<br>**~Jessamyn West**

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><p>These two weeks had progressed slower than the first one.<p>

Which is saying something.

Sure, I had been briefly entertained when we had put that Frizzy-Hair potion in Mary's shampoo bottle. Okay, _I_ had, but it had been Jatin's idea. A simple but sweet little prank. Mary's scream in the morning had been like a lungful of oxygen.

Otherwise, these weeks had been suffocating.

Time is a funny thing. Have you noticed how time seems to slow down when there's absolutely nothing happening in your life? When you feel every second trickle by slowly like the grains of sand in an hour glass?

Like some giant clock is ticking away your remaining peaceful time?

That was exactly what was happening in my life right now.

Or not happening. Because _nothing_ was happening.

Er...anyway, this entire week of nothingness was practically eating away at me; gnawing at my insides ever persistently. You would think this absence of pranks, action and drama in general would be relieving to me. But it was not.

Because there was those importunate questions—

_Why_ was nothing happening to me?

_Why_ were both Black and Rachel leaving me alone?

_Why_ was my life almost- normal?

I now realise those questions make me sound like a really twisted person.

Maybe I am.

"Jatin!" I whispered to him for the umpteenth time, but he didn't look up from his Charms book. I swear, this kid loves three things- Charms, acting and insanity— more than is healthy.

"Jatin!" I hissed more urgently, prodding his arm.

"Yeah, that's right," he replied vaguely, without looking up. I scowled in irritation. So, he hadn't been listening when I had been expounding my various theories to him?

Some friend.

Okay, so I might have repeated those theories many times before, but still! Most of them involved Rachel murdering me in my sleep. Which is quite plausible, if you ask me. Even more possible, since she has paired up with -gulp- _Black_.

"Jatin, Jatin, Jatin..." I said continuously, prodding him each time. "Juuhhh-teeenn."

"What?" he finally snapped, scowling fiercely at me.

"Nothing," I said innocently, with my best wide-eyed expression, the corner of my mouth twitching slightly.

I expected him to laugh or make some crazy remark.

I, however, did not expect his expression to darken.

"That's great!" he spat the words at me, and shoved the books into his bag. With a last dark look sent my way, he stomped out of the library. Madam Pince scowled at him as he went.

I just stared after him in bewilderment. Was it just me or had Jatin just acted like Sirius Black?

I scrambled to my feet, gathering my things. Something was definitely wrong.

With an apologetic glance at Madam Pince, I hurried out of the Library after Jatin. Whipping my head around, I spotted him already at the end of the dimly lit corridor, striding away.

"Jatin!" I shouted after him, but he didn't even stop.

Seriously, what was _wrong_ with this kid?

I ran after him as he disappeared off a corner.

"Jatin?" I asked in immense confusion, as I caught up with him in the deserted corridor. "What's wrong?"

He raised his eyebrows in a disbelieving expression.

I just stared back, puzzled. Did he really expect me to know anything when he hadn't said a word?

I quickly ran through possible reasons for his strange behaviour in my mind.

Was it his birthday today?

_Pfft! No._

Perhaps he suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder...

_Probable_.

Maybe he was on Wizardrugs?

_Not_.

Oooh, I know! The stress of O.W.L.s was finally catching up to him.

It wasn't to me, though. I already had all my homework finished. I really don't think I need to point out the absence of a social life as a reason, do I?

"Look," I now told Jatin in a placating way. I knew he could get rather grumpy in times of stress. "I'm sorry, okay? I was just kidding. Geez, why do you have to take it so seriousl—,"

"Just leave it, Lisa!" he snarled, very unlike himself. The hard, blazing expression in his eyes was one I had never seen before and it scared me. I took a step back in shock. "I'm so...so _sick_ of you at the moment!" he gripped his hair with his hand in frustration.

That was like a punch in the gut.

"What?" was the only thing I managed to say.

He scoffed. I hated that sound. I hated it.

"You don't even see it?" he asked in mock-surprise. "I'm _so_ tired of you at the moment. I'm _done_ with pretending like it doesn't matter that you whine all the time! I'm seriously done!"

He...was pretending.

"I..." The words died in my throat.

"It's always about _you_, isn't it?" he shouted, pacing back and forth in rage. "Just _you_! How Black is after you or Jackson is after you! Even when they leave you alone, you can't let it go!" He kicked the stone wall behind him, and then turned to face me where I stood frozen, his face hard. "_You_! That's all you always think about. _You_, Melissa Kent," he said through gritted teeth. "Are the most selfish girl to walk the planet."

I opened my mouth, but no noise came out of my strangled throat.

"I'm done with you," he said firmly. I searched his face for any traces of a lie. There were none. My breathing hitched when he whirled around and stalked away, without sparing a second glance in my direction. I didn't try to stop him. Or even call after him. I couldn't speak and I couldn't think. Just like that he had walked away from more than a yearlong of friendship. In a matter of seconds.

Time is a funny thing.

_I'm _done_ with pretending like it doesn't matter that you whine all the time!_

Pretending. Acting. It was a horrible word all of a sudden. Had he just been acting all this long? Since _that_ day? Somehow, I couldn't wrap my mind around that single word— pretending.

He had found me when everyone else had abandoned me. When I had felt so broken and hideous. When I had felt like a monster. He had shown me a new way— a relatively happy one where I still had friends or a _friend_.

And now he had left me, feeling exactly like I did that day— broken and _hideous_.

_I strode with quick steps, muffling my hiccups with one hand, the other wound tightly around my torso. This had become a routine for me, an endless, painful routine. Hiding, being discovered, taunted and humiliated, and running. Trying to run away from everything._

_Crying._

_I remembered that night when Evans had rushed into the dormitory; followed by the people I had thought were my friends. I remembered seeing her tear-streaked face, and the others comforting her. Nobody had wasted me a glance. Even before they knew what I had done, they had abandoned me. I remembered seeing the red-mark on James' face when I finally gathered the courage to go down, even if it was to get away from Evans' bawling. I remembered feeling this heart-wrenching sensation on seeing his hopeless face._

_I had felt so ashamed. So embarrassed. So, so _guilty_. I remembered feeling nervous and panicky when I had seen Black make his way towards me. My heart had been beating fit to explode. _They have found out_, I had known. I remembered when Black had started shouting at me. How I couldn't even make sense of the words. How I had tried to form an apology and failed. How everyone had stared at me with disgust. How I had run out when I couldn't take it any longer._

_I gulped down the tears that were nevertheless streaming down my cheeks, throat, dripping down my nose. I stared as they occasionally dripped on the stone floor, looking over my shoulder to see the small dark dot of wetness they made. I ignored them after a while. The Owlery, that's what I focused on. Owlery was safe. Because it would be deserted at this hour. When everyone was out at the Quidditch match._

_I reached the dank, chilly room and breathed the freedom that lingered in the air here. I had received so many owls from Reg, but I had only replied in one-two lined answers. She would be worried, I knew, but I couldn't tell her what had happened. I didn't need to see the disappointment in her eyes, as well. I couldn't._

_Maybe, at Christmas, I would tell her. Just a part of the story._

_I sat down on the window ledge and stared out, wrapping my arms around my knees. The forest trees swayed in the cold wind. The wind smelled of leaves and wet mud, and I breathed it in, trying to forget everything._

_Didn't work all too well. The bones on the floor crunched behind and I whipped around in shock, nearly falling over with the movement._

_A boy of around my age stood there, his dark hair ruffled. He was dressed in casual attire, but without any house scarves around his neck, which made me wonder if the match had finished already. He wasn't looking at me, rather at the large parliament of sleeping owls, searching for the right one. He hadn't seen me, most likely. Seeing this as my chance to escape, before he could spot me, I stealthily tried to take a few steps away from the window. His voice stopped me, however._

"_I hate it when people cry," he stated to, as far as I could see, himself. I froze, wondering whether this kid was mad. Or had an imaginary friend._

_He turned to face me suddenly and my eyes widened in shock. I gulped, wondering what was happening._

"_Ex-excuse me?" I asked in a hoarse voice, speaking for the first time after several hours._

"_I hate it when people cry," he repeated matter-of-factly, still looking directly at me. I shuffled, feeling awkward and nervous._

"_Um...Okay?" It came out as a question._

_The kid grinned. "You were crying," he said cheerfully._

_Horrified, I realised the frozen tears on my face. I wiped them away furiously. "So?" I asked defensively. Shouldn't he be kind to crying people?_

"_So you look quite hideous," he replied bluntly in the same cheerful tone, turning away to choose an owl again._

_I don't know why that brought tears to my eyes again, and a lump in my throat. I barely even knew this guy, should it even have mattered what he was saying? And he was clearly stating that I looked bad with the swollen nose and eyes. I mean, _who_ could look good like that?_

_But after this past week, everything felt like an insult and everything hurt._

"_Are you..._crying_? Now?" he asked, his brows knitted in confusion, his face far from concerned. I don't why I even expected a stranger to be concerned for me._

"_No," I hiccoughed, wiping my eyes._

"_You shouldn't really lie when a person can see you. You suck," he stated again, while I stared at him in bewilderment. He was the strangest kid I had met till this day. "You know, I have been practicing lying," the kid said, his eyes lighting up. "I reckon I could even fool McGonagall now! I could teach you if you like," he added hopefully._

_I just stared dumbfounded._

_He turned back when I didn't reply._

"_Oh, there's Sparrow!" he said. "Sparrow! Sparrow dear, wakey-wakey!"_

_I still stared as a small grey coloured owl ruffled its wings and flew down to him, landing on his fore-arm._

"_You named your owl _Sparrow_?" I said in disbelief, despite myself._

_The kid grinned. I noticed he did that a lot. "It's so versatile, isn't it?" he asked hopefully. "Cool name, huh?"_

_I couldn't even shake my head at him. "You're mad," I blurted out in utter disbelief and amazement._

_To my even greater surprise, the kid beamed at me. "Thank you!" he cried, engulfing me in a hug that made freeze in shock. Sparrow fluttered away in indignation. He pulled away with the largest grin etched on his face._

"_You aren't as bad as you look," he commented._

"_Why, _thank_ you," I replied sarcastically, my snarky side making a comeback._

"_Yes, you are not," he said, seemingly observing me. "Yes...hm...Aha!"_

"_What?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to get away from this strange kid._

"_Dearest whats-your-face, I hereby pronounce you the Great Jatin Patil's friend." The kid looked elated. "Cherish this title, little girl. It is one that I give to few."_

"_You're mad." I said slowly backing away from him. "Totally mad. And I'm _not_ a little girl!" I added in irritation._

"_Sure you are." The kid replied whistling to himself, and coaxing his owl, who was hooting dolefully._

"_I'm going." I said, backing away further._

"_Okay," he said quite calmly. "Bye!"_

"_Yeah...bye."_

_The kid tied a heavy letter to his owl and it soared away out of the window. He didn't glance at me again._

"_Why did you name your owl Sparrow, though?" I asked in a small voice, my feet moving slowly back towards him._

_He turned to face me, a huge, triumphant grin on his face._

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><p>I had found a companion. The only thing was; it wasn't living.<p>

Oh no, it wasn't the Moaning Myrtle. She hated me and I loved that she did. It was so fun infuriating her.

No, it was the Fat Lady.

Don't look at me like that, she's _nice_.

And er...she talks a lot.

But she's nice, seriously. And she's _some_ company. She doesn't hate me either, which is always a plus.

I was currently sitting outside the Gryffindor Common Room on a Monday evening. There was nobody about, except me and the Fat Lady. She was talking about some...er...one and I was pretending to listen.

"...and then she told Violet that she looked _ugly_! How rude these kids have become today, I tell you. There was a time when that fourth year girl..."

I nodded along understandingly, not really comprehending a word.

Instead I let myself drift into the thoughts that had plagued me for the past two days.

Was it a temporary thing? I couldn't be sure. Our friendship had never been through this before, and I was panicking. Sure, we had our usual spats, but it was never Jatin who got angry, who hurt me.

I felt so hurt and unwanted. His words rang continuously in my ears. He was tired of _pretending_...

As always, just as my mental faculties reached this thought, I shied away from the rest of them, not wanting to think farther than that.

_You, Melissa Kent, are the most selfish girl to walk the planet._

Was I? Did I seriously only think just about myself?

I gulped away the strange feeling— the realisation that I _was_. Or at least I had been, recently.

Since I had come back, how many times had I asked Jatin about him? Or even noticed his feelings? He must have been quite cut-up about Dorcas, even though he never showed it. I had taken him for granted. And now that he was not talking to me, I realised how much I missed him, _needed_ him. Not only because he was my only friend, but because he was my _best_ friend. The best friend anybody could ask for.

Jatin...I missed him so terribly.

I now realised that he had been tense about something. How could I have not seen it before? He had been awfully quiet in the past few days, had been acting less insanely. I had been so wound up in my own affairs that I had hardly paid any attention to him.

Swallowing away the guilt, I decided it was time I shun my pride and talk to him. What would I say, I had no idea.

As I got up with determination, the Fat Lady stopped her rant.

"Sorry, Miss Fat Lady," I said, nearly cracking up at how odd that sounded. "I've got to go to the library. It was nice talking to you," I lied.

"You too, dear!" she said happily. See? I wasn't so selfish. I made people happy at my own expense. "I'll tell you more about Veronica next time!"

Now, who the hell was _Veronica_?

I sniggered as I started my journey to the Ravenclaw Common Room (a perilous journey, indeed), feeling oddly relieved now that I was going to talk to him.

If I had ever known Jatin, I knew he couldn't stay mad for long.

I barely noticed a snogging couple as I walked past them, accidently bumping into the guy.

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><p><em><strong>Sirius<strong>_

Rachel Jackson was— there was no other way to describe it— perfect.

She was gorgeous, with long legs and a nice figure. I had had a fairly good share of such girls.

She was different, though, because for one, her voice wasn't shrill and for another, she wasn't too clingy. She left me alone most of the time-which worked perfectly, because I was working harder than ever on completing the final process of becoming Animagi.

She didn't call me anything stupid like 'Siri darling' either.

And she was one hell of a snog. Yeah, she was perfect.

It was in the middle of one such snog that somebody purposefully bumped into me. I had Rachel trapped against the wall and I had been enjoying a brilliant snog, when who else, but that bitch Kent bumped into me.

I scowled fiercely at her retreating back, my hand itching to curse her. But I couldn't of course.

"You hate her, don't you?" Rachel said, interrupting my glare. Huh, only if she knew how much. "But you haven't pranked her for weeks," she continued.

I shrugged, she didn't know anything.

"I know James doesn't want you to."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise, wondering how she knew that. Had it been that obvious?

"Your pranks were good, but they weren't good enough."

Hiding my surprise, I plastered my sexiest smirk on my face. "As if you could have done better," I challenged playfully.

Her smirk rivalled mine and I could never have guessed her next words.

She grabbed my collar and pulled herself against me.

"Actually," she whispered as our noses touched, "I _can_."

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><p><strong>AN: ***whistles innocently*. Review?

0:)

**PS_ **I changed the summary, did anyone notice?


	12. Gone

**Disclaimer: Only those who are nameless belong to me.**

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><p><strong>Chapter: Gone<strong>

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><p>Though the sun is gone, I have a light.<br>**~Kurt Cobain**

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><p>I had just realised that the eagle knocker on the Ravenclaw Common Room door was out to get me.<p>

I was staring at the now immobile figure in utter disbelief.

"What?" I blinked at it. "Come again?"

The eagle unfurled its bronze wings and repeated in the same soft, musical voice,

"'_Twas whispered in Heaven, 'twas muttered in Hell_

_And echo caught faintly the sound was it fell;_

_On the confines of Earth, 'twas permitted to rest,_

_And in the depths of the ocean its presence confessed;_

_'Twill be found in the sphere when 'tis riven asunder,_

_Be seen in the lightning and heard in the thunder;_

_'Twas allotted to man with his earliest breath,_

_Attends him at birth and awaits him at death,_

_Presides o'er his happiness, honor and health,_

_Is the prop of his house and the end of his wealth._

_In the heaps of the miser, 'tis hoarded with care,_

_But is sure to be lost on his prodigal heir;_

_It begins every hope, every wish it must bound;_

_With the husbandman toils, and with monarchs is crowned;_

_Without it the soldier and seaman may roam,_

_But woe to the wretch who expels it from home!_

_In the whispers of conscience its voice will be found,_

_Nor e'er in the whirlwind of passion be drowned;_

_'Twill soften the heart; but though deaf be the ear,_

_It will make him acutely and instantly hear._

_Set in shade, let it rest like a delicate flower;_

_Ah! Breathe on it softly, it dies in an hour."_

I pulled at a strand of my dark hair in frustration. See what I meant? How many times had I entered the Ravenclaw Common Room? I tell you— dozens of times. And then I had had _Jatin_ with me. Then every time this stupid knocker had asked an _easy_ riddle. One which even_ I_ could have answered after some thinking.

For instance, there was this time last year when the knocker asked—

"_What goes up but never comes down?"_

Pretty easy, right? The answer's 'age', obviously. Okay, so I _may_ not have been able to think the answer quickly enough at that time, but I'm pretty sure I would have cracked it eventually.

But _this_? I could barely remember the words, let alone think over them.

_Be seen in the lightning and heard in the thunder._

Um...rain? But it could be heard in the lightning as well. And when we heard the thunder, we couldn't exactly hear the pitter-patter of raindrops could we?

Oh, well...

I gave up. I sucked at this. Maybe someone would come and answer the damn novel length riddle for me.

But what were the odds that they would actually let _me_ inside?

Less than zero.

Perhaps, I could terrify some ickle firsties into letting me in. Though, being outsmarted by an eleven year old would be sort of mortifying...

I groaned and slumped against the wall. I was already under severe stress from a possibly severed friendship. I had been so anxious about talking to Jatin, that I had forgotten that I'd have to get _inside_ first.

I could wait for Jatin or his friends to come out, but I doubted they would. It was already approaching curfew and I had no choice but to send one more filthy look at the knocker, cursing it to the pits of hell, and descend the stairs.

I had a feeling the knocker was laughing silently behind me.

Tomorrow morning, I decided, the first I would do was talk to him. I was certain that he would have gotten over his anger by now. Or so I hoped.

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><p>The next morning dawned bleak and dreary. Dark clouds hovered over the castle and chilly winds rattled the windows. A cold drizzle outside had everyone in low spirits. But nobody's morning could have been as uncomfortable as mine.<p>

Evans was shrieking at James in the middle of the common room when I went down. I wondered whether James had walked too close to her or spoken too loudly or asked her if he could borrow a quill this time.

Quickly escaping the cacophonous screaming along with a dozen other people, all of whom were clutching their ears in pain, I went down to breakfast. But not before Black sent me a disgusted look that clearly said it was all my fault. I scowled at the floor. It wasn't. Sure, what I had done I had done. But wasn't it _Evans_ who had announced that she couldn't like James anymore after _that_ day? Wasn't it _her_ who was such a snob that she acted as if he was filth even after she'd found out that I'd lied?

As if hearing Evans' voice first thing in the morning wasn't enough, the breakfast seemed torturously long. I could hardly eat anything, waiting for Jatin to appear.

Only he didn't. I looked up every half a minute hoping that he would appear in the doorway with his friends, but he never showed up. Neither did his friends. Come to think of it, I had rarely seen him since Saturday, the day we had quarrelled. He had avoided eye-contact all through Charms yesterday and hadn't shown up for Divination at all.

Was he avoiding me? Maybe he had just gone down to the kitchens for some breakfast...

It didn't seem like him, though, to remain mad at me. When _I_ should be the one should be the one who should be mad, considering the things he had said.

Unless, he was hundred percent serious when he said he was tired of me. Even considering the thought made my throat close-up.

It was with a heavy heart that I finally set out for Care of Magical Creatures when the bell rang.

His absence hadn't shaken my resolve, though, and I was determined as ever to talk to him. And perhaps hit him over the head while I was at it.

The drizzle had stopped as I took long strides across the grounds to the class, to the usual place at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. I cursed my thin robes as the cold bit into my skin. Shivering slightly, I took my place behind the rest of the class.

Kettleburn was seated on a tree stump, apparently lost in thought, gazing at the grass and paying no attention to us.

Well, that was fine with me. I moved to the edge of the group, and dropped my bag with a loud thump. I gazed at the smoke rising from Hagrid's hut instead, as we waited for the Slytherins.

Professor Kettleburn was someone I did not like at all. He was the sort of person whom you never felt comfortable with. Someone you started 'not liking' at the first sight, meeting, conversation, whatever.

There was something off and creepy about him that made me edgy. Maybe it was his appearance or maybe the way he liked to speak in a spooky whisper. As if having only one hand and three fingers in his leg wasn't enough, his voice had that scratchy timbre of a chain smoker.

"Alright, all of you," said Kettleburn in that scratchy voice, once everyone had assembled. The voice made me cringe. I wished he would clear his throat and then speak. I cleared my own throat out of reflex. "Gather around, everyone," he called, motioning to the small wooden box where a lone twig seemed to be moving. "We'll be studying Bowtruckles this week."

He started explaining about Bowtruckles and I only half-listened. My mind overwrought, I let my attention wander. My eyes traced the outline of Hagrid's hut, and I sensed the homeliness it seemed to radiate. I liked it there. I didn't talk to Hagrid much, but _he_ did— talking about various creatures that caught his interest or about the other kids who visited him. Like James.

Whenever I was alone, — Jatin being involved elsewhere— I helped Hagrid with tending his garden. I wasn't good— I might even have been terrible— but the work felt strangely exhilarating. It was almost as if I was back at home again- gardening with Reg, who told me how it strengthened the muscles. For a wizard, she was oddly obsessed with non-magical ways of physical exercise.

I breathed in deeply, wanting nothing more than to join Hagrid in his cooking. Two people terrible at cooking ought to be better than one person terrible at cooking.

After Jatin would ditch his stupid anger later, I thought optimistically, I would visit Hagrid. He might even take me in to the Forbidden Forest to tend to the unicorns. He hadn't yet, but if I asked nicely...

I glanced away from the hut at the dark trees behind Kettleburn. For a moment, I thought I saw somebody peering out of the forest just beyond my line of vision, but it must have been my imagination, for when I looked closely, there was nothing to be seen but the trees, whose branches swayed innocently with the wind.

"...now that you know how and where Bowtruckles are found, we'll be going into the Forbidden forest..."

I really should start listening to my Professors.

"But, _Professor._" A Slytherin girl spoke up with slight contempt, "Forbidden Forest is _forbidden_. Going in would mean breaking the rules—,"

"Miss Brooks," Kettleburn replied, turning towards her. "If you're afraid to go inside, just say so." I snickered silently. Hmm...did laughing at others make me a mean person? "You're allowed to go inside the forest with a teacher. And since _I_ am your professor..."

The girl's ears turned a pale pink, but she said nothing.

"C'mon, then!" Kettleburn said with his usual enthusiasm, rubbing his hands together— which meant things were going to be bad for us. "Divide yourselves into pairs quickly."

See? I knew things were going to be bad. For me, at least. My four roommates quickly paired among themselves, as did the Marauders, leaving me glancing warily at the Slytherins.

I was so good at premonitions that I could easily replace Trelawney. This day was going from bad to worse.

By a fortunate turn of events, however, Slytherins turned out to be even-numbered as well, so that I was left happily partnerless.

"Everyone's got a partner? Let's—," It was then that Kettleburn spotted me and my enormous misfortune. Oh no. He raised a gnarled, wooden hand at me. "Miss Kent, where's your partner?"

I really didn't understand why teachers ask so stupidly rhetoric questions when they are going to dictate your life in any case.

The sound of loud laughter from the back of the group reached Kettleburn's ears and his glance shifted to the four laughing boys- no doubt enjoying some private joke. Somehow, I knew what was coming before it happened.

"Mr. Black!" he called with his sternest voice, which wasn't much, but today it filled me with dread. "I can see you're not going to do anything productive with Mr. Pettigrew." Black looked up and attempted an innocent face, but a mocking grin slipped out. "You can partner with Miss Kent in that case. Pettigrew, move with Potter and Lupin."

Black's grin vanished at once and his expression became distinctly cool. His friends, on the other hand, were now laughing at our fate.

Boys.

Nevertheless, I saw James send me what he thought was a covert glance. Weird.

Black glared at me as if it was _my_ fault.

_Okay, Lisa, don't panic. It's just a class. Forty minutes. No big deal._

"You've _got_ to be kidding me!" I exclaimed.

Oops. I clamped my mouth shut tightly to avoid further embarrassment.

"Is there a problem, Miss Kent?" I shook my head, my lips pursed. "Good. Now listen up everyone. I'm going to take you to a copse of wand-trees, where Bowtruckles are usually found. Remember, keep close to the group and don't make too much noise, or you'll scare them away." He paused as everyone nodded. "Let's go, then. Follow me."

I stood where I was, my back resolutely towards Black, watching the rest of the students go. I refused to go to _him_, the idiot.

Somebody bumped into me so hard that I staggered forward. People always seemed to do that to me.

Black passed me at a nonchalant pace behind the rest of the class, whistling innocently.

I glared at his retreating back, my fingers twitching towards my wand. Clenching my jaw in fury, I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breaths.

_Calm down, Lisa. Don't murder him._

With a final huff, I set off after him. It was only then I realised how much my shoulder ached. Wincing, I massaged it with my other hand, determined to get back at the git.

"Idiot!" I muttered at his back, seething. He turned suddenly, apparently having heard, making me run into him. I fell back on the ground, hard.

"Ouch!" I gasped as my head hit the ground. My vision swam as I tried to sit up and I clutched my head to clear it.

Black stood unharmed a few feet away, watching me with a sort of detached amusement. He shook his head.

"I know I'm irresistible," he began in a mocking voice. "But that's no reason to fling yourself at me in the middle of a class, is there, _Kent_?"

He was clearly trying to rile me up. Which was exactly what happened.

My blood boiling, I pushed myself off the ground with my remaining dignity. Brushing the feeling of humiliation away, I narrowed my eyes to the best of my ability.

Black laughed out loud at my expression. I felt my face turn pink but I didn't relent.

"You're such an _arse_, Black!" I spat.

"Nice comeback," he replied sarcastically, turning away with his hands in his pockets. I stepped around him, coming to stop in front of him to make him stop walking as well.

"You're the biggest idiot on the planet!" I was very close to shrieking, but I didn't care. It was like that incident on the train. All the frustration bubbling out at once. "If _you_ hadn't created such a ruckus in the middle of the class," my finger jabbed his chest, and he swatted it away coldly, "I wouldn't have ended up with _you_, you good-for-nothi—,"

I sounded like Evans during one of her tirades and I didn't mind. My screaming was cut off, however, when he grabbed the hand I was jabbing him with in a vice-like grip.

For a moment, I stood like that, gaping like a goldfish at his hand which was gripping my wrist. Then I had wrenched my hand from his in horror.

"Eek!" I screamed, rubbing my wrist vigorously against my robes. Black had _touched_ me! Revulsion gripped me, and I hopped a few more feet back, glaring at him in outrage.

He just raised a cool eyebrow in response, pretending to be indifferent, but his expression clearly said I was mad.

"Don't you dare touch me again, Black!" I said through gritted teeth. Quite a feat, if I may say so myself.

"Then perhaps you could return the favour?" he said with disdain. He turned away again, muttering something that sounded like "...gotten stuck to me like a leech..."

"Excuse me!" I screeched, stepping in front of him again to halt him in his tracks. This guy seriously brought out the worst in me. "I got stuck with you because of _your_ idiocy!"

"Ever thought that perhaps it happened because of you?" he shot back, clearly angry now. His grey eyes flashed. "That maybe, had _you_ been a half-way decent person, you might have had a partner? Or a friend?" his lips curled in disgust.

I didn't know why his words hurt me so, but they did. He had said worse things many times before, but this time I reeled back from shock, speechless. Maybe because this time they were true? My only true friend had left me, and was now ignoring me. Who else inside this castle tolerated me? The Fat Lady?

_I'm done with you. _My throat closed against my wishes.

As I stared in shock, did I see his eyes soften a little? Did I see guilt in his expression?

I looked again. Nope. In fact, a smug smirk was now creeping on his lips.

It was me who turned away this time, striding away from him, embarrassed and ashamed at myself for letting him get to me.

"Oi!" Black called, apparently not having moved at all. I lengthened my strides in response, coarse fury pumping in my veins, replacing the hurt. "Fine! Go in the wrong direction! I'll happily tell Kettleburn you ditched the class on purpose!"

I halted abruptly, skidding a little just as I realised the rest of the class was no longer to be seen in front of me. Turning back slowly, I saw that his smirk had just gotten wider.

Arrogant, egotistical jerk!

When I slowly reached him, scowling darkly, I could see a path leading into the forest where the last of the students could be seen disappearing behind a bend into the darkness.

Ugh! Could the day be any more embarrassing?

"So, are you going to stand here arguing childishly," Black said, entering the forest. "Or are you actually going to join the class? Maybe you're too chicken."

I could practically feel the smugness radiating from him. I pushed past him angrily. "As if I want to spend another minute with you," I snapped.

Black didn't reply, but I heard him whistling to himself, to show that my words were of no importance. I didn't know where Black's smug attitude was coming from, and I wasn't sure if I preferred it over his anger. Whenever he was angry (see: all the time whenever I was around), at least I knew I was annoying him; but now I could almost hear his head inflating from self-importance.

Deeper into the forest we meandered, but the path remained mostly clear, devoid of any fallen logs or shrubs and I wondered whether Kettleburn was clearing it with magic. Having finally caught up with the rest of the class, I followed Alice closely on the narrow path, not wanting to get lost. It didn't seem as if we were going into the darker part of the forest, however; the canopy of trees overhead threw ample light upon us and trees grew sparse as on the edge. I didn't spot any animals either; the forest in this area seemed deserted. Darn! I really wanted to see a unicorn.

Black, for the most part, remained quiet, though he occasionally muttered a few curses which I understood were being sent my way. I didn't reply; I just haughtily followed Alice, my nose in the air. He had called _me_ childish (which I might have been, a tad bit), hadn't he? So _I'd_ act mature and ignore him then.

"Stop." Kettleburn's soft voice carried back to us just as we reached a clearing of sorts. It wasn't a clearing, exactly; trees seemed to grow strangely farther apart then at any other part in the forest so far. Through the sparse growth, I could now see the rest of the class up ahead clearly.

"These are wand-tree," Kettleburn's spooky whisper seemed oddly fitting in the green light and I saw a couple of girls shiver. I rolled my eyes, to hide the shiver that had inadvertently gone down my own spine. "Remember- do not make any sudden movements. Bowtruckles are generally very calm and harmless; but they can gouge out your eyeballs in self-defence."

The class spread out on Kettleburn's order. I chose a tree farthest away from the rest of the group. As I eyed the tree for any hole where possible Bowtruckles might be hiding, I felt a presence behind me.

"That's not even a wand-tree," Black snickered from behind me, pointing to a taller, thinner tree instead, which was closer to the group.

I felt my face go red. Ugh! If only I had listened to Kettleburn earlier, I wouldn't have suffered endless embarrassment at the hands of Black.

"Bloody git," I mumbled, striding to him. His smirk simply widened. I found myself infuriated beyond belief in return. I always loved it when _he_ was the one irate— something which my mere presence had always done before. But today, my company only seemed to be inflating his already gigantic ego.

_And_ he was making me sound like bloody Evans.

"Now let's see," Black muttered, scattering the Bowtruckle-feed Kettleburn had distributed, at the base of the tree, before turning to me. "Since you're otherwise absolutely useless, would you at least be quiet!" he snapped in a low voice, ceasing my muttering of curses.

Aha! Finally a satisfactory reaction! I grinned, but he had already turned away.

I waited, leaning against another tree, my gaze fixed on the hollow, so as not to look at Black more than was absolutely necessary.

As I stared at the tree-hollow, an evil idea formed in my head. It wasn't much, but it would give me much needed relish and triumph. And of course, my dignity.

I stood up straight just as a Bowtruckle appeared, hopping out of the hollow to feed on the bait. Now was the time when my plan would come into action. I glanced at where Black had previously been lounging, expecting to see him come forward and grab hold of the Bowtruckle.

But he wasn't there.

"Bloody—," I whirled around a one eighty degree, searching for Black aka The Ruin-er of All Wonderfully Laid Plans. I spotted him a dozen feet away— back with his friends, for once seemingly deep in serious discussion. I gazed stealthily at James for a few moments, then snapped out of it to contemplate the problem at hand.

I huffed, resisting the urge to stamp my foot childishly. There was no way out. If I called Black for help, he would surely act all smug and think I was a coward. And I don't think that even my tiny plan was worth that.

Biting my lip, I approached the Bowtruckle slowly; it seemed to be happily gorging on lice and dead insects which we had sprinkled.

Crouching low, I wrapped my hand around its body. The Bowtruckle looked up, but did nothing. I sighed in relief. Kettleburn made creatures sound dangerous on purpose.

"KENT!" Black's loud voice in my ear made my heart leap in shock and I jumped, reflexes taking over. I whirled around in a swift, sudden motion, my fist clenching hard around the creature. The Bowtruckle retaliated; its thin, razor sharp fingers slashed across my face.

It seemed as if its fingers had cut through my very cheekbone. A hoarse cry left my throat as immense pain shot through my cheek, just below my left eye and dropped the Bowtruckle.

A few girls shrieked. The next few seconds were a whirlwind of confusion for me. Voices were calling out in panic, a few more screams were heard; they swirled indecipherably inside my head as I lay there in my same crouched position, my hands pressed against my face, refusing to open my eyes. The cut itched and prickled and I could feel the blood pouring down my cheek.

Footsteps approached me quickly. The next moment, somebody grabbed my shoulder to hoist me up and I let myself be, still clutching my face to stem the flow of blood. Through my fingers, I could feel how deep the cut was, how I could even touch the flesh through it. Another inadvertent scream ripped through the air, and I realised it was me that had cried out in pain.

Through the hazy thoughts, the one that never quite left my brain was that I had wanted to do the exact same thing to Black.

"Miss Kent, you have to remove your hands," somebody was saying, yanking at my wrist.

My left hand slipped away despite myself and I heard a quick spell being muttered. Light flared fleetingly against my closed eyelids and I cried out again as pain stabbed more sharply at my wound; I clamped my hand to my face again.

"...what kind of teacher are you if you can't even heal a wound?" I heard Black's outraged voice.

Wait a minute; Black was angry on _my_ behalf? I couldn't even begin to grasp that thought— slightly delirious as I was with pain.

"...just take her to the Hospital Wing and let me do my job," Kettleburn was saying.

A string of curses. Footfalls in my direction.

"Get up!" a voice grumbled, pulling me to my feet from where I had fallen to my knees again. "C'mon!"

The person grabbed my right arm and dragged me along, but I still refused to let go of my face. The loud voices slowly faded away and all I could hear was the crunch of our footsteps.

"It hurts," I whimpered, clutching the gash more tightly, momentarily forgetting who I was talking to.

Black didn't reply, just dragged me along faster. After a while, I saw the back of my eyelids turn red and realised we must have left the forest behind.

"Would you hurry up?" Black snapped, letting go of my arm. Which consequently made me fall on my face.

"Aaah," I screamed as I fell, my hands leaving my face.

"Get up!" he grumbled, pulling me to my feet again. I stumbled after him, too engrossed in the feel of my throbbing face to listen to him. "...idiot...Kettleburn...should have left you..." Odd words floated back to me, but I ignored them.

"Are you really so thick?" Black snapped when I stumbled again.

This time, however the words registered in my brain.

"Excuse me!" I exclaimed in fury, wrenching away from his grasp. I noticed dimly that we had reached the Hospital Wing corridor. "It was _you_ who did this!" I gestured aggressively to my other hand, which was blocking the flow of blood. "I nearly lost an eye, you git!"

"Well, if you had listened to Kettleburn in the first place," he snapped back, "this wouldn't have happened either!"

I gasped in utter disbelief. The nerve!

I fumed, taking a step forward, trying to ignore my pain and look threatening.

Then I remembered that I had wanted to do the same to him. Though it was also true that I had only wanted to injure him on the arm or the like. Was it possible he had wanted the same and this had all been an accident? I remembered his fury towards Kettleburn, then dismissed the thought at the same time. Black was just furious because he had to walk me here.

I winced as the wound throbbed in a worse way and Black scowled. Attractive.

"Would you just go already?" he said through clenched teeth, striding ahead of me. I struggled to keep up. "So I can be rid of you?"

"Of course not," I replied sarcastically, as we reached the doors. "Who wouldn't want to spend extra time with you?"

For a moment we both scowled at each other- me through half a face - then he turned to go.

"Wait!" I said, then stopped, biting my lip in discomfort. What did you say to your sworn enemy who had just escorted you to the Hospital Wing, but had injured you in the first place? "Er...thanks," I said grudgingly, shifting from foot to foot.

Black looked equally uncomfortable as he looked at me, then glanced away. "I wouldn't have come if I hadn't been told to."

Some of the discomfort dissipated.

"And since when have _you_ listened to your teachers?" I shot back.

Black smirked. "Don't think you are anybody important or anything, Kent," he drawled. "I just wanted to ditch the class."

"And I wouldn't have thanked you if I wasn't such a nice person." I snapped. "Unlike you, who can't even apologise."

"Don't hold your breath," he replied lazily, striding away.

"_Arse_," I called, relieved to see his back. I sighed in respite. Thank Merlin I was saved from actually expressing gratitude to Black. May that day never come.

At the same time, I couldn't help but wonder grudgingly that perhaps, Black was a human being, after all. And not a Dementor in disguise.

"Madam Pomfrey!" I called, cheerfully, entering the empty wing.

Madam Pomfrey came bustling out of her office, and her expression immediately turned alarmed when she caught sight of my bloody face.

"What happened?" she asked as she wiped away the blood after forcing me to sit on a bed. Without waiting for a reply, she spoke again. "Can't you stay out of trouble even for a week, Miss Kent?"

I huffed sulkily. She knew full well that none of that which happened was my fault.

"I didn't do anything!" I whined. "It was all Black's fault!"

She didn't appear to have heard me as she commented, "tsk, tsk! You look terrible."

Gee, why does she always seem intent on strangling my already minuscule self-esteem?

Madam Pomfrey ignored my pout and muttered a spell. I winced, but blew out a breath when the wound healed instantly. I touched my cheek. No scar.

"Thank you," I said to her genuinely as I got up. "Now what about this one?" I asked innocently, pointing at the old one on my forehead.

Madam Pomfrey frowned in disapproval and I took that as my cue to leave.

* * *

><p>I made my way through the people quickly, hurrying after Frank Longbottom, who I had just spotted coming out of a class with other sixth-years. If he'd just tell me which class Jatin had next; I was determined to corner him before the next class.<p>

"Longbottom!" I shouted over a few third-years as I ran after him. "Oi, Frank!"

That made him stop and turn around. When he spotted me, out of breath, he raised his eyebrows in evident surprise.

"Um, sorry but do you know where Jatin is?" I asked, coming straight to the point.

If Frank looked taken aback before, it was nothing to what he looked now. He studied my face carefully, as if searching to see if I was joking.

Why would I? Surely he had noticed that Jatin hadn't been hanging out with me for the past few days? Apparently not. And here I thought Ravenclaws were smart.

"Hello?" I said, waving a hand in front of his face, put-off by his behaviour. Had Jatin told him not to talk to me or something?

Frank shook his head, as if to rid himself of thoughts, then spoke slowly in a most solemn voice.

"He's gone."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **The riddle right at the beginning is by **Catherine Maria Fanshawe. **Could anyone guess the answer, hm?

Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. You guys are amazing. :)


	13. The Soft Neck Of James Potter

**A/N: **Author's Note before the story. First time for me, but I think I owe you guys an apology. *sheepish face*. I'm really, truly, SO sorry everyone who reads this for taking so long. :( I deserve to be thrown rotten tomatoes at, I know. Forgive me, pretty please? :) Because really, the only time I have time to right is six in the morning, while travelling in the metro (while I'm half-asleep, so sorry if this chapter is extra-crappy). Plus, I know I haven't responded to your awesome reviews, so forgive me for that too. :( But I figured, you'd rather read more than read my overly-grateful responses.

Be assured however, that I love all of you kind people to death! :D THANK YOU- _It All Ends_; FoxFire45; _Potter-Freak-01_; SiriuslyKrazy81; _ImperatrixNyx_; WobblyJelly; _Jazzie123_; opaline star; _mcgonagiggles_; Sadness and my anonymous reviewer without a name. :)

Also, the answer to the riddle in the last chapter (if you guys still remember) was the letter 'H'. Yeah, I know it was too literal. I sat for half an hour to crack it, but couldn't :P Kudos to people who did, however! :D

Now onward! :D

**PS**~ The chapter title- random much? :P

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter: The Soft Neck Of James Potter<span>**

_"Ah! well-a-day! what evil looks  
><em>_Had I from old and young!  
><em>_Instead of the cross, the Albatross  
><em>_About my neck was hung."_

_~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge (The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner)_

* * *

><p>"He's gone."<p>

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Talk about small talk and useless comments.

"Really?" I said sarcastically. "_I_ didn't know he had gone to class. Now if you could kindly tell me _which_ class he has gone to...?"

Frank just stared dumbly back, as if not really believing me.

_Really_ now.

I huffed in impatience, stamping my foot a little. "Look. I would really appreciate an answer _today_, you know."

Longbottom shook his head again, his eyes grave and far from joking. "Kent, Jatin is _gone_. He's _left_ Hogwarts. Heck, he's even left Europe! He's _gone_."

I stared at him for a few moments, waiting for him to start laughing at this crappy joke.

I took a deep breath to assuage my extreme irritation. "Longbottom," I said slowly in my best patient voice. "I know you don't like me very much, but I really, _really_ need to talk to Jatin right now. I don't know _what_ he's told you, but—,"

"You really don't know, do you?" his eyes widened in seemingly sudden comprehension. "He didn't tell you? Merlin..." he breathed, staring at me and rubbing the back of his neck. "He didn't..."

But I had no time for his epiphany or anything of the sort. "Didn't tell me _what_, exactly?" I demanded, trepidation finally worming in a little into my gut and twisting it uncomfortably. "What?" I prodded again when he didn't reply.

Frank looked pityingly at me for the first time. "Look, Kent," he began apologetically. "I have no idea why he didn't tell you. I mean we've known for the past week and you were his best mate and everything..." a warm, comforting feeling spread like butterbeer through my chest at his words. Of course, Jatin would always be my best buddy. I beamed happily at him, but it faltered slightly when I processed his words more carefully.

"_Were_? What do you mean were?" I asked shakily. "I know he's mad at me; but surely not that—,"

I was cut off as Longbottom grabbed my shoulders and shook me roughly. I froze, shocked by his actions.

"You aren't listening to me, Lisa!" he snapped. The use of my nickname shocked me even more and I found myself unable to reply, gawking at him with my mouth hanging open.

He noticed my flabbergasted expression and his cheeks coloured a bit; he let go of my arms and took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck again.

"Look," he sighed. "You must listen to what I'm saying. Jatin's parents withdrew him from Hogwarts. _Yesterday_. They will be out of the country by now. He'd known that for a week. Surely you knew..." he eyed me hopefully.

I closed my mouth with a snap. "This isn't funny anymore, Longbottom!" I growled warningly, ignoring that awful sense of growing foreboding in my stomach. "Correction— it wasn't funny in the first place! So cut the crap—,"

"This isn't a joke!" he snapped back, patience clearly waning now. "Go ask someone else if you don't believe me!"

"Yes, I will!" I shouted back unreasonably. "Someone who doesn't get a sick pleasure in telling twisted lies to people!"

With that, I turned on my heel as one and strode away in the opposite direction. He didn't stop me.

I marched away from him, my stance stiff and contemptuous on the outside; but on the inside panic threatened to engulf me in a tidal wave of betrayal.

_What a liar!_ I seethed, trying to gulp away the terrible acknowledgment that he wasn't being insincere. The crowd and the noise had melted into the background; a plethora of jumbled voices and hazy faces. One word caught my attention, though; the very word that had been my happiness for the past two years.

The name reverberated inside my head like an eerie, never-ending echo. _Jatin..._

I whipped around, searching for the source of that damned name. My eyes came to rest on two girls, whom I recognised as the Ravenclaw chasers, as if drawn by some invisible magnetism. My legs carried my towards them of their own accord before I knew, and I found myself approaching the other end of the corridor through the crowd.

"...that's what I heard," the shorter, black-haired girl was saying in sombre tones. "So, apparently, he had no choice but to go along. But _we_ are done for, aren't we? With the Quidditch season comin' up and everything!"

My heart pounded in my chest furiously, yet I still refused to believe anything. Left! That was absurd! Surely, surely, they were talking about something else. Because surely, surely he would have told me otherwise...

_Would he?_ That sly voice spoke up inside my head.

_Yes he would_, I replied vehemently, trying to push the horrid thoughts out of the recesses of my mind.

"Yes, he would," I repeated firmly to myself, though I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"But Jatin's gone!"

My heart leaped into my throat, beyond the control of that now miniscule part of my brain that still fervidly denied this news. Refused to accept it.

"_Gone_!" The taller girl sounded distraught. "He was one of the best beaters at Hogwarts! He was hilarious too! Kept us toge..."

I didn't hear anymore. I didn't need to; didn't want to.

Whirling around, I ran.

**~o0o~**

Time became meaningless, trickling by in seconds or whooshing away in hours, I couldn't tell. I was drifting through a myriad of known thoughts, never touching them, just observing them from afar. It was better this way; not to think, not to feel _anything_. A torrent of realisation threatened to break through any second, sweeping me along with it. But I resisted.

Instead, I focused my gaze on the scene in front of me for the first time.

I found myself staring at the Hogwarts grounds, a cool air blowing softly against my face. Had I unknowingly reached the Owlery? It certainly seemed so. Even the familiar stench of decaying bones and a hundred years of accumulated earth couldn't bring comfort to me today; a comfort I had sought for two years. It had been my safe place, my refuge.

The Owlery couldn't be my haven today or perhaps ever again. It was too full of happy memories.

I screwed up my face against the emotion; that sudden painful wrenching of my sore heart.

_No, it's a lie_, that once strong part of me protested, more feebly than ever before.

I shook my head.

As if by the gesture itself, a sudden ray of hope burgeoned in my chest as I remembered my surroundings.

It could still be untrue.

I swivelled around, searching for that last remnant, the last tie that could assuage my fears. Fears of betrayal.

Rows upon rows of sleeping owls I searched, for there was one I could recognise anywhere. I slipped and stumbled, yet still persevered in the menial task.

_He wouldn't_, that part of me that was actually my belief, my trust in him assured me. It was as if that day we had met at exactly the same place, he had carved a niche into my being that couldn't be mutated.

"Sparrow..." I whispered softly, my voice breaking on the last syllable.

No reply.

"SPARROW!" I screamed. Desperation threatened to claw at that last piece of my belief that _he_ had been my best friend and I had been his...that he had actually cared.

Owls hooted and ruffled their wings indignantly, roused unceremoniously from their sleep by my shriek.

No sparrow.

* * *

><p>It was like a horrible nightmare, those terrifying ones from which you never seem to wake up. You run and run, trying to escape, trying to evade that unearthly terror that stalked you and wanted to seize you in its clutches.<p>

Except this was no nightmare.

And there was bloody nobody to run from.

I had missed the rest of my classes. I had simply stood there by the Owlery window, my mind still afresh with that memory of the long past, till the last bell rang, signalling the end of the lessons for the day. My mind was a whirlwind of untapped emotion. I didn't know what to believe in and what to feel. What _did_ I feel? Numbness.

That haziness, blurriness around the edges. It was like a surreal dream that you couldn't quite grasp.

_He's gone._

A sudden onslaught of intense emotion made me weak in the knees. Breathless, I gripped the window ledge for support so tightly that my palms dug into the rough surface, drawing blood. I winced against the pain, the one that had shot through my insides, as if they were being chopped by the serrated edge of a knife.

I needed someone; I needed someone to distract me so bad.

And the answer came to me as swiftly as if I had been staring at it in the face the whole time.

**~o0o~**

"...and when they got a bit older, they won' even come near me at first. But me dad taught me to look at 'em lovingly and pat them, yeh see? They like that, y'see?"

I nodded, listening closely for the first time in my life. Hagrid's hut was warm, soothing and felt like home. I couldn't have asked for a better place considering the circumstances.

Considering that he's—

I cut short that train of thought by whirling around from where I was making tea (which now looked like a greyish lump) and asking eagerly (much too eagerly), "Is that why you love animals, Hagrid? Because of your dad?"

Hagrid, instead of being blissfully oblivious as always, turned his crinkled eyes towards me in concern. Dropping his cooking pan in which he had been making cookies, he gazed at me with surprisingly kind eyes that made me fidget in discomfort.

"Lisa, darlin', are yeh alright?" his voice was warm, like his house and his person, and for some inexplicable reason, brought a painful lump to my throat. I turned away from his scrutinising eyes, letting my hair cover my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied in a voice that did not sound like mine at all. It was high-pitched, squeaky and made me cringe. I cleared my throat. "Why?" I asked in a would-be normal tone.

I heard Hagrid's heavy footfalls and knew he was approaching me. I gulped, trying to arrange an innocent expression on my face and turned to face him. Hagrid stopped a couple of feet away, his expression utterly unchanged. My 'innocent' expression didn't waver either. I knew Hagrid well enough to know that he was as perceptive as a flobberworm, unable to spot lies and untruths. Another question about dragons, and he would forget about this altogether.

"So what were you saying about those unicorns, Hagrid?"

He didn't reply, but gazed at me in concern. I gulped again, fidgeting with my robes. Concern. The word for some unfathomably made the gulp in my throat more painful. This kind hearted man was the only person inside this castle now who could bear to be with me.

And perhaps it was the fact that the warmth I had lost radiated off him, or that his expression was the sincerest I had seen in what seemed like ages or the fact that Jatin was _gone_, gone without a trace, without telling _me_, telling me _anything_ or even saying goodbye, I could never tell. All I genuinely felt was this irresistible impulse to tell him, tell him everything I was feeling, how very wrong my life was, how the person I had needed so much had left me. Because he had never actually cared.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had taken those two steps forward and embraced him. My arms reached only halfway around his waist, but I buried my face in his robes, breathing shakily. He patted me clumsily on the back; my knees shook. Somehow, the gesture made my throat constrict.

"Knew there was summat wron'," he said gruffly, patting me even more.

I simply shook my head, although I had no idea why, and buried my face deeper. This was where I wanted to be forever now— in this warm cocoon of safety- away from the reality and the truth- stark and painful. Except Reg, nobody had ever felt more of a parental figure to me, as Hagrid did at that moment.

I breathed deeply, revelling in the moment.

Then the door burst open with a crash that at once shattered the temporary illusion of safety.

"...I heard Davies has been unable to replace Patil as yet!" James' excited voice drifted to me along with a gust of wind that swirled around the hut. "Ravenclaw is _so_ going to be flattened this year!"

I froze, my eyes widening. On wobbly knees, I drew back from Hagrid slightly, my teeth clenched together in a sort of muted horror. The warmth vanished.

Hagrid turned around towards the newcomers, hiding my frame.

"Hey, Hagrid!" I heard Black call from behind him.

"'lo, boys," Hagrid sounded nervous as he waved one large hand at the visitors. I stood frozen behind Hagrid, my body completely obscured from the boys' view. I couldn't even bring myself to wish it'd stay that way.

"Did you hear, Hagrid?" James' excitement would have been contagious at any other time, but today it sickened me. "That Ravenclaw beater has left Hogwarts! You know what this means? Gryffindor is the favourite for the winning team!"

Hagrid didn't reply and I had sinking feeling that he hadn't forgotten about me. My stomach clenched; I didn't think I could handle the Marauders today, and at the same time, felt a complete unwillingness to do anything about it.

Hagrid shifted slightly as he shuffled a little in obvious unease. I cringed, resigning myself to the upcoming confrontation.

"Nah, I didn't know tha'." Hagrid shifted again. "Listen boys, this isn't a good time. Yeh all should go." He was shuffling towards the door, shepherding them outside by blocking the doorway.

I sighed, unsurprised. It was so like Hagrid to be so unsubtle. I debated whether I should just excuse myself and leave before I had to face them, which was inevitable, after all.

I released a slow breath, sinking into a couch and closing my eyes resignedly.

"What's wrong, Hagrid?" I heard Peter's worried voice and opened my eyes slowly.

"Methinks Hagrid finally got his dragon!" Black's voice had the teasing tone that never quite left his person. At any other time this statement would have shocked me, but today I just felt mildly bewildered.

I closed my eyes. I was tired. So, so tired...

A few quick steps, a pause, Hagrid's would-be stern voice, a few more steps were heard, followed by a triumphant, "Beat ya!"

I shut my eyes tighter. A complete silence pervaded the hut, and I could only imagine the expression on Black's face.

"So _this_ is the special guest Hagrid was hiding from us."

Sitting there with my eyes closed, when I couldn't see his expression, my mind immediately registered the sharp change in his voice- from a teasing lilt to a snarky tone. I gulped, feeling myself tremble a little. Here, when I was so vulnerable, that actually hurt. That mere change in his tone hurt. The fact that he could be so, so _human _at one moment and vile the next was so hurtful. Nothing he had done had ever hurt me before, but this minuscule thing did. I finally opened my eyes, but instead of focusing them on him, stared straight ahead into the fireplace.

I heard more footsteps, probably the rest of them ducking around Hagrid into the hut.

"Oh!"

A heavy and awkward silence hung after the exclamation and I steeled myself to move. I had never wanted to be as far from James, from those _Marauders_ as I did at that moment. Because they had everything in life, didn't they? Just like Evans. But most importantly, they were _together_, weren't they? They had each other. And despite how much despicable Black might be; he still proved himself to be better than me, didn't he? _He_ still had friends, still had people in his life who cared about him and to whom he mattered.

I didn't.

And I realised at that moment, however much I might have wished and hoped and dreamed, the fact, the stark-naked truth remained that James didn't even know Jatin had been my friend. However much I might have pined after him, he simply didn't care. Nobody did. And why should he? When even ..._he_ hadn't cared...it was ridiculous to expect a near stranger to care about me.

"_Ever thought that perhaps it happened because of you? That maybe, had _you_ been a half-way decent person, you might have had a partner? Or a friend?"_

He was right, wasn't he? He had been right all along.

"Kent." The word was spat disdainfully as if my name itself was poison. Then Black laughed. It was as cold as I had ever expected. It was high time that I moved, ran away before Black could utter another word. I wish I could say what kept me glued to my seat was the courage to face him and a thousand more depraved creatures like him, but the real reason was so much more pathetic. I didn't want to be alone, couldn't be alone. Yet.

For once, however, I was saved from Black's company. A small squeaking from outside startled me into looking up. Which was a mistake, considering everyone else was staring at me, probably waiting for me to excuse myself. But before I could stutter something, the sound of a distant crash was heard, followed by the sound of hooves. This time it got everyone else's attention and I sighed in relief.

"What was that?" Peter sounded nervous as Hagrid vanished out of the door.

"Probably one of his thestrals again." Lupin replied. "C'mon let's go help him."

I sighed in relief again when the sound of steps faded again. Now was the time to go, before my feelings became even more of a mess. I was jealous of _James_ now? Pathetic.

Forcing myself to get up, I finally stood up a little shakily on my feet, just as Hagrid's voice was heard. "They ran away again, those unicorns. Bless 'em."

I moved towards the door when a voice somewhere beside me shocked me into a standstill. "Feeling pretty pathetic this evening, Kent?" For a moment I was utterly stunned, wondering if Back was a Legimens. However, I realised belatedly that he hadn't read my mind; rather, I must have looked obviously pathetic, sighing like a hundred year old and petulantly avoiding everyone's eyes. I didn't respond in any way, just moved towards the door before I faced any further provocation.

"So are you stalking me now, Kent?" Change of tactic, huh?

I didn't bother replying.

"Speechless in my presence?" Black asked again, making me halt in front of the doorway. His questions, while not driving me crazy today, still irritated me.

"Don't flatter yourself," I mumbled without turning around.

Surprisingly, Black gave a short bark-like laugh. He sounded amused. "What- no snarky reply? No screaming? No snarling like a deranged gorilla?"

I turned slowly, feeling a little indignation beneath the shock and the hurt that had enveloped me since this afternoon. I didn't _snarl_, did I? Black lounged in the couch I had previously occupied, hands behind his head and his feet resting on the table. He looked the epitome of carelessness and indifference while I knew he was everything but. An amused smile played on his lips, just like it always did whenever he wanted to rile me up.

"Where's the spitfire? Or did she leave along with your dearest _friend_? What was his name again? _Patil_, right?"

My insides turned cold as I felt a blush rising to my cheeks.

Black caught my expression and laughed again. "Finally left you, did he? About time," he smirked. "Must have realised how absolutely pathetic you are."

My breathing was turning shallow. "_No._ He _had_ to go, because of his parents!" the vehemence of my reply was completely lost. My voice was shrill and squeaky and so weak. I sounded pathetic. Just like he had said I was.

Black grinned. I closed my eyes to perhaps somehow block off the sound of his voice. "Oh please, everyone's parents know well enough that Hogwarts is safer than their homes." I gulped. A terrible feeling was rising inside me- the realisation that I would finally succumb to my fears and emotions if I stood there for a moment longer. My feet couldn't move, however.

"Don't." I tried to speak steadily and forcefully, but it came out as a whisper. Black continued speaking.

"— is that what he told you?" A mocking laugh. "He could have stayed, with _you_, if he had wanted to. Face it, Kent- _nobody_ wants to be with you. You don't _matter_."

I do. I did, right?

I did.

I did?

Then why did he _leave_? Leave me?

A lone tear slipped out. I felt it trace the contour of my cheek and drip down my chin. I had never felt as lost and alone as I did then.

Black stopped speaking suddenly as I opened my eyes. "You are an arse." My voice broke on the last word and I swallowed a sob with difficulty. "_You_..." I couldn't speak further; sobs were choking my throat, and more tears dripped down, faster than before. "You are a true Black." My voice was become louder and hoarser. I wiped away the tears furiously. He just looked as indifferent as ever, his eyes as cold, his posture as cool, and his face as expressionless. "That's right!" I shrieked, as more tears came and more sobs wracked my body, nearly swallowing the childish words. "You're a true Black- even worse! You are _just_ like your family. A Black, a Black, a _BLACK_!"

The last word was a wail and a shriek in one. I sounded childish and immature, I knew, but I goddamn didn't care as long as I had hurt him. I didn't stay to observe. Spinning around, I ran again. I stumbled down the steps, out on the rough grounds. The wind was bitingly cold and it was getting dark. The sobs were painful and hoarse, changing at times into coughing fits, but I kept running. I didn't even know why I was running anymore, or why I was crying- was it because of Black or Jatin?

I didn't care. I hated them both. I hated them _both_ so much.

My ankle twisted suddenly and I fell, falling into a messy heap onto the ground. And still I cried, cried till my throat hurt and my head spun. I cried like I hadn't in two years. All because of _them_.

"I hate y—," I broke off, dissolving into more sobs.

"_Dearest whats-your-face, I hereby pronounce you the Great Jatin Patil's friend." The kid looked elated. "Cherish this title, little girl. It is one that I give to few."_

Lies. All lies. I wanted to scream that word from the rooftops. I wanted to scream about how Jatin had been a rotten liar. But I _couldn't_. Because I couldn't hate him. Even if he had hated me.

I didn't know how much time had passed since I had been sitting in the same crouched position on the grassy grounds, but my sobs had quietened and my tears frozen when I heard somebody coming in my direction. I quickly scrambled to my feet and wiped my face on my sleeve, not wanting to embarrass myself any further. I turned around. From where I stood, neither the Forbidden Forest nor Hagrid's hut was visible; I was probably near the main entrance of the castle. I could probably slip around without the someone noticing me.

I snorted. As if 'the someone', whoever he was, cared that I existed. As if anybody did.

I started to turn, just as a voice called out, "Lisa!"

It was James, scrambling up to the top of the hill, to come after _me_.

Shouldn't have my heart been beating furiously against my ribcage? Shouldn't a blush have been rising up on my cheeks? Shouldn't have I been feeling tongue-tied?

Then why was it that all I was feeling was a mild confusion...and exhaustion?

I watched wearily as James reached me, panting slightly.

"Are...are you alright?" he looked uncertain but concerned.

I resisted the urge to snort again. "Yeah...I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I sounded casual, and it marvelled me how easily I was able to lie.

James frowned in response. "Well, we heard screaming and Pa-Sirius said you ran away. And you've got tears streaks down your face." He added, almost as an afterthought.

I felt the heat rise to my face, as I surreptitiously tried to rub them off. "Pfft! I just fell...and sprained my ankle. Yeah, that' all."

Apparently he didn't buy my lie. He frowned again. "Look, I don't know you very well, but if you need to talk to someone- I'm here, alright?" he said gently.

His actions confused me. The words bubbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Why are always so _nice_ to me?" I exclaimed in utter confusion, before clamping a hand over my unruly mouth.

James eyes widened a little along with mine, and he gave me an awkward smile. Yeah, it so like me to make everything awkward. Surprisingly, today I didn't care very much.

"I am a naturally nice person, see?" he said with a sort of suavity and flashed me a grin, making me go pink again. "Nothing you can do about that."

It was awkward from then on. I didn't know how to respond to his statement, and we were both fidgeting a little around. I decided to break the silence.

"So, yeah, I'm fine, see?" I said awkwardly. He nodded, smiling. I smiled back a little. "So...bye?"

"See ya." As he turned to go, unwanted words tumbled out of my mouth again.

"Why don't you hate me?" I started rambling. "I mean...even after...you _know_ what I did. That day. And everyone hates me. Except you. I mean, you weren't even mad at me. When you should be. But you..."

I trailed off when I saw him smiling, albeit a little guiltily, again.

"Let's just say I saw something that I can never forget."

He was close. Much too close. I noticed for the first time how long his eyelashes were.

"I..." my voice died in my throat when I looked him in the eye. His eyes were a golden-green in the setting sun, one which I had never seen before.

"I'm nice, am I?"

"Yes..." I whispered in response to the strange question, wondering where this was going.

Then his lips were pressed gently against mine and I didn't need to wonder anymore.

All I could do was marvel how soft James Potter's neck was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: 'Nuff said.**

**PS~ Don't kill me.**


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